Is there an emoji for.... ?

[Dorset]

Emojis. They are proper little fuckers eh? I have noticed that more and more businesses are sending me emails with these little critters in the title and liberally spread throughout the text. That would be fine if I was 6 years old or a fucking retard, but I am 60 in about 3 weeks ( fuck, you could have got a million to one on that when I was younger, one of my nicknames was 'Early' as in grave! ) - and my brain is actually functioning better now than it has done for yonks because I can't drink any sweet, sweet booze to soothe my tortured mind and quieten the voices at the moment.

So my question is: Is there an emoji for :

• 'You can stick that fucking emoji up your arse'?
• 'I am not a glass half full kind of guy I am a glass in the face of cunts who send me emails full of these infantile fucking emojis kind of guy'
• 'Oi selfish ignorant, facist, sun reading flag-waving Brexit voter - I am going to fuck you over, quietly and subtly and when you least expect it'

If there is, don't bother to tell me because then I will have to find an emoji for 'I am going to buy a can of petrol now and....'

 

[skiathospurs]

I would like a straining for a shit emoji if anyone could find......

 

[Yid]

Emojis. They are proper little fuckers eh? I have noticed that more and more businesses are sending me emails with these little critters in the title and liberally spread throughout the text. That would be fine if I was 6 years old or a fucking retard, but I am 60 in about 3 weeks ( fuck, you could have got a million to one on that when I was younger, one of my nicknames was 'Early' as in grave! ) - and my brain is actually functioning better now than it has done for yonks because I can't drink any sweet, sweet booze to soothe my tortured mind and quieten the voices at the moment.

So my question is: Is there an emoji for :

• 'You can stick that fucking emoji up your arse'?
• 'I am not a glass half full kind of guy I am a glass in the face of cunts who send me emails full of these infantile fucking emojis kind of guy'
• 'Oi selfish ignorant, facist, sun reading flag-waving Brexit voter - I am going to fuck you over, quietly and subtly and when you least expect it'

If there is, don't bother to tell me because then I will have to find an emoji for 'I am going to buy a can of petrol now and....'