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    Birthday thread

    Discussion in 'Rudi's bar' started by Don Diaz, Nov 21, 2016.

    1. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      So since we're all proper Yids on this lovely new shiny forum, i thought it might be good to send each other a 'Happy Birthday' message and 'appropriate' picture on their occasion. Obviously some might want to keep it quiet, but if not when's your birthday, what are you planning etc.?

      I think it was @Dorset yesterday and a bit of a biggie. Glad you're still with us mate after a scary 2016. The Harry's provided the gifts Saturday night....

      here's your pic

      [​IMG]
       
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    2. skiathospurs

      skiathospurs Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Happy birthday!!
      I `ve bought him a dorset microwave,yer pasty is ready mate.....
      [​IMG]
       
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    3. Sneeky

      Sneeky Player in Training.

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      Birthday wishes....
       

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    4. Dorset

      Dorset The Voice Of Reason Founding Member

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      My birthday wasn't yesterday, but it is this week. I won't be celebrating it. I remember when I went from 19 to 20, it was unbelievable that I would never be a teenager anymore, this one is similar. 60 fucking years old, fuck that. I will send a message to the chaps I used to ride those beastly motorcycles with when I used to be alive, my nickname was 'Early' as in grave, mine or someone else's I never worked out - but they are all dead now and I'm not! I don't think I am, am I? No I just breathed on a mirror and it misted up so I must be hanging on.
       
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    5. Liam

      Liam Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      December 17th is mine!!!!! Be the first one since my mid teens I won't be getting sloshed too, what with baby due not too long afterwards I'm taking things easy. I'll make up for it next year though.
       
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    6. Flump

      Flump Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Happy birthday for whenever your birthday is everyone. Let me know when it is @Dorset and I'll eat 5 red peperami in your honour. :mad:
       
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    7. Dorset

      Dorset The Voice Of Reason Founding Member

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      Oh mate don't remind me, I'm on a medically imposed limit of one beer a week, that is just cruel. The actual limit is fuck-all, but I have increased it because the thought of zero alcohol makes me wonder if it's worth it.

      I laughed at the doctors the other day when he asked if I felt my recent medical issues were 'unfair', oh fuck off sonny (I think he's only about 16), I smoked 60 fags a day for 35 years, drank 40 inits of alcohl every day, did absolutely no exercise, ate a really crap diet and took every brain fucking drug I could get my hands on, so no, not really unfair.

      I suppose I should celebrate reaching 60, but in a year when I have had a heart attack, vitreous detachment in the eye that works, gall stones and fuck knows what else they will find when I eventually get to see a gastroenterolgist (the average wait is 23 weeks!) -I don't feel too celebratory. One good thing is thst I have found a travel insurance company that only wants £260 to cover me and Mrs D for a trip to Gran Canaria this Crimbo, so that will be nice.

      While I am moaning like an old fucker, because that is what I am, the NHS is fucked, they are very good at the accute stuff, accidents, heart attacks etc. then you find out how fucking dreadful they really are. The system is fucked up, I don't blame the doctors even though they do earn a very nice pot of wedge, they don't have the time to deal with you as an individual. Don't trust them without doing some research yourself, if their computer says you need drug 'x' then they will try and get you on it regardless of side effects and your own circumstances.

      And another thing, what about this fucking weather? We used to have proper weather when I was young, it was cold and snowy in the winter and nice and sunny in the summer, this modern weather is poxy.

      And another thing, all this Twatrering and Arsebok bollocks people do on their phones gets right on my tits. What is wrong with a good old fashioned phone box and a handful of pennies for vital telephone calls? We didn't need to tell the fucking world that we were going shopping or having a poo when I was alive.

      And another thing, that so-called music they have these days, when I was young we had proper music that you could sing along with, you could gave a nice old sing-song with Black Sabbath's War Pigs or Jimi's Voodoo Chile.

      And another thing, all these fucking flag waving nazis, when I was young we used to welcome foreign people and we dealt with National Front cunts when they marched through Lewisham, yes I was there doing bad things to those nazi cunts, these days they wear nice suits to cover their fucking swastikas and get the retarded voters to back them, or get voted in as President of that pox awful country.

      And another thing, when I was alive there were public toilets eveywhere and I didn't need them, now that I do the cunts have closed them all the cunts.

      And another thing, when I was young I used to be able to remember stuff and concentrate on what I was doing.. oh look there's some cows in the field, I wonder what they think about, where are my slippers, have you seen my slippers?
       
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    8. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      you'll need a few on 7th December just warm up for the big event and the baby's head wetting session...
       
    9. Liam

      Liam Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Yeah I will mate. Let's just hope we still got summin to play for!!!!!
       
    10. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      That's gone a bit pear shaped....bollocks springs to mind.
       
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    11. Liam

      Liam Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Has indeed. Dunno what to do now as gonna cost me a small fortune to get to Wembley and we play Manure away a few days later which I could walk to from mine. I'm wondering whether to save my money and go to that instead?!?!!?!? Gutted we can't go through in CL now though to be honest.
       
    12. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      Yeah completely understand, it's going to be very flat, half the crowd might not even want us to win and I wouldn't be surprised if Poch played a 'squad' team. Guess it will depend on priorities from above and whether we want football on Thursdays/Sundays in the new year whilst pushing for a good finish in the league.

      Oh well we've only got the double to look forward to now!!
       
    13. birdonaball

      birdonaball Player in Training.

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      Happy big birthday @Dorset have a sneaky one, you've earned it mate :). My dad turns 60 in Jan, got no feckin clue what to get him, advice from the older blokes on here would be greatly appreciated.

      My birthday is not till March next year, will just be getting back from a 3 month contract in Florida working in football (I'm not calling it soccer, they can feck off) and then I'm gonna go bang on Poch and Levy's door for a job if we're still in this funk....

      Oh and does anyone know how to change your DOB in the registration thing, I had a look at mine the other day and thanks to registering on my poxy tablet, I've knocked 10 years off my age, usually not a problem for us ladies, but I think it's hilarious :D
       
    14. conor1

      conor1 Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      @Don Diaz @Liam I don't get over very often and tbh was looking forward to the crowd going buck mad at Wembley vs Moscow with something still to play for..........guess that'll not be the case now, but, still looking forward to it. I've a further trip in planning atm also. Intend to bring the missus over in late January for a game so will be begging, borrowing and stealing looking for 2 tickets. Mind is made up.....have to get to the Lane one more time before its gone forever.
       
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    15. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      Great idea, there's plenty of people on here who will help you out. Which game are you planning?
       
    16. Liam

      Liam Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      I need to get to the Lane again soon too!!! Don't think I'm gonna make Wembley now to be honest though. Like @Don Diaz says happy to help getting a ticket if you need.
       
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    17. Dorset

      Dorset The Voice Of Reason Founding Member

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      My advice on what to buy your dad is don't. Us Elders, the venerated wise ones have ascended beyond caring about posessions and trivial stuff like that. The millions of pounds, the years of anguish and heartache and the pain our children have given us canot be made up by a token present. In fact I am not even bothered that one of them and his family didn't even send me a card the selfish cunts, why would they give a fuck just because this was my 60th, they haven't bothered any other year, but I am not bitter because as everyone knows I am such an easy going tolerant sort of kindly old chap. Luckilly I am skint, so when I die my estate will be worth fuck all and my only possesions that are worth a quid -my guitars and computers will go to a cat charity, I fucking hate cats.

      Geusing what a wise one wants for a present is impossible, nobody else can do the necessary hours of research needed to investigate any purchase regardless of size, so ask him what he wants. Yes the surprise element will not be there, but personally I have a big enough surprise when I wake up alive in the morning, I always take my pulse just in case and if it's still going I think to myself 'fucking blimey Mr Dorset, still ticking' then I check in the mirror to make sure it's me.
       
    18. conor1

      conor1 Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      The west brom one might be a bit early but the boro game early feb looks the best bet mate
       
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    19. Rev John Ripsher

      Rev John Ripsher Player in Training.

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      Happy grumpy 60th, Mr D. I left 60 behind years ago, just an observation but it appears we have had a broadly similar diet over the years, and just when I started to take care of myself is coinciding with this current period of feeling old and tired and more than a little grumpy.

      I feel for you, and if I could I would send you the gift of health.
      Keep away from those lentils.
       
    20. Style And Glory

      Style And Glory Player in Training.

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      October 2nd
      But some days if feels like I was born yesterday.
       
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    21. skiathospurs

      skiathospurs Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      I am the same day as oliver reed,peter gabriel and peter hook.Thats quite cool,unfortunatly robbie williams mum squeezed him out the same day so not cool anymore!!
      feb 13th
       
    22. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      Hope you like pancakes....that sort of time of year isn't it?
       
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    23. skiathospurs

      skiathospurs Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      and cards,postie always pissed off thinking i get so many valentines lol
       
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    24. birdonaball

      birdonaball Player in Training.

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      Thanks @Dorset, I know you're right with the whole research thing, so right now I think I'll stick with the driving around a race track for an afternoon experience thingy.

      Birthday's *meh* I can't even remember the last time I celebrated one.

      19th March as I realise I never put the date in the last post. Had a lad in my class who's birthday was the 29th Feb, never was a happy camper.
       
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    25. Style And Glory

      Style And Glory Player in Training.

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      Years ago, I once had a long distance relationship with a lawyer. Lasted over a couple of years. Very bright woman & her appearance did not deceive. She was also very much into astrology. So much so that it somewhat contradicted her intelligence. Long story short, when she found out I shared a birthday with Gandhi, she felt our relationship wouldn't work. It was because she shared a birthday with... wait for it... ...Hitler.

      Apparently, Gandhi & Hitler sitting in a tree.... just doesn't work.

      I believe she is still single.
       
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    26. ParkLaneMal

      ParkLaneMal Player in Training.

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      My kids have bought me these experiences on a couple of landmark birthdays. For my 50th I had a flying lesson in a Tiger Moth which was brilliant as I love flying and learnt to fly back in the 70s. For my 60th they bought me the race track experience where I drove a high performance car. Again brilliant and most recently they bought me the experience of being driven around a race track by a professional race driver which was WOW! and a bit scary with all the G forces, very heavy and very late braking and acceleration.
      Going back to when I was 40 Mrs PLM bought tickets for Les Misérables and I loved it and we went for a 3rd time on my 60th.
      BTW my birthday is 20 December but being a Greavsie Yid, I'm nearer the 70 than 60 but still a few years to go.
       
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    27. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      Les Mis is my favourite show. Your birthday is three days after Liam's.... did you used to get people buying you 'one big present' rather than one for Christmas and one for Birthday??? Bet that was pretty fucking annoying!
       
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    28. Rev John Ripsher

      Rev John Ripsher Player in Training.

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      March 7th.

      I share my birthday with some greats, Sir Viv Richards, Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Ivan Lendl, Sir Eduardo Paolozzi, Rick Mayall, Rachel Weisz.
       
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    29. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      Happy Birthday Liam....not sure when the baby is due, but if it isn't tonight hope you're enjoying much beers and The boys stuff Burnley tomorrow for you!
       
    30. birdonaball

      birdonaball Player in Training.

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      @Liam Happy Birthday ! Hope you're having a great night, and if you're reading this message considering the 5 hour time difference for me- you're having a very good night :D
       

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