Chelsea (A) PL Sunday 14th August 16:30

[Dorset]

I am glad this fixture is early in the season, it's like going the the dentist, get the fucker over with so you don't have to worry about it for weeks. I watched their last game and they are easily beatable, but history tells us that they have some kind of voodoo hold over us. I really hope this will be our first PL victory over then since .... fucking ages. We've only beaten them once in the PL at their hovel and that was on the 24th February 2008! 30 fucking away games in the PL and 1 fucking win, we must double our tally on Sunday or I will be fucking grumpy.

 

[ClemFandango]

You know I remember back about a million years ago when Aston Villa were somewhat of a bogey team for us but you're spot on about the Chavs. No matter how good we've been and how shit they've been, it always transpires that we forget how to play football and they channel their inner Brazilian national side whenever we meet up.

Definitely the right time for a win though.

 

[spurious]

I fear this will turn out to be a draw with a few goals. I can't see our lot failing to score, but although we for once have a far superior defence, I can see Kanté and Sterling exploiting the sporadically-appearing gap between our midfield duo and the CBs.

 

[Dorset]

I fear this will turn out to be a draw with a few goals. I can't see our lot failing to score, but although we for once have a far superior defence, I can see Kanté and Sterling exploiting the sporadically-appearing gap between our midfield duo and the CBs.

No way Pedro! We need to win by 3 to regain our rightful spot at the top of the table, so my prediction is 3-0 or 4-1 (own goal Emerson - yeah I know, I should stop being beastly to poor old Emerson). Fuck Kante and Stirling, they'll spend so much time trying to outdo each other in the diving competition they'll not be a problem - and if they do get up off their arses Mr Romero and Mr Richarlison will introduce themselves.

 

[Chavhater01]

Hey fellas! Hope everyone’s had/having a good Summer.

I normally have very mixed feelings about this fixture. On the one hand it gives us another chance to beat them on their own turf, and make those ugly chavvy little muggy cunts feel miserable but unfortunately it VERY rarely plays out that way. @Dorset think we’ve beaten ‘em fairly recently at theirs, remember Dele, Eriksen scoring in a 3-1 win, maybe ‘17 or ‘18, must be ‘18, as I think the battle of the bridge was ‘17.

Anyway, already feels like a huge game, the players have had a decent pre season together, and the new signings should be well and truly integrated, so new excuses on that front. Not that we necessarily need the signings atm but they’ll definitely play their part. As @Dorset said, this feels like a really good time to play them. I’m expecting at least a point today, otherwise I’ll be massively disappointed, unless we batter them and they come away with a flukey win, that might just soften the blow.

C’mon boys, pls beat those horrible little cunts!

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

We can lay down a marker today.

COYS

 

[Dorset]

Hey fellas! Hope everyone’s had/having a good Summer.

I normally have very mixed feelings about this fixture. On the one hand it gives us another chance to beat them on their own turf, and make those ugly chavvy little muggy cunts feel miserable but unfortunately it VERY rarely plays out that way. @Dorset think we’ve beaten ‘em fairly recently at theirs, remember Dele, Eriksen scoring in a 3-1 win, maybe ‘17 or ‘18, must be ‘18, as I think the battle of the bridge was ‘17.

Anyway, already feels like a huge game, the players have had a decent pre season together, and the new signings should be well and truly integrated, so new excuses on that front. Not that we necessarily need the signings atm but they’ll definitely play their part. As @Dorset said, this feels like a really good time to play them. I’m expecting at least a point today, otherwise I’ll be massively disappointed, unless we batter them and they come away with a flukey win, that might just soften the blow.

C’mon boys, pls beat those horrible little cunts!

Yep, you're right, our last and only PL win was actually in 2018, not 2008 (that was a League Cup match )- I blame the heat for scrambling my brain. 1 win in 30 PL games there is probably, maybe, possibly true, but I deffo got the date wr.... less correct.

 

[Dorset]

Substitutes​

• 2 Doherty
• 6 D Sánchez
• 9 Richarlison
• 11 Gil
• 14 Perisic
• 20 Forster
• 25 Tanganga
• 27 Lucas Moura
• 38 Bissouma

 

[ClemFandango]

Makes sense to start with the same side. Nobody really deserves to be dropped apart from Royal. He should be dropped just for being alive.

 

[Havocc]

We look nervous, we should be the better prepared team for this fixture

 

[ClemFandango]

Fucking Royal just staring at him ..

 

[Dave]

This is the worst 35 mins since Conte took over. We're second to everything...
We need a spark from somewhere...if they get another, we're done.

 

[ClemFandango]

Awful half. We look absolutely terrified. If he doesn't hook at least 3 players at half time I'll be annoyed.

 

[Chavhater01]

Well we looked alright for about the 1st 4 mins!

I have no idea what the tactics are. When we have possession at the back, we seem to set up with Hojbjerg and Dier as CBs, Romero, Royal, Sess and Davies hugging either touchline with Bentancur as our sole central midfielder, it’s utterly bizarre. Just so easy to play against.

Time to earn your money Antonio, coz that was utter gash.

 

[Dorset]

Sacrifice a cat, now! It's the only way to break this curse. That was disappointing, time for plan B I reckon, get some of the new blokes on and see if they can inject some pace, skill, vision or summfink. Nobody stood out as being any good really.. If we carry on playing like this then we're in trouble.

 

[Dave]

7 new signings...3 games in and we've hardly seen anything from any of them. What exactly is Conte waiting for ? I don't get it...

 

[ClemFandango]

Strange decision. Sessegnon was one of the few bright spots in the first half.

 

[ClemFandango]

Conte should have decked Tuchel ..

 

[Havocc]

Scenes, love it

 

[Dorset]

How is Conte booked, Teuchel went for him.

 

[Dorset]

Battle 2.0?

 

[Havocc]

What an awful goal to concede

 

[ClemFandango]

Game over

 

[Havocc]

Kane and Son have both not started this season

 

[ClemFandango]

Fuuuuck me

 

[Havocc]

Wow, didn’t deserve the point but who cares

 

[Dorset]

Romero got very lucky there, should have been a red card, no corner, no goal - luvvey jubberly. How the fuck did we scrape a point there. Teuchel is a cunt, well suited to that piece of shit club.

 

[ClemFandango]

A point we barely deserved but fuck Chelsea

 

[Dave]

Shite performance, Great result.

 

[Chavhater01]

I fucking hate everything about the Chavs. My God we were shit, they were levels above us today. Looked liked we’d played 3 games this week, could barely get out of our half, played far too deep, passing was awful, too chaotic on the ball, very little in the way of composure but we got lucky, so fuck it!

I hope we’re not done in the transfer window though, coz there are still holes in this team. Haven’t bought anyone that automatically makes our first team better. Need a top class CB and an attacking mid. I hope Spence turns out to be decent, that’s another area that concerns me. Good news is, we got a point, with a performance that I don’t think we could play any worse.