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Ingerlish is bonkers

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Likes
1,313
#1
What a kettle of fish it must be for those beastly foreigners to learn Ingerlish, of course nobody in the Facist States of the Ex-United Kingdom gives a fuck about those beastly , dirty immigrants now, they're all getting kicked out and good riddance, we'll pick our own fruit ta very much. But, when we go off to Johnny-Foreignerland for our holidays - or we used to when the pound wasn't worth fuck-all, then we expect those dirty savages to speak proper Ingerlish, because we are far too important to learn how to make those silly noises they make innit?

I started the last sentence with a 'But', I would have got beaten stupid at school for that. And, whoops, I done bad Ingerlish again, my psychotic English teacher would have been lashing out with his cane by now for starting a sentence with 'And'. Cunt. That's probably bad Ingerlish as well innit.

Anyway, I was watching the telly last night ad they where talking about those evil gorilla-fiddlers, apiarists, about time those cunts were named and shamed I reckon. But apparently I was wrong in thinking that apiarists were some sort of monkey-maulers and I will now need to apologise to the bloke who makes our local honey - no, you can't have any it's for local Dorset country folk, not nasty townies like you, so fuck off and buy some of that putrid golden syrup from Tescos, that's more your sort of thing.

What sort of stupid language uses a word like apiarist for a fucking bee-keeper, it should be beeiarist!
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
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3,623
#2
I was suprised to see on countdown that collective noun for a group of gooners is a "klunge"
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
Likes
2,153
#3
Who was that 'Riley' chap who had such a great life anyway? Any relation of Rachel's....

And why do preacher men have sons with very long arms....?
 
boo

boo

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Likes
182
#4
he was two close too close the door but he new she through the waist paper bin at his waste
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Likes
795
#7
I got told to "use my words" today by somone when I was left momentarily searching for the correct word to adequately articulate and covey the gravitas of my message.

After being spoken down to in this manner by what I consider an understudy I changed tact and decided on the alternative phrasiology of "fuck off you clever dick".

I believe this was the correct term for the situation.
 
LakewoodSpur

LakewoodSpur

Member
Founding Member
Likes
21
#9
@Dorset ... know exactly what you're saying. I remember many years ago when the doctor told me I had a bad case of hemorrhoids and should see a specialist. I didn't know I even had a 'hemor'; all I knew was my ass was hurting -- So I asked, "Since they're on my ass, don't you think these should be called asteroids?" Long pause. "And what do you call the specialist, an Astronaut?" He was not amused.
 

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