Festive Greetings

[Dorset]

 

[Dorset]

Mrs D is trying to rescue my Christmas, but she will fail. It is ruined, over, fucked beyond the point where it is even worth getting dressed so I will just sit in my dressing gown and sulk all fucking day. She has bought a nice turkey that she has been marinating overnight, wrapped it in bacon, made some nice stuffing, got some proper animal fat to cook the roasties in, OK, not duck fat, but it is an animal of some sort so that's OK. She made a Christmas cake weeks ago which has been soaking up all the booze nicely. I have some nice wine in the rack and a very special chunk of cheese, but it will all taste like ashes because there is just no point.

NO FUCKING BRUSSEL SPROUTS!

I wanted to blame Brexit as that is to blame for most things, but I checked and found that Spain actually exports more brussel sprouts than the UK, so my sprouts are not siting in Dover waiting to be sent to Spain - they are on your dinner plates you bastards! Christmas dinner without brussels is just dinner and I will refuse to enjoy it - and the Christmas day telly is total shite, except for maybe Call The Midwife, I like that, but of course fucking iPlayer will be fucking useless tonight, if I was still a UK licence player I would write a strong letter to the BBC!

 

[NiceOneCyril]

You are clearly in great pain - my heart goes out to you. Missing small round ball-shaped vegetables shouldn’t happen at Christmas. So in the spirit of the season I have scoured the internet to find a replacement, and am very pleased to tell you that, this very afternoon, Amazon.co.es will be delivering a large bunch of leeks - enjoy!

This service brought to you by Daniel Levy’s “Make a Holiday Wish” Foundation.

 

[Dorset]

You are clearly in great pain - my heart goes out to you. Missing small round ball-shaped vegetables shouldn’t happen at Christmas. So in the spirit of the season I have scoured the internet to find a replacement, and am very pleased to tell you that, this very afternoon, Amazon.co.es will be delivering a large bunch of leeks - enjoy!

This service brought to you by Daniel Levy’s “Make a Holiday Wish” Foundation.

I would tell you where to put your leeks but as a typical Varna Sankara you would fecking love inserting those disgusting things up your tradesman's entrance, so I will in the spirit of Boris's Christmas miracle keep quiet. Yes, Saint Boris turned a huge, massive pile of shit into a mere huge pile of shit - a miracle.

Ommmmmmmmmm.........

 

[spurious]

Merry Christmas to all. It's cold outside (for most of us),so let's all stay indoors, get drunk, and bitch to our loved ones. COVID-19 don't exist, Boris don't exist, Trump doesn't Trudeau doesn't.

Must have missed a few there. Doesn't matter. Got bubbly on snow. Me go now.

Talk to you all on the 27th!

 

[Style And Glory]

Best wishes to all of you & look forward to 2021 being much better for all.

 

[Havocc]

Merry Xmas folks!

 

[Sneeky]

Happy Yidmas all.

S.

 

[J.spurs]

Well, I'm a day late--which I'll blame on alcohol. So Happy Boxing Day (what's left) and New Year to all. 2020 was a proper varna sankara, here's hoping 2021 will be full of illicit sex, gambling, drugs, and most important onions and garlic, for each of you.

 

[BrooklynYid]

LEVY OUT!

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Fuck off you pack of cunts.

 

[Style And Glory]

Happy New Year Everyone (Cunts, Varna Sankaras, Sprout Lovers, Sulking All Funking Day'ers included).

Here's to a better 2021 all around.

 

[Dorset]

What a cunt of a year thus is - 2021. I woke up this morning with all my rights as a European citizen stolen from me by liars and fuckwits. Happy New Year? Fuck off.

 

[Style And Glory]

Happy New Year Everyone (Cunts, Varna Sankaras, Sprout Lovers, Sulking All Funking Day'ers included).

Here's to a better 2021 all around.

Sorry, should have included "European citizens who's rights have been stolen" but not liars & fuckwits. Take care @Dorset