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    Miserable, moaning, sickboy, poorley, illness thread.....

    Discussion in 'Rudi's bar' started by Yid, Aug 20, 2016.

    1. Yid

      Yid Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Well I feel like a sack of actual shit.

      I have the start of a sinus infection and am taking the oportunity while my head doesn't feel like it has been cleaved in half and my brains are spilling over the floor to stick a thread up where we can whine and bitch about being ill.

      We all know Dorset (is he still called that on here?) is basically a member of the extras of the walking dead with his moody ticker and Ire is a hip flask away from sustaining irreversible liver damage so we all have shit to whine about whine about right now.

      So who else is (not so quietly) dieing while those around us give zero fcuks.....?
       
    2. Dorset

      Dorset The Voice Of Reason Founding Member

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      I think I am still called Dorset, yep, I just looked at my user name and it is in fact Dorset, I also had a look in the mirror just to make sure it was me, and it is.

      Don't talk to me about feeling poorly you whinger, when you get to level 11 on the poorly scale like what I done have this year I might listen. Yes, I said 11, because like the amp in Spinal Tap my poorliness index goes up to 11. It is a miracle that I have the strength to type this on my keyboard, it is just down to my inner strength and superiority over normal human beings that I an still alive, I think I am still alive, yep I just took my pulse and my heart is still beating occasionally.

      We were just talking about death, me and Mrs D, because we were watching something about relatives baggsying old folks stuff when they die. I told Mrs D that I want to be burnt with my Fender Stratocaster, the only possession I have that I really give a fuck about, so I can play guitar in heaven - like I would go there if it existed! The real reason I want to doodle off my my Strat is so none of my children or grandchildren could get their hands on it, if they can't even be fucked sending me a card or phoning on my birthday then they will be inheriting my entire fortune, which is fuck all and a guitar.
       
    3. Yid

      Yid Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Found the perfect angle to drain the shit into the back of my throat..... this is winning...!

      I do have to get up every 5 or 6 minutes to cough and sniff up a multi coloured snot calm though, which is becoming tiresome. It's fun spitting it into the toilet on the white porcelain when I can see exactly what colour and consistency the gunk is that is making me feel like I have a fcuking brain tumor...!!!

      Anyway glad to hear you ain't as bad as me Dorset. I'm clearly beyond "level"s with this and am practically typing this from the afterlife. I fully expect to have ghost stories and folklore based around my illness but I'm sure I can deal with that by haunting the shit out of people... that is until I recover and beat death obviously.

      My snotty spirit wishes you well....
       
    4. Flump

      Flump Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      I had the shits for 5 days last week followed 3 days of no shits at all. Then order was resumed and the undertaker put his tape away. It wasn't pleasant. Days 4 and 5 were just brown water. Not at all good.

      Who's next?
       
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    5. Thfcire

      Thfcire Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Well after 14 hours of solid vodka drinking for mcgregor fight I spent two hours yesterday morning puking my stomach lining up
       
    6. Yid

      Yid Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      So I see the Nurse practitioner..... whatever the fcuk that is...!

      I explain it's the same syptoms I had in may and that I was give antibiotics to clear it up.

      She says it has to be 10/14 days before they usually give antibiotic so as this has been only 5 there's not much she can do.

      I obviously asked but this is a recurrence of what I had before isn't it?

      Maybe...yes...not really... clear as mud...!!!

      So she issues me with a prescription for more antibiotics but asks me not to get them/take them for another 5 days.....!!!

      Does this happen? Am I the only one that thinks this is a bit weird?

      Either I ain't a lowed the or I am..... and when does a patient with no medical knowledge have the first idea if they are better or not?

      Perscription at home, head still sore, snot still flowing..... what the fcuk do they expect me to do?
       
    7. deejbah

      deejbah Player in Training.

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      :cool:I got smashed in the face during a game and couldn't see for a day, now everything's still blurry and I have a nice black eye.
       
    8. Yid

      Yid Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Not sickness related but had to go for a visit to the jizz clinic today.

      I've wanted in some strange places but that was by far the most awkward...

      Porn was shit too.... gob bless 4G and pornhub.
       
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    9. skiathospurs

      skiathospurs Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      donation or withdrawal??
       
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    10. Thfcire

      Thfcire Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      The jizz clinic ?? I didn't see you in my front room mate ??
       
    11. Yid

      Yid Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Direct deposit mate..... missus didn't tell ya....?
       
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    12. Thfcire

      Thfcire Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Braver man than me mate she doesn't like you English ha ha
       
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    13. Dorset

      Dorset The Voice Of Reason Founding Member

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      Nobody does, I fucking hate the fuckers myself, fucking arrogant fuckers who think they rule the world and can walk into someone's front room and jizz all over the place. Yeah I hate these cunts almost as much as I hate the non-English cunts, they are cunts as well.
       
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    14. Don Diaz

      Don Diaz Zero tolerance of Numpty's Founding Member

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      If you want to know what exhaustion looks like in a sporting context and the true meaning of giving it your all...check out Alastair Brownlee helping his brother Jonny in the final of the world Triathlon series in Mexico last weekend. makes a couple of tight hamstrings look a little less dramatic....

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/triathlon/37402716
       
    15. LakewoodSpur

      LakewoodSpur Member Founding Member

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      @Yid...My cancer doctor (she's a hot Korean babe who could be on the those KAL commercials) gave me the perfect prescription some years ago. After a lengthy operation (I've had two big ones and too many to count minor ones), it was time to go home and she asked me, "Do you have a recliner?" "Yes," I replied. "Do you have a cooler that you can place by your recliner?" "Uh, huh," I nodded. "Do you have a TV with a remote?" "Yes," I answered. "Okay," she said, "sit in your recliner, have your wife keep your cooler filled with beer, and watch TV using your remote so you don't have to exert yourself." To prevent a relapse of the cancer, I still adhere to that treatment; and, knock-on-wood it's working. I love my doctor!
       
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    16. Yid

      Yid Well-Known Member Founding Member

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      Has to be honoured at the BBC sports personality awards.

      Fucking legendary actions that demonstrate more to the world about how great this country is that any politician has done in the last decade.

      That is why they are the best at what they do. Passion, pride, brotherly competitiveness and over all love.
       
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