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Kin Hell

Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Gotta be preggers... it's fucking long even if it is...
 
BrooklynYid

BrooklynYid

Player in Training.
I had a 7 foot black tip brush my leg at Hilton Head. I did NOT go back in the water. These folks are insane, and fortunately for them not very appetizing.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Eeeek! I have dived with a fish about that size, maybe just a bit bigger and I was very jittery - and it was a fucking plankton eating whale shark! You know they won't hurt you, but when you see the size of the beasts gliding above you like a giant spaceship it's still scary. Don't tell anyone I said that or they will laugh - big tough Dorset (well I was back in my diving days) scared of a plankton eating fish - what a pansy!

When I was a scuba instructor in Thailand I took a Belgian bloke out for his very first open water dive and we saw a 4 meter whale shark (a baby),he did the usual massive intake of breath and I had to drag him back down before his lungs exploded, that fucks your day right up that, and after the dive he asked me if we saw those wee beasties every day. I replied 'I have logged over 1000 dives and that is the 3rd one I have seen, I have mates in the Maldives who have done several thousand dives and have never seen one of the buggers - buy a lottery ticket'.

Never dived with a Great White, don't want to, they are ugly nasty fuckers. We have dived with Tiger Sharks, they are beautiful and wouldn't normally attack you in open water, they are sneaky fuckers that like to gobble you up in the shallows when you are paddling (or plodgeing as Mrs D calls it because she is from the frozen North). The scariest shark we ever dived with was an Oceanic White Tip, that huge cunt circled us for ages and I had to stay at 5m while all the other divers got on the boat, watching the evil looking thing, then do the hairiest exit I had ever done, dump the scuba kit, finned like fuck and was dragged onto the boat by the boat boys, phew, I still have nightmares about that dive. I always hated waiting on the surface for the boat because I like to see what is going on and what beats are about to eat me up!

The only thing I have ever been attacked by was a Titan Trigger Fish, they are cunts, evil, nasty, ugly, aggressive cunts.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
I have seen the island here`s dirty little secret!!About 8 years ago a guy I know showed me 3 or 4 photos from the 80s of a great white they killed off of a beach here.The coastguard shot it in the shallows,it was as long as the small tender they used (about 4-5m) and also there was a pic of it on the beach,mouth held up&open pose.It was the time after jaws and even though there is more chance of me getting hit by a bus driven by a midget wearing a nurse outfit singing long haired lover from liverpool eating a mars bar whilst fingering brooke shields in the passenger seat....you get the picture...they just used to kill em.I have since found out the island close by, Alonnissos along with gozo malta were the two breeding spots in all the med for great whites (aegean technically is part of the med for this purpose),but here at least they have been exctinct for a couple of decades now.There was a marine biologist from athens came about 6 years back to investigate why in the protected marine park off alonnissos the seal colony was diminishing!!Never heard the result.
Doesnt worry me at all,when i have been out on the kayak and dolphins have been close or one time a seal (not cute&cuddly at all,especially when it starts hissing at you!) i have been more worried,i mean who wants to get rogered by a horny dolphin if it tips you in,maybe that guy from Hull if you remember the sexual assaulting a marine mammal story (for our foreign friends true story!).

Basically its like fight club,the first rule is dont ever mention the great white sharks to the tourists.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
We're not made for going down there.... we have no business down there... it's fucking beautiful and on the odd occasion I have dived I have loved every fucking second of it.

However, you're in their manner.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
I have seen the island here`s dirty little secret!!About 8 years ago a guy I know showed me 3 or 4 photos from the 80s of a great white they killed off of a beach here.The coastguard shot it in the shallows,it was as long as the small tender they used (about 4-5m) and also there was a pic of it on the beach,mouth held up&open pose.It was the time after jaws and even though there is more chance of me getting hit by a bus driven by a midget wearing a nurse outfit singing long haired lover from liverpool eating a mars bar whilst fingering brooke shields in the passenger seat....you get the picture...they just used to kill em.I have since found out the island close by, Alonnissos along with gozo malta were the two breeding spots in all the med for great whites (aegean technically is part of the med for this purpose),but here at least they have been exctinct for a couple of decades now.There was a marine biologist from athens came about 6 years back to investigate why in the protected marine park off alonnissos the seal colony was diminishing!!Never heard the result.
Doesnt worry me at all,when i have been out on the kayak and dolphins have been close or one time a seal (not cute&cuddly at all,especially when it starts hissing at you!) i have been more worried,i mean who wants to get rogered by a horny dolphin if it tips you in,maybe that guy from Hull if you remember the sexual assaulting a marine mammal story (for our foreign friends true story!).

Basically its like fight club,the first rule is dont ever mention the great white sharks to the tourists.
A local dive master in the Maldives told us years ago that 1 or 2 tourists are taken by Tiger sharks every year there, but the feds put it down to boat accidents, "oh no missus your hubby was chopped up by a propeller, no nasty sharks here".

When we lived in Ozzistralia there was a little ( 4m so fucking big enough) great white called Eric, he had a radio tag on him and whenever the news reported him being near Bondi there were not many surfers surfing, A bit dumb really because the other hundreds of Great Whites that were prowling around did not have transmitters!

The chances of you getting gobbled up are really remote, like you said. A decent meal like a seal or a diver will keep one of them big buggers stuffed for 6 weeks, so the chances of it being hungry when it sees you are slim. The ocean is quite big, so the chances of a big predatory shark being in the bit you are in are slim. Of course, if you meet a grumpy one it will rip you to bits for a laugh or to show off to its mates.

There is a very old documentary film from when Jaques Cousteau started filming wildlife doccos, him and his crew used to lob dynamite into 'shark infested' waters so they could film the 'nice' creatures!

There is one guaranteed way to stay safe - don't go in the ocean, but fuck that for a game of soldiers, I love the sea and sharks and will jump in every time I see one, the fear and realisation does not kick in until I get back on the boat, then I think "what the fuck?".
 
Last edited:
Thfcire

Thfcire

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
I have seen the island here`s dirty little secret!!About 8 years ago a guy I know showed me 3 or 4 photos from the 80s of a great white they killed off of a beach here.The coastguard shot it in the shallows,it was as long as the small tender they used (about 4-5m) and also there was a pic of it on the beach,mouth held up&open pose.It was the time after jaws and even though there is more chance of me getting hit by a bus driven by a midget wearing a nurse outfit singing long haired lover from liverpool eating a mars bar whilst fingering brooke shields in the passenger seat....you get the picture...they just used to kill em.I have since found out the island close by, Alonnissos along with gozo malta were the two breeding spots in all the med for great whites (aegean technically is part of the med for this purpose),but here at least they have been exctinct for a couple of decades now.There was a marine biologist from athens came about 6 years back to investigate why in the protected marine park off alonnissos the seal colony was diminishing!!Never heard the result.
Doesnt worry me at all,when i have been out on the kayak and dolphins have been close or one time a seal (not cute&cuddly at all,especially when it starts hissing at you!) i have been more worried,i mean who wants to get rogered by a horny dolphin if it tips you in,maybe that guy from Hull if you remember the sexual assaulting a marine mammal story (for our foreign friends true story!).

Basically its like fight club,the first rule is dont ever mention the great white sharks to the tourists.
I’d like to point out brook shields was 18 at the time and I resent the nickname jimmy
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
I’d like to point out brook shields was 18 at the time and I resent the nickname jimmy
Ha ha ha

I did my ‘Open water’ Scuba in a week on the barrier reef a long time ago. We didn’t see anything like this only little reef sharks and rays and coral fish etc. But such a beautiful world down there, you really feel like a visitor and to pay the locals some respect.

I have however been in touching distance of great whites. In fact have tried to push the nose of one out from between the bars of a cage I was in in South Africa, not far from Cape Town. Whilst they are ugly fuckers and swim with their mouths half open, they have real grace in the water. First time you see one is scary as fuck though, especially when some bastard is pulling half a tuna past your ear to attract them in. That box has been ticked.

Anyone done a big bungee jump anywhere good?
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Ha ha ha

I did my ‘Open water’ Scuba in a week on the barrier reef a long time ago. We didn’t see anything like this only little reef sharks and rays and coral fish etc. But such a beautiful world down there, you really feel like a visitor and to pay the locals some respect.

I have however been in touching distance of great whites. In fact have tried to push the nose of one out from between the bars of a cage I was in in South Africa, not far from Cape Town. Whilst they are ugly fuckers and swim with their mouths half open, they have real grace in the water. First time you see one is scary as fuck though, especially when some bastard is pulling half a tuna past your ear to attract them in. That box has been ticked.

Anyone done a big bungee jump anywhere good?
Bungee jump? Fuck off with that old bollocks. I don't do anything higher than an armchair.
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
Bungee jump? Fuck off with that old bollocks. I don't do anything higher than an armchair.
Scariest thing I’ve ever done. When you know you’re not dead, you buy everything they throw at you...t shirt, DVD, photo the lot!!
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
Talking of ‘kin hell’ has anyone seen or heard about the French bloke who climbed El Capitan in Yosemite without ropes in about 3 and a half hours. They made a film called solo about it.

If anyone with the technical can post a pic or two or a link, you’ll get an appreciation of what this nutcase achieved. Completely incredible in the true sense.

Even more so if you’re a bit of a ‘Nancy boy potter’ like me when it comes to heights.
 
Glenjamin

Glenjamin

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Sharks are amazing, but I have to admit they scare me. I always go in the water though everywhere I go to tell myself that it's rare to see one, never mind be attacked. Obviously this statement is untrue if you go to the right places looking to actually see them.

When I was travelling Australia I went to a place called Fraser Island. Before you go they run through some rules. One being dont go in the sea. Fraser is close to the mainland which heats the water or something as its narrow, so tiger sharks love it. Obviously few drinks in a few of us are in the water at night. Yip dumb as fuck. Next day on the ferry back group of gulls in the water. Bang!! Big fuck off shark comes out n grabs one, while I'm looking over the side. Look back. Beach we were on. 300 yards away.

Fear of sharks is wrong, due to being in properly informed, but with go pros and phone tech etc it's only going to get worse as everything is filmed now. I remember first attack I really seen on the Internet was a girl swimming in the ocean surrounded by boats and wham this fin comes out. Once on the boat her leg was gone. They weren't allowed to air that for years on tele til discovery got a hold of it a while back, but now it's different news will air anything.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Talking of ‘kin hell’ has anyone seen or heard about the French bloke who climbed El Capitan in Yosemite without ropes in about 3 and a half hours. They made a film called solo about it.

If anyone with the technical can post a pic or two or a link, you’ll get an appreciation of what this nutcase achieved. Completely incredible in the true sense.

Even more so if you’re a bit of a ‘Nancy boy potter’ like me when it comes to heights.
havent heard of it,but i watched that film of the french guy who high line walked between the world trade centre towers.I would rather swim with sharks on my period TBH.
 
Thfcire

Thfcire

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Ha ha ha

I did my ‘Open water’ Scuba in a week on the barrier reef a long time ago. We didn’t see anything like this only little reef sharks and rays and coral fish etc. But such a beautiful world down there, you really feel like a visitor and to pay the locals some respect.

I have however been in touching distance of great whites. In fact have tried to push the nose of one out from between the bars of a cage I was in in South Africa, not far from Cape Town. Whilst they are ugly fuckers and swim with their mouths half open, they have real grace in the water. First time you see one is scary as fuck though, especially when some bastard is pulling half a tuna past your ear to attract them in. That box has been ticked.

Anyone done a big bungee jump anywhere good?
I’m terrified of heights (and no not because I’m a short arse you cheeky cunts lol) so bungee jumping can get In the bin
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
I’m terrified of heights (and no not because I’m a short arse you cheeky cunts lol) so bungee jumping can get In the bin
Me too mate, Mrs D booked me an England rugby ticket for my birthday thinking I would prefer that to seeing Spurs play Wigan, yes it was THAT 9-1 day. We had to get out seats changed cos I started to get very wobbly up in the heights of Twickenham.

Wasps is the other thing I can't handle. I am terrified of those fuckers, bees don't bother me, we had snakes, lizards and scorpions in Thailand and although I give them a lot of respect, they don't really frighten me. Nutters with shooters, nutters with blades, nutters with big sticks and Mrs Dorset are also on my list.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
[QUOTE="Dorset, post: 33709, member: 11
Wasps is the other thing I can't handle. I am terrified of those fuckers, bees don't bother me, we had snakes, lizards and scorpions in Thailand and although I give them a lot of respect, they don't really frighten me. Nutters with shooters, nutters with blades, nutters with big sticks and Mrs Dorset are also on my list.[/QUOTE]
If its like here you are gonna love spain then ,bout 20 types of euro wasps.
 
Thfcire

Thfcire

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Me too mate, Mrs D booked me an England rugby ticket for my birthday thinking I would prefer that to seeing Spurs play Wigan, yes it was THAT 9-1 day. We had to get out seats changed cos I started to get very wobbly up in the heights of Twickenham.

Wasps is the other thing I can't handle. I am terrified of those fuckers, bees don't bother me, we had snakes, lizards and scorpions in Thailand and although I give them a lot of respect, they don't really frighten me. Nutters with shooters, nutters with blades, nutters with big sticks and Mrs Dorset are also on my list.
I get stung every year without fail by the yellow and black cunts and it’s it the face through the helmet btw hate them with a passion ,went World Cup in 94 with my da last row of the giants stadium Ireland vs Italy ray houghton scorez great day ruined by me passing out walking down them stairs and ending up in a&e
 
The Cryptkeeper

The Cryptkeeper

The Aussie Yid
Sharks are amazing, but I have to admit they scare me. I always go in the water though everywhere I go to tell myself that it's rare to see one, never mind be attacked. Obviously this statement is untrue if you go to the right places looking to actually see them.

When I was travelling Australia I went to a place called Fraser Island. Before you go they run through some rules. One being dont go in the sea. Fraser is close to the mainland which heats the water or something as its narrow, so tiger sharks love it. Obviously few drinks in a few of us are in the water at night. Yip dumb as fuck. Next day on the ferry back group of gulls in the water. Bang!! Big fuck off shark comes out n grabs one, while I'm looking over the side. Look back. Beach we were on. 300 yards away.

Fear of sharks is wrong, due to being in properly informed, but with go pros and phone tech etc it's only going to get worse as everything is filmed now. I remember first attack I really seen on the Internet was a girl swimming in the ocean surrounded by boats and wham this fin comes out. Once on the boat her leg was gone. They weren't allowed to air that for years on tele til discovery got a hold of it a while back, but now it's different news will air anything.
You Poms are soft.

Many of us Aussies keep tiger sharks, western taipans or funnel web spiders as pets.

Drop bears are the real danger out here. You gotta watch those fuckers.

https://australianmuseum.net.au/learn/animals/mammals/drop-bear/
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
You Poms are soft.

Many of us Aussies keep tiger sharks, western taipans or funnel web spiders as pets.

Drop bears are the real danger out here. You gotta watch those fuckers.

https://australianmuseum.net.au/learn/animals/mammals/drop-bear/
What about those magpie fuckers? I used to get attacked by them cycling, that was ,me cycling not the magpies, I managed to punch one of the fuckers once, fell off my bike but taught that bugger a lesson it didn't forget - until the next day.
 
Thfcire

Thfcire

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Come to ireland we don’t even have snakes old st Patrick battered them all the French Cunt we kidnapped
 
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