Moron-io Stats

[Dorset]

I am going to publish some stats about how Moron-io is doing in the Premier League, I don't include cup games in my stats because they ruin the purity and beauty of my lovely numbers, cup games are lotteries and I don't not never ever do kippers and custard stats.

I will also unashamedly compare Moron-io with previous managers, if you don't like it then please feel free to fuck off.

Stat One of - fuck knows, maybe just one.

Moron-io has now been in charge of 46 Premier League games
Won 22 - 47.83%

Mr Pochettino's last 46 Premier League games
Won 23 - 50%

These are fair comparisons I think and the 2 questions I will ask are:

1) What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
2) If a 50% win rate gets a chap sacked then why does a worse rate of 47.83% not, eh Mr levy?

 

[Dorset]

Stat Two

Comparing the Premier League Win percentages of Moron-io to the previous four sacked managers:

Joe Moron-io - 47.83%
Mauricio Pochettino - 55.94%
Tim Sherwood - 59.09%
Andrew Village Boys - 53.70%
Harry (Not a wheeler dealer) Redknapp - 49.31%

Using the power of riffmatic, see if you can calculate who is the worst manager we have had since Wanda Ramos back in 2008 (28.57%). I will give you a clue, it is not Poch, Tim, AVB or Harry.

 

[Dorset]

Stat Three

How do the five current and previous managers rate on the Cuntometer? Using a scientific, peer reviewed algorithm we can see the evidence. This is a chart so it must be true.

Euerka! The dark blue slice of the pie is the bit that is the soggy pastry, no apples, curdled cream Moronio slice.

If you prefer a Stick Chart:

 

[Havocc]

Is there much of a difference if we use point totals instead of wins?

 

[Sneeky]

Sugar vs Levy stats for the cunt of all cunts Mr D ?

 

[J.spurs]

Is there much of a difference if we use point totals instead of wins?

Poch's PPG is 1.89, Mourinho's is 1.69.

 

[Yid]

Is there a cuntometer.....?

This will surely be conclusive evidence.

 

[J.spurs]

Is there a cuntometer.....?

This will surely be conclusive evidence.

Applying the cuntometer to Mourinho is pointless. This is a man whose cuntness is so powerful that it threatens to rupture the space-time cuntinuum.

 

[spurious]

 

[Don Diaz]

Excellent, (mostly) factual evidence base work @Dorset , slight margin for error in the Cuntish statistics. a little too low for Mourinho, a little high for Poch and Harry.

 

[USspur]

I feel like this belongs in here

 

[Dorset]

I feel like this belongs in here

I think we might have all noticed that. Maybe the moronic one thinks his football genius and charisma is enough,?

 

[Dorset]

Update on PL Win Percentages

Joe Moron-io - 46.81%
Mauricio Pochettino - 55.94%
Tim Sherwood - 59.09%
Andrew Village Boys - 53.70%
Harry (Not a wheeler dealer) Redknapp - 49.31%

 

[Dorset]

PL Win Percentage down to 46.00% now.

Does anyone remember when we were lower than 6th after 24 games? It was in 2009, 12 years ago. Now we are in a battle with the goons to hold onto 9th place. Moroni-io out.

 

[Yid]

I'd love to view the twitrersphere meltdown about how this twunt has ruined our club as a Chav sleeper agent... alas, I can't as I don't have any of that antisocial shite anymore... I bet it's fun to read tho...!

 

[Yid]

 

[J.spurs]

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for one brief, blissful half-seconds I saw the words “Tottenham sack” and thought the day of jubilee had arrived.

 

[BrooklynYid]

It's one thing to sack him, it's quite another to bring in a capable manager who can get this club back on track. Really, top manager would want this job? All the pressures of a bid club with the budget of small one. The luster is fading really fast.

 

[Style And Glory]

for one brief, blissful half-seconds I saw the words “Tottenham sack” and thought the day of jubilee had arrived.

Had the same effect on me.

I would bet that this team, even under Harry simply putting his vaccine jabbed arm around the players & asking them to run around a bit, would outperform what Jose's providing us.

Sadly, a lot of firsts for Jose at Spurs:
first loss vs so & so club (can't recall which one)
first time losing back to back home matches
first time losing 3 league matches in a row
first time Spurs have lost 3 matches in a row since 2012
first time his side has conceded in the opening 5 mins of both halves in a single PL game

That's just off the top of my head.

Seems obvious that this has been the greatest challenge of his career AND/OR he no longer has what it takes to succeed. Only time will tell (but how much time is the question).

 

[Dorset]

"Mine and my coaching staff’s methods are second to nobody in the world"

'Second to nobody': Mourinho defends coaching methods after Spurs defeat

José Mourinho insisted his coaching methods are still the best in the world after Tottenham’s dismal form continued with a 2-1 defeat against West Ham

www.theguardian.com

In the world of cognitive dissonance where Brexit is a good thing, Donald Trump is a Christian saviour and the Dunning Kruger effect rules - then yes, spot on Moron-io. Like the World beating bollocks of Johnson which conveniently ignores the economic disaster and Covid deaths, which to be fair actually are World beating, Spurs are not actually 9th in the Premier League that is fake news. All you need to do is to ignore the games we lost or drew because ..... well, just because, then Spurs have a 100% win rate!

The mighty Moron-io has triumphed against the giants of Football like Wycombe Wanderers, RZ Pellets WAC, Brentford , Ludogrets, Maccabi Haifa and of course the super-team Marine. Maybe we ask too much of a manager, expecting wins against great teams like Wolves, West Ham, Fulham, Crystal Palace and Brighton is just too much to demand? How can we demand exciting, entertaining football when Moron-io is providing this magnificent 100% (in the games we didn't lose or draw) winning run? We should be reasonable and just enjoy the magnificent success Jose is giving us and just like the fabulous benefits of Brexit now being enjoyed by everyone, and the World beating Covid death rates just celebrate this great new age and realise just how lucky we are to have this man safeguarding the traditions of our great team.

In the words of our dear leader Daniel Kim Jong Levy - 'my goal line bar is the longest in Europe', just think about that for a moment before you start to complain about the manager or the magnificent (excluding games that we lost or drew) results - 'the longest bar in Europe', they'll never sing that!

 

[Dorset]