Norwich (A) PL Sunday 22nd May

[USspur]

No lasagna all week, please.

 

[Dorset]

I am proper nervous now! Remember the 2016 season? Back in the olden days when the bastards always finished above us and jabbered on in their Woolwich accents about St Totteringham's Day. All we had to do in the last game of the season, to finish above the fucking Goons, was to get a draw against already relegated Newcastle. I remember listening to the game on the radio as the cunts scored more and more goals against us and we lost the fucker 5-1.

I hope Don Conte is making sure that any casualness or lack of effort will be punished - horses heads in the bed, kneecappings, really bad things. We need to win this by at least 2 goals - both scored by Sonny, then we can all look back on the season and say 'How the actual fuck did that happen? We were fucked into total fuckness, pathetic load of old bollox for half the season - and we're in the Champions League and Sonny gets the Golden Boot'. I might be drinking heavily on Sunday. Not too heavily, I don't really do that anymore cos I'd probably die, but more than usual.

 

[Havocc]

 

[Don Diaz]

No lasagna all week, please.

Stay away from Delia recipes.........

 

[ClemFandango]

So all we have to do is hope the Chavs lose and beat Norwich 19-0 and third place is ours.

Clearly this is what is going to happen

 

[Dorset]

So all we have to do is hope the Chavs lose and beat Norwich 19-0 and third place is ours.

Clearly this is what is going to happen

That's ridiculous, the chavs are going to lose 9-0 and we are going to win 10-0, duh, obvs innit.

Pass it to Sonny, pass the fucker to Sonny, is what I will be shouting on Sunday

 

[Style And Glory]

Stay away from Delia recipes.........

Some rumours about an illness going through the Spurs camp.

 

[spurious]

Some rumours about an illness going through the Spurs camp

Fuck me (us)! Here's hoping it's either bullshit, or recycled news from last match. Apparently that's why Kulu didn't start against Burnley. Lloris was ill, too, but thankfully so was Gollini.

I have eaten dodgy leftovers from the fridge many times, on the principle that it hurts me more to throw out food than to actually get sick, but nobody's relying on me to provide an escape from reality. For fuck's sakes, feed them nothing but boiled chicken, unsauced pasta, and fresh fruit grown at the Hotspur Way orchard under the chairman's watchful eye.

 

[Yid]

Monkey Pox is Running through Hotspur way...!!!

 

[BrooklynYid]

Kane has fallen ill. They are saying he'll be fine but we know how that goes. I expect he won't be fit to start because, well, Spurs. Hopefully no one else comes down with it, but we should have enough to get by a bunch of canaries regardless. Right? Right? This all might be too much to watch.

 

[Glenjamin]

Footie players are a bunch of wimps.

"Oooo noooo I've got a sore tummy from eating kale and pomegranate seeds".

Need to get 10 pints of Guinness, a round of jaegerbombs and few slices of pizza dropped on the floor into them once a month. Toughen them up!

 

[Yid]

FUCK ALL THIS NEGATIVITY.....

WE'LL KICK THESE CARROTT CRUCHING IN-BREADS IN THEIR CUNTS AND SEND THEM CRYING BACK TO THE CHUMPIONSHIT WHERE THEY BELONG...!

WE'LL ALL THEN DANCE ROUND WHILE SINGING DEROGATORY SONGS ABOUT THE WANKY CUCKOO SHIT CUNT SCUMMERS NOT HAVING A ST TOTTERINGS DAY AND THE MIGHTY SPURS BEING THE PRIDE OF NORTH LONDON FOREVER MORE...!!!

COYS.

 

[Dorset]

Getting nervous now. We have all been in this position a million times - the last game of the season, just a point needed to put the goons in there place and then....

Luckily I am not superstitious and I don't believe in fate. I have kicked a black cat, thrown a load of salt on the floor, opened an umbrella in the house, smashed a few mirrors, walked under a ladder, walked past a 1c coin on the floor without picking it up (no, I didn't, you know I would never turn down free money),kicked the fucking cat again - I hate cats. So if we don't get the point you can blame me, or Levy, I always blame him for everything.

I am expecting a nice win, at least 2 goals for Sonny to give him the well deserved Golden Boot. I bet those dirty Dippers bring Salah when they cheat a penalty! So, Sonny better go for the double hat-trick just to make sure. I'm sure Harry will be doing all he can to let him score all the goals. Has anyone ever scored a double HT for us? I remember JD got 5 against Wigan, so there could be record just begging to be broken!

 

[ClemFandango]

I must confess to a few jitters as well. On paper, this is as much of a foregone conclusion as you'll ever see but we've had these before.

I think that if we can get an early goal, or even two, then things will calm down a little bit and they can hopefully try and secure the Golden Boot for Sonny as well.

If we get to about half an hour in and we haven't scored then I think my nerves will start to shred just a teeny bit.

 

[Dorset]

• 1 Lloris
• 6 D Sánchez
• 15 Dier
• 33 Davies
• 12 Emerson Royal
• 30 Bentancur
• 5 Højbjerg
• 19 R Sessegnon
• 21 Kulusevski
• 7 Son Heung-Min
• 10 Kane

Substitutes​

• 8 Winks
• 14 Rodon
• 22 Gollini
• 23 Bergwijn
• 27 Lucas Moura
• 42 White
• 44 Scarlett
• 45 Devine
• 51 Craig

 

[USspur]

Let’s put them to the sword early and enjoy a nice walk in the park with Sonny winning the golden boot

 

[Don Diaz]

Just win, don’t care how, who plays or by how many. Just do what we need, no excuses

 

[ClemFandango]

Sonny is probably looking at him thinking “Cunt” ..

 

[ClemFandango]

Get in. That’s what we needed.

 

[Havocc]

Considering Krul usually plays like a god against us, it’s nice to see him screw up

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

See you cunts in the Champions League.

 

[ClemFandango]

Bit ragged in places but a deserved lead. I think we'll need one more (at least) before I can start to relax.

 

[Dorset]

Bit ragged in places but a deserved lead. I think we'll need one more (at least) before I can start to relax.

Yep, ragged especially on the right. I don't care how much anybody loves that Emmerson bloke, he is a lazy git. How many times does he stroll back casually to 'defend', not that he does too much of that, the left side is nearly always wide open for an opposition attack and his passing is pants. He makes me fucking itch.

Rant over, jolly good goals from Kulu and Harry, splendid work chaps Now is the time for all balls to be played to Sonny who should not, never, ever be more than 1cm inside our half.

 

[Yid]

We don't need to play well to beat these... and we're not.

They're woeful.

Sonny has to get on the ball more.

Sanchez is terrifying... I just can't relax when he plays.

 

[ClemFandango]

Champions League here we fucking come!

 

[Dorset]

Sonny has had at least 3 nailed on chances. Kulu tripped himself up, proper Spursy and Tim is being Kruel. Still plenty of time for a couple of Sonny spectaculars?

 

[Dorset]

Nice one Sonny, let's have another one.

 

[ClemFandango]

Come on Sonny

 

[Dorset]

Fucking magic! What a goal to win the shiney boot with!

 

[ClemFandango]

Wow! What a way to win the Golden Boot. Let’s rub it in with a hat trick