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Everton A [PL] 15:00 Sat 9th September 2017

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
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1,228
#1

A proper old fashioned Saturday arvo at 3 o'clock match! You don't get many of those for the price of fish all in one basket these days!

A good win here will keep our magnificent 2017-18 season 100% away wins record going! Will we see the new blokes play a part in Saturday's victory? I don't know do I? Why are you asking me?

I do know that because it is now September, Harry Kane is allowed to score, so I expect he is a bit peckish , not having had a taste of those delicious league goals for a while so he will stay in place as my fantasy team skipper - beacue I am expecting his first hat-trick of the 2018 season.

COSY! Ooooh, that works innit? Come On Spurs You!
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
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#2
Everton away, it's one of those games that you know that you can win and if you play well you should win but they're dangerous. I like Everton, don't know why just do, maybe because I don't like Liverpool. I hope we play well and win 2-1, Harry and Dele to score, because they've been running the England show recently and will be the sharpist players on the field, apart from our Belgian boys who will also be sharpish, so 3-1 because Dembele will score as well or maybe Vertonghen.....from a corner, there's a prediction for you.

If none of that happens it will be a good game and a draw, like it always is.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
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1,228
#3
Everton away, it's one of those games that you know that you can win and if you play well you should win but they're dangerous. I like Everton, don't know why just do, maybe because I don't like Liverpool. I hope we play well and win 2-1, Harry and Dele to score, because they've been running the England show recently and will be the sharpist players on the field, apart from our Belgian boys who will also be sharpish, so 3-1 because Dembele will score as well or maybe Vertonghen.....from a corner, there's a prediction for you.

If none of that happens it will be a good game and a draw, like it always is.
Mystic Meg or what? That is just spooky, please tell me what the lottery numbers will be (in a PM cos if everybody knows then the jackpot will have to be shared and I don't do sharing). Del Boy and Hazza looked like they were shaking off the cobwebs last night, some very nice moves which will get slicker as the season progresses, nice!

I am going to predict that Big El will put in some crunchy tackles. Last night it looked like someone had not listened to the rules and had fed him after midnight! He was very lucky not to get a 2nd yellow. I like his aggression, but he needs to work on his timing because the line between a prefect tackle and an early bath (Nooooo! Don't get him wet either, don't you know ANY of the Gremlin rules?) is so narrow. If I was Everton I would be getting the white flag ready, who the fuck would want to face Dread Dier and The Surge (I reckon he'll play on Saturday?)

I can't see Rooney playing, which is a shame because the taunting from our fans would be special and the two beasts mentioned above would have had a lovely day owning his pathetic bottom, he would probably have had a tantrum and got sent off which would have been the icing on top of the cherry on top of the cake on top off the other cake (which would be a marzipan cake).
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
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#4
I agree but no-one likes marzipan....or is that marmite?
 
Sneeky

Sneeky

Player in Training.
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#6
piccalilli ....there said it..... bollocks to you .....makes me puke !
 
Dorset

Dorset

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1,228
#7
If this sort of childish behaviour went on in the other place, it would be commented on. Taking threads off topic with infantile food related posts would be frowned upon and the posters would be encouraged to talk about soccer, dual won, how Pokeycheeno had not won any trophies yet, how shite Vincent is and how great Ben Davies is.

We should really stay on topic. They will be sneering at us and shaking their heads in a superior sort of way because they only talk about their Tottingnham Spurs while we ramble on about anchovies. If I gave a fuck I would be upset about them sneering at us. Luckily I don't.

So, @Don Diaz , you have been brainwashed by the lying fake new media into believing nobody likes marzipan or Marmite eh? Well let me tell you buddy, come the revolution we will be rounding up deviants like you. Everyone will be required to eat a Marmite sarnie, and any hint of yukkiness on the face will result in their entire family being taken to a re-education centre on the Isle of White. There will be no point trying to fix perverts who don't like marzipan, they will be erased, the thought of anyone being a marzipanist in the 21st century makes me want to puke.
 
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

Player in Training.
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204
#8
piccalilli ....there said it..... bollocks to you .....makes me puke !
I like piccalilli, but hen pickled cabbage is quite nice (with a bit of cheese on a sunday night)...
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#9
, the thought of anyone being a marzipanist in the 21st century makes me want to puke.
exactly....

However you're probably right.....a food thread is required and we should take our triumphant march against the rest of the teams in the Premier League more seriously.

Let's beat Everton in a wonderful game with a Kane hat trick and a single one finger type goal from Dele, in a 4-3 victory.....oh bollocks that's a completely different prediction to the last one. We need a forum octopus to predict the results, that way we could all relax.
 
Dorset

Dorset

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1,228
#10
exactly....

However you're probably right.....a food thread is required and we should take our triumphant march against the rest of the teams in the Premier League more seriously.

Let's beat Everton in a wonderful game with a Kane hat trick and a single one finger type goal from Dele, in a 4-3 victory.....oh bollocks that's a completely different prediction to the last one. We need a forum octopus to predict the results, that way we could all relax.
No mate, we need a FIFA 18 expert! Or .... even better an octopus who was an expert at FIFA 18, ....or even better a statitiscal betting odds octopus who was a FIFA 18 expert... or even better than even better a septic tank statitiscal betting odds octopus who was an xG and FIFA 18 expert. Fuck, we could all retire because we would know 100% what all the results were going to be, who was going to score and without a shadow of a doubt that KWP was shite and the Poch was not all that.

Of course there is one absolutely guaranteed way of forecasting matches and that is to use the mystical powers of okra. Nick a Daily Mail from a right wing facist neighbour's doorstep, it is easy to identify who is a facist in Dorset because it is everyone except me and Mrs D. Throw the vile publication in the bin then lob the okra (nick that from Tescos) into the bin as well, take note of where the revolting inedible vegetable is pointing - Bob's your uncle!

A little it of history for you: Ancient native Americans used to smoke Marmite, the haluconeginc effects would enable them to forecast Premier League results, resulting tin them being banned from Bet365. Then came the Boston Marmite party, they threw all the life giving spread into the sea, resulting in the entire country going stark raving mental from Marmite deficiency, this condition has persisted to this day.
 
Last edited:
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
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#12
Liam

Liam

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#15
Let get back to winning ways with this game! Dunno if Serge will be able to start for us and I'm heating Wanyama has a knock but we'll put a strong team out whoever is fit and ready. Don't think Everton are as strong this season as many pundits too, they've added loads of players that wouldn't make our squad and have to get them all settled in too. Saying that Goodison is never an easy place to go to (well it is for me as it's only a short trip) as The home fans are generally good and the team make it a hard place to play, but I feel we can get a good win here and get up and running, again after a couple of disappointing results at Wembley (It's not fucking home is it). Kane to score this week too!!
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#16
Well they will do if you have them together, that's obvious and the road to madness...:D
You beat me to that one! These fucking Marmite haters, facist cunts, they will be dealt with. Actually I don't know about Marmite and marzipan, it might work. They laughed at me when I put bacon on a stick in the chocolate fountain (before they asked me to leave, because nobody would use the fountain aft that),they were wrong, it was nice!
 
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

Player in Training.
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204
#17
You beat me to that one! These fucking Marmite haters, facist cunts, they will be dealt with. Actually I don't know about Marmite and marzipan, it might work. They laughed at me when I put bacon on a stick in the chocolate fountain (before they asked me to leave, because nobody would use the fountain aft that),they were wrong, it was nice!
I'd take a 1-1 and a chance to kick start our season away from home. I hate playing away to Everton, total banana skin and one I want out of the way.

Sooooo... where do you stand on Vegemite?
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#18
I'd take a 1-1 and a chance to kick start our season away from home. I hate playing away to Everton, total banana skin and one I want out of the way.

Sooooo... where do you stand on Vegemite?
You're probably right with the score and vegemite is an imposter that should be stripped from the shelves and buried a sea.
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#19
I'd take a 1-1 and a chance to kick start our season away from home. I hate playing away to Everton, total banana skin and one I want out of the way.

Sooooo... where do you stand on Vegemite?
Banana skins? Don't be daft mate, you throw them away and eat the bit inside! Vegemite is pathetic, a weak impersonation of the real thing, like Australian beer, piss. I don't think we have to accept a draw here, we have a great team, we miss Wanyama for sure, but Everton have big problems, Rooney being a cunt again, I think he'll play and I look forward to a nice bit of taunting from our fans, Barkley wanting out and they have a bunch of injuries. This one is there for the taking and I reckon we'll win it 1-0, I can't see a lot of goals in this, but it's September now so Harry is allowed to score, so maybe a load?
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

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#20
He really is all that isn't? Really intelligent, no bullshit, not bothered about bollocks like fingers. He is all that and more! Without a doubt the best manager in the premier league or maybe the world. Trophies next, then Legend status.

ele é todo isso

(Portuguese for "he is all that" - from the Internet cos I don't parlez the Portugish lingo myself)
The bloke just has integrity,he may be young,tactically naive??,but he can learn to be the master just like Vadar,you cant teach good charachter and basic honesty in people.He is the mutts nuts imo
 
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

Player in Training.
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204
#21
Banana skins? Don't be daft mate, you throw them away and eat the bit inside! Vegemite is pathetic, a weak impersonation of the real thing, like Australian beer, piss. I don't think we have to accept a draw here, we have a great team, we miss Wanyama for sure, but Everton have big problems, Rooney being a cunt again, I think he'll play and I look forward to a nice bit of taunting from our fans, Barkley wanting out and they have a bunch of injuries. This one is there for the taking and I reckon we'll win it 1-0, I can't see a lot of goals in this, but it's September now so Harry is allowed to score, so maybe a load?
I hope so but for some reason these end up being fairly close affairs and as an inter family grudge match rides on it so the pressure is felt.
 
Chavhater01

Chavhater01

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#24
Thank fuck August's over, welcome back Harry, normal service resumed!!
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#29
He meant that! it was never a cross. Great first half, my forecast was uncannily accurate, I predicted that zero or more goals would be scored in this and so far I am right! Another half like that and I will be chuffed and we will get 2 or 3 more.
 

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