Chelsea, Carrierbag Cup Semi Final 1st leg, (A) - Wed 5th Jan, 19:45

[Dorset]

I am looking forward to this game, but I am also not looking forward to this game. A clean sheet would be great, 1-1 would be good, but I think if we win it then they will come to our house in a right grumpy mood, we'll think the job is done and stand around watching them thump 5 or 6 goals in.......nope, that's too negative, I should make a New Years Revolution to be more positive, I used to be positive, what happened to my positivity? Levy I'm looking at you, you cunt.

 

[BrooklynYid]

I am not feeling very positive either. Even with Barry the Beaver in his lucky spot on the couch I don't feel good in big cup ties, especially against the Chavs. Would love a draw or nick a 1-2 win. We sure as hell have to look better than the last time we played them, so there's that. Optimism!

 

[J.spurs]

I'm so fucking optimistic that I think playing Doherty at LWB is a fine idea.

 

[Dave]

If we score and Conte does anything other than go absolutely mental, I won't be happy...
I want him doing cartwheels on the pitch....at least.

 

[Havocc]

What a fucking mess

 

[Yid]

Men against boys.

 

[Dave]

I can't believe how poor Emerson is...he stood there waiting for the ball to get to his feet...pathetic.

 

[ClemFandango]

They’re making us look like a conference side at the moment. If they can keep up the 100mph pressing there’s no telling how many they’ll get

 

[Yid]

We're not even 2nd to everything. We're chasing shadows

 

[Yid]

Hoijberg has been their best player...

 

[Havocc]

Tanganga is having an absolute nightmare

Almost makes me want to quit football

 

[ClemFandango]

Doherty keeps fucking up when we’re in a half decent position as well

 

[J.spurs]

WTF is going on. Shambles.

 

[Yid]

Honestly, to a man not one of those defenders looks comfortable, composed, confident or assured... they are a fucking shambles tonight.

 

[ClemFandango]

Fucks sake. Absolute fucking clown show.

 

[Yid]

Doherty keeps fucking up when we’re in a half decent position as well

He is utter garbage mate... no end product and bottles it when he has the opportunity to make a key pass and cuts back inside like a fucking melt.

Proper useless cunt.

 

[ClemFandango]

He is utter garbage mate... no end product and bottles it when he has the opportunity to make a key pass and cuts back inside like a fucking melt.

Proper useless cunt.

No argument from me there

I’d honestly throw on Ndombele instead of Hojbjerg. For all his faults, at least he’s got a bit of aggression in him

 

[Havocc]

This is where I expect Kane to grab the game by the balls and show us how much he wants to win a trophy. Son can put some more effort in to

 

[J.spurs]

He is utter garbage mate... no end product and bottles it when he has the opportunity to make a key pass and cuts back inside like a fucking melt.

Proper useless cunt.

Emerson hasn’t been much better, unfortunately

 

[Yid]

The front 3 are starved of service, the midfield is non existent, we've not completed more that 4 passes in sucession without loosing or giving away posession. Our back 4 are gonna need some Prozac at half time, or at least get off the bus and join in the game.

My plan for the second half would be to quickly and quietly get back on the bus and fuck off sharpish before anyone tries to stop us leaving.

 

[J.spurs]

I honestly think that was our worst half of football in any competition this season, and that's saying something. Only good news is that they didn't put the tie away in this half, and no doubt Conte will absolutely peel the paint off the walls in the dressing room.

 

[ClemFandango]

He's got to give them the bollocking of their lives if we're going to get anything out of this. Absolute shit show.

I suspect he'll likely send them all back out and tell them to clean up their mess rather than hook anyone at half time, even though most of them deserve to be

 

[Dorset]

That was so embarrassingly bad. There is a really good number of Spurs fans there, doing their bit, sadly the wankers in the white shirts are not. Conte needs to tell those overpaid pansies that although football is a spectator sport that does not apply to the players. Like I have been saying for yonks that cunt Royal is a useless waste of space - he looks totally at home with the other 9 outfield tossers tonight.

 

[J.spurs]

Fear not, boys, Tanguy's on.

 

[ClemFandango]

Fear not, boys, Tanguy's on.

At least he’s seen sense and hooked Doherty

 

[J.spurs]

At least he’s seen sense and hooked Doherty

Probably/hopefully the last we'll see of him for this club

 

[Yid]

Probably/hopefully the last we'll see of him for this club

He is in the mix with Gilberto in my boom mate... honestly has never produced anything of note and managed to hang about like a bad smell for about 5 years...

 

[Havocc]

Is N’dombele playing like he is in the shop window!

 

[Yid]

Quick Chelsea question...

How the fuck has Werner been give sooooooo much rope by the Chelsea fans/managers...?

He is a steaming pile of Doherty's.

I'm getting super fucking bored of Hoijberg too... arm waving doesn't make up for your inability to pass it 5 fucking yards pal.

We've changed formation and are getting the ball in midfield now so we can remind the front 3 what the ball looks like.

N' Fatcunté seems to been told to perform for his supper for a change...

That first half performance has made me very angry. First time in 2022. It won't be the last... especially this season.

 

[ClemFandango]

You can almost see them looking for any other option instead of passing to Emerson