December 17th is mine!!!!! Be the first one since my mid teens I won't be getting sloshed too, what with baby due not too long afterwards I'm taking things easy. I'll make up for it next year though.
Oh mate don't remind me, I'm on a medically imposed limit of one beer a week, that is just cruel. The actual limit is fuck-all, but I have increased it because the thought of zero alcohol makes me wonder if it's worth it.
I laughed at the doctors the other day when he asked if I felt my recent medical issues were 'unfair', oh fuck off sonny (I think he's only about 16),I smoked 60 fags a day for 35 years, drank 40 inits of alcohl every day, did absolutely no exercise, ate a really crap diet and took every brain fucking drug I could get my hands on, so no, not really unfair.
I suppose I should celebrate reaching 60, but in a year when I have had a heart attack, vitreous detachment in the eye that works, gall stones and fuck knows what else they will find when I eventually get to see a gastroenterolgist (the average wait is 23 weeks!) -I don't feel too celebratory. One good thing is thst I have found a travel insurance company that only wants £260 to cover me and Mrs D for a trip to Gran Canaria this Crimbo, so that will be nice.
While I am moaning like an old fucker, because that is what I am, the NHS is fucked, they are very good at the accute stuff, accidents, heart attacks etc. then you find out how fucking dreadful they really are. The system is fucked up, I don't blame the doctors even though they do earn a very nice pot of wedge, they don't have the time to deal with you as an individual. Don't trust them without doing some research yourself, if their computer says you need drug 'x' then they will try and get you on it regardless of side effects and your own circumstances.
And another thing, what about this fucking weather? We used to have proper weather when I was young, it was cold and snowy in the winter and nice and sunny in the summer, this modern weather is poxy.
And another thing, all this Twatrering and Arsebok bollocks people do on their phones gets right on my tits. What is wrong with a good old fashioned phone box and a handful of pennies for vital telephone calls? We didn't need to tell the fucking world that we were going shopping or having a poo when I was alive.
And another thing, that so-called music they have these days, when I was young we had proper music that you could sing along with, you could gave a nice old sing-song with Black Sabbath's War Pigs or Jimi's Voodoo Chile.
And another thing, all these fucking flag waving nazis, when I was young we used to welcome foreign people and we dealt with National Front cunts when they marched through Lewisham, yes I was there doing bad things to those nazi cunts, these days they wear nice suits to cover their fucking swastikas and get the retarded voters to back them, or get voted in as President of that pox awful country.
And another thing, when I was alive there were public toilets eveywhere and I didn't need them, now that I do the cunts have closed them all the cunts.
And another thing, when I was young I used to be able to remember stuff and concentrate on what I was doing.. oh look there's some cows in the field, I wonder what they think about, where are my slippers, have you seen my slippers?
