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Man illnesses n' stuff.

Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
Well lads, my hole has been very itchy lately. I'm healthy and all that but in the last 2/3 years my arse has been very itchy on a daily basis. Is this a common middle aged thing I wonder ? I refuse to put cream on it purely because I believe the only arses that should have cream on them belong to babies.

I keep my arse very clean btw....so it's not that.

Feel free to post your "Man illnesses" here and maybe we can do a collective Spursy Diagnosis on the problem.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Well lads, my hole has been very itchy lately. I'm healthy and all that but in the last 2/3 years my arse has been very itchy on a daily basis. Is this a common middle aged thing I wonder ? I refuse to put cream on it purely because I believe the only arses that should have cream on them belong to babies.

I keep my arse very clean btw....so it's not that.

Feel free to post your "Man illnesses" here and maybe we can do a collective Spursy Diagnosis on the problem.
Might be a bit of farmer Giles mate... They can itch like fuck...

Ever get a bit of claret when you wipe? Probably a rogue farmer or the start of one...
 
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
Might be a bit of farmer Giles mate... They can itch like fuck...

Ever get a bit of claret when you wipe? Probably a rogue farmer or the start of one...
Nah no red, just annoying, but...thanks
Dr Yid.
 
Havocc

Havocc

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Could also be threadworm, or a variant. Pop into the chemist to get some over the counter medicine. Couple of dose should see you right. Anyone else in your house will need it to. You may also be able to see them in your stool.
 
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
Could also be threadworm, or a variant. Pop into the chemist to get some over the counter medicine. Couple of dose should see you right. Anyone else in your house will need it to. You may also be able to see them in your stool.
Jesus fucking christ!!!😲...Worms ???

I should've started this thread.
 
Sneeky

Sneeky

Player in Training.
Founding Member
I got a split foreskin...back to Dave's Worms....
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
I got a split foreskin...back to Dave's Worms....
I snapped my banjo string on the penultimate stroke of my 21st birthday shag. On a white sheepskin rug no less...!

Went full thrust, over rotated on the backstroke, and plunged in with full gusto to the crevice of dreams... Only to withdraw with steering pain and alternate spurts of jizz and claret...!!!

Needless to say... It was memorable... For both of us...!!!
 
Havocc

Havocc

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
^been there too. Fucking painful!!! Blamed the girl for being on the blob and ran away…..oh to be 17 again!!
 
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
Well here we are. Started out with my possible piles diagnosis and ended up with @Yid telling us about breaking his "banjo string" and jizzing over a sheepskin rug. 🤣
It's all your fault @Sneeky
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
^been there too. Fucking painful!!! Blamed the girl for being on the blob and ran away…..oh to be 17 again!!
Mate I was scared shitless...

I wrapped some bogg roll round my throbbing sloppy knob and got on the blower to my best pal.... Who proceeded to piss himself senseless down the blower at me...

As I hung up, I'd lost my hardon enough for the bloody, jizzy shit roll to plop off my dick onto the floor, staining the in-laws hallway carpet...!!!
 
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
Mate I was scared shitless...

I wrapped some bogg roll round my throbbing sloppy knob and got on the blower to my best pal.... Who proceeded to piss himself senseless down the blower at me...

As I hung up, I'd lost my hardon enough for the bloody, jizzy shit roll to plop off my dick onto the floor, staining the in-laws hallway carpet...!!!
Holy fuck!!!Ha ha!
 
DMackay

DMackay

Player in Training.
Nah no red, just annoying, but...thanks
Dr Yid.

No idea how old you are mate but if you’re pushing 50 it might be an idea to see your GP who could arrange a bowel cancer spatula test to see if there are any traces of blood!

Usually these tests are for the over 60s

I had one when I was 60 and traces of blood were found so I had to have a colonoscopy which showed several polyps in my lower intestine which they removed during the procedure.

Unfortunately as they went deeper into my intestines they found a large tumour, golf ball size, which they tried but couldn’t remove!

I had major surgery a couple of months afterwards and they removed it plus 7” of intestines either side of it to make sure they got the roots!

The tumour was benign but the roots weren’t so a good job they removed them!

Surgeon was a Romanian guy who was brilliant and probably saved my life as he told me if I didn’t have this procedure I would have about 6-12 months. The danger is that it spreads through the intestine walls into the lymph glands!

He performed the operation using keyhole surgery (laparoscopic) and I hardly have a scar now.

This was in 2015 and I have a colonoscopy every year but happily all clear!

Better safe than sorry is my motto so got to be worth a check!
 
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
No idea how old you are mate but if you’re pushing 50 it might be an idea to see your GP who could arrange a bowel cancer spatula test to see if there are any traces of blood!

Usually these tests are for the over 60s

I had one when I was 60 and traces of blood were found so I had to have a colonoscopy which showed several polyps in my lower intestine which they removed during the procedure.

Unfortunately as they went deeper into my intestines they found a large tumour, golf ball size, which they tried but couldn’t remove!

I had major surgery a couple of months afterwards and they removed it plus 7” of intestines either side of it to make sure they got the roots!

The tumour was benign but the roots weren’t so a good job they removed them!

Surgeon was a Romanian guy who was brilliant and probably saved my life as he told me if I didn’t have this procedure I would have about 6-12 months. The danger is that it spreads through the intestine walls into the lymph glands!

He performed the operation using keyhole surgery (laparoscopic) and I hardly have a scar now.

This was in 2015 and I have a colonoscopy every year but happily all clear!

Better safe than sorry is my motto so got to be worth a check!
Early fifties but you wouldn't think it cos i look fucking amazing!
Appreciate that. Might look into it...Actually I'll let the Doc look into it.

Glad to see your good now mate. 👍
 
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
20240710_205759.gif
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Lads I didn't die.... Yet...!

Managed to pick up Sinusitis on top of the COVID which was precisely zero fun...

Honestly, waking up feeling like I have had an axe wedged half way through my face and every movement, cough, sneeze or fart made the herd of dildoceros inside my head, wake up and super fuck my brain with their massive, dry, dildo horns, until I passed out again, was not fun.

Either way, I'm going to fuck off to Greece and infect all them cunts with the remnants of my illness over the weekend while I eat Moussaka and Baclava until I'm too fat to get back on the plane...

I'm isolated in a private villa in an infinity pool looking over the Med... So won't be infecting too many people's.

Tested negative this morning. 😉

Thanks for all the kind words and well wishes... You cunts.
 
Last edited:
Dave

Dave

Player in Training.
Founding Member
Lads I didn't die.... Yet...!

Managed to pick up Sinusitis on top of the COVID which was precisely zero fun...

Honestly, waking up feeling like I have had an axe wedged half way through my face and every movement, cough, sneeze or fart made the herd of dildoceros inside my head, wake up and super fuck my brain with their massive, dry, dildo horns, until I passed out again, was not fun.

Either way, I'm going to fuck off the Greece and infect all them cunts with the remnants of my illness over the weekend while I eat Moussaka and Baclava until I'm too fat to get back on the plane...

I'm isolated in a private villa in an infinity pool looking over the Med... So won't be infecting too many people's.

Tested negative this morning. 😉

Thanks for all the kind words and well wishes... You cunts.
Jesus @Yid ...you're going through shit. Hopefully you're on the home stretch now. Wish you well.
 
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Style And Glory

Style And Glory

On My High Trojan Horse
Founding Member
Lads I didn't die.... Yet...!

Managed to pick up Sinusitis on top of the COVID which was precisely zero fun...

Honestly, waking up feeling like I have had an axe wedged half way through my face and every movement, cough, sneeze or fart made the herd of dildoceros inside my head, wake up and super fuck my brain with their massive, dry, dildo horns, until I passed out again, was not fun.

Either way, I'm going to fuck off to Greece and infect all them cunts with the remnants of my illness over the weekend while I eat Moussaka and Baclava until I'm too fat to get back on the plane...

I'm isolated in a private villa in an infinity pool looking over the Med... So won't be infecting too many people's.

Tested negative this morning. 😉

Thanks for all the kind words and well wishes... You cunts.
My apologies for LOL at your predicament but the imagery...

Are you on an island or on the mainland's coast?

PS find @skiathos
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
My apologies for LOL at your predicament but the imagery...

Are you on an island or on the mainland's coast?

PS find @skiathos
On Rhodes pal, Lindos to be precise... For 5 days of fuck all then off to Athens for 6 days of all the greek shit I can consume.

Although as I screamed to get the kids in the car to go to the airport hotel prior to early morning flight, I bought Id double heck all th deets...

Yep I fucked up the airport hotel, and was booked into stay there the same night as our first night in Rhodes... Panic set in and as I double checked all the flights found out Sleazy Jet had knocked my flight back 6 hours... So even if I had booked the hotel right I'd have arrived at the airport nearly 10 hours before my flight...

All sorted now and I'll sleep in my own bed and valet park the diesel beast around half 10 tomorrow...

Can't fucking wait to be away from it all.
 
DMackay

DMackay

Player in Training.
On Rhodes pal, Lindos to be precise... For 5 days of fuck all then off to Athens for 6 days of all the greek shit I can consume.

Although as I screamed to get the kids in the car to go to the airport hotel prior to early morning flight, I bought Id double heck all th deets...

Yep I fucked up the airport hotel, and was booked into stay there the same night as our first night in Rhodes... Panic set in and as I double checked all the flights found out Sleazy Jet had knocked my flight back 6 hours... So even if I had booked the hotel right I'd have arrived at the airport nearly 10 hours before my flight...

All sorted now and I'll sleep in my own bed and valet park the diesel beast around half 10 tomorrow...

Can't fucking wait to be away from it all.

Enjoy mate

Sounds as though you need it

Fucking hot here…..
 
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Style And Glory

Style And Glory

On My High Trojan Horse
Founding Member
On Rhodes pal, Lindos to be precise... For 5 days of fuck all then off to Athens for 6 days of all the greek shit I can consume.

Although as I screamed to get the kids in the car to go to the airport hotel prior to early morning flight, I bought Id double heck all th deets...

Yep I fucked up the airport hotel, and was booked into stay there the same night as our first night in Rhodes... Panic set in and as I double checked all the flights found out Sleazy Jet had knocked my flight back 6 hours... So even if I had booked the hotel right I'd have arrived at the airport nearly 10 hours before my flight...

All sorted now and I'll sleep in my own bed and valet park the diesel beast around half 10 tomorrow...

Can't fucking wait to be away from it all.
@Yid if you're in Lindos, the actual "Stairway To Heaven" is there at the main temple. From its base, you look up & it's as if the stairs lead you into the sky. It's magnificent. And the view...

The main town of Rhodes, within its walls & harbour, is beautiful. Besides the remains from antiquity, there are many remnants from the Crusades. Gorgeous island.

Relax & enjoy your stay Pal.
 
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