10. Fastest footballers

[Finchbee]

http://www.1sports1.com/top-10-fastest-players-in-the-world/

Just seen this, had to post it cos it claims sissoko is faster than walker!!

 

[deejbah]

From an eye test I would say Sissoko is quite fast if he goes on an off the ball counterattack run of 40-50m. He's a big guy, so his first 5-10m is not as good as Walkers but once he gets moving he is fast.

 

[Yid]

Yeah fucking Des Walker the cunt...

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

The description of Sissoko's game is gold:

The Tottenham midfielder is stuffed with lots of speed. This Frenchman is strong in crossing and key passes. His layoffs are unique and create chances here and there. In this season he has managed to score once and provide an assist in English Premier League. His bizarre lone runs from the midfield proves the significance of his position in this list.

 

[Style And Glory]

They say Usain Bolt will train with Dortmund's first team today.

 

[Dorset]

The description of Sissoko's game is gold:

The Tottenham midfielder is stuffed with lots of speed. This Frenchman is strong in crossing and key passes. His layoffs are unique and create chances here and there. In this season he has managed to score once and provide an assist in English Premier League. His bizarre lone runs from the midfield proves the significance of his position in this list.

That sounds like a computer generated article, it is incredibly easy to code up a 'iJouranlist', I did it for a client a couple of years back, you just bung in some key words and out pops a 'genuine' article. I do something similar on my Goalometer site - oh the horror, I don't sit there and type in all that stuff!

Here's a paragraph from the Match Preview for the chavs game, the bold stuff is raw data in my database (which is created using facts, stats and an enormous chunk of techy code wot I wrote) :

​

The away team today, Tottenham Hotspur have faced Chelsea 51 times in previous Premier League encounters, they have won 5, lost 27 and drawn 19.​

That's a really simplistic bit of news generation, I read the stats from my database, then squirt it out in paragraphs. I could make it much more sophisticated by using a thesaurus and a lookup database for key bits:

The bold stuff is data I have in my database or enter as a parameter, so just by parsing
( Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur, 2018-04-01 ),I can generate loads of different versions of the same thing:

• The away team today, Tottenham Hotspur
• The visitors to Stamford Bridge on Sunday, Tottenham Hotspur
• Tottenham Hotspur travel to Chelsea on the 1st of April
• Chelsea welcome London rival Tottenham Hotspur
• 4th placed Chelsea take on 3rd place Tottenham Hotspur
• 5 points separate the home side Chelsea from visitors Tottenham Hotspur
• etc., etc,. .....

All the other human sounding bits could also pick random phrases and sound like a real boy had typed them not a Pinnochio 'puter.

The Internet is full of this robot generated stuff, some of it is incredibly useful, like my own stuff, some of it is total tosh.