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Plans are like ice cream

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Likes
1,313
#1
You make your plans and they look all tasty, sitting there in a lovely crisp waffle cone with chocolate at the bottom, a nice coating of maple syrup and a flake - nice you think I'll enjoy eating that. Then something happens, the phone rings or some religious wanker knocks on your door and by the time you get back the fucker has melted.

I had my plans for the NLD all sorted, ticket bought, trains no problem, Mrs D would drive me to the station, I'd catch the 06:30 and get to Wembley with just enough time for a quick pint, then maybe a couple more after the game.

The ice cream started to melt when the bastard train company decided to put on a bus service for part of the journey, adding 2 1/2 hours, bollocks, there was no way I'd get there on time. So, Mrs D agreed to drive me to the station after the engineering works, an hour and 15 minutes away, sorted!

Then the ice cream melted a bit more when we heard from the father-in-law's care home that he was in a bad way and probably wouldn't last the week. So, Mrs D obviously had to drive up to the far North yesterday, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere, no car, fucked. t We are sort of hoping that her dad slips away soon, he's a tough, independent northerner and the last couple of months have reduced him to being like a baby, he can't do anything for himself and he has had enough, he's 94 so a good innings, he's ready to go.

OK back to the important bit, there must be another way of getting to Wembley I thought - and there was! I could get a £30 each way taxi to a station in Somerset, then get 5 trains that would get me to Wembley just in time, OK I'll risk that, what about getting home? Well the engineering works really kicked in, if I caught a train at Waterloo at 8.00pm I would get home at half past one in the fucking morning and the ticket would cost me £80, double fare on the taxi as well!

Now I know that the god of fucking-up-plans, really doesn't want me to go the fucking NLD! The last two missed because of health niggles, now this cunt. I could not face an 11 hour round trip, that would be totally fucked up if one of 3 train changes was not on time and a cost of £170 just for taxis and train. No way Pedro, another heart attack was odds on favourite if I attempted that!

So, yet again I'll be watching on the telly. I could walk to the pub to watch it, but the nearest fucker is five miles away, maybe not.

Don't make plans, they fuck you up the backdoor.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Likes
3,623
#2
You make your plans and they look all tasty, sitting there in a lovely crisp waffle cone with chocolate at the bottom, a nice coating of maple syrup and a flake - nice you think I'll enjoy eating that. Then something happens, the phone rings or some religious wanker knocks on your door and by the time you get back the fucker has melted.

I had my plans for the NLD all sorted, ticket bought, trains no problem, Mrs D would drive me to the station, I'd catch the 06:30 and get to Wembley with just enough time for a quick pint, then maybe a couple more after the game.

The ice cream started to melt when the bastard train company decided to put on a bus service for part of the journey, adding 2 1/2 hours, bollocks, there was no way I'd get there on time. So, Mrs D agreed to drive me to the station after the engineering works, an hour and 15 minutes away, sorted!

Then the ice cream melted a bit more when we heard from the father-in-law's care home that he was in a bad way and probably wouldn't last the week. So, Mrs D obviously had to drive up to the far North yesterday, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere, no car, fucked. t We are sort of hoping that her dad slips away soon, he's a tough, independent northerner and the last couple of months have reduced him to being like a baby, he can't do anything for himself and he has had enough, he's 94 so a good innings, he's ready to go.

OK back to the important bit, there must be another way of getting to Wembley I thought - and there was! I could get a £30 each way taxi to a station in Somerset, then get 5 trains that would get me to Wembley just in time, OK I'll risk that, what about getting home? Well the engineering works really kicked in, if I caught a train at Waterloo at 8.00pm I would get home at half past one in the fucking morning and the ticket would cost me £80, double fare on the taxi as well!

Now I know that the god of fucking-up-plans, really doesn't want me to go the fucking NLD! The last two missed because of health niggles, now this cunt. I could not face an 11 hour round trip, that would be totally fucked up if one of 3 train changes was not on time and a cost of £170 just for taxis and train. No way Pedro, another heart attack was odds on favourite if I attempted that!

So, yet again I'll be watching on the telly. I could walk to the pub to watch it, but the nearest fucker is five miles away, maybe not.

Don't make plans, they fuck you up the backdoor.
missed you today,hope it doesnt get too bad for your missus.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Likes
1,313
#3
missed you today,hope it doesnt get too bad for your missus.
Ta buddy, I think she's happier being up in the grim north being busy sorting out stuff, looking after her step-mum, and spending time with her dad, luckily his marbles are still mostly there and she's getting some quality time with him. I don't think she's too busted up as we thought the old bugger was going to die 15 years ago when he had a stroke just after the mother in law died and he pretty much gave up - but after a while he met a really nice lady, remarried after a few years and has had a second life, result!

He's being really well looked after in a brilliant care home, those fuckwit newspapers and media only report on bad care homes, what a fucked up world we live in when folks only want to read about the bad coppers, kids, hospitals, doctors, immigrants, Brexit etc. 99% of folks and life is sweet as fuck, but that don't sell papers do it?

I know a lot of people are worried about bunging their old folks into homes, cos they see all that shit on the TV and in the papers, just like they believe all the other shit those poxy rags tell them., but if they stop being cunta and actually think about stuff they will realise:
  • Immigrants are nice, hard working contributors to our country - most of the staff at the care home are Euros just like the ones who saved my life after my heart attack were.
  • Care homes do actually care.
  • The NHS saves thousands of lives every day, yeah you might have to wait a few hours if you're not dying, tough!
  • Plod keep the vast majority of us safe from the evildoers and are not corrupt.
  • Kids are fucking brilliant and do brilliant things every day.
  • Jack Wilshere is a cunt.
Whoops, I might have gone a bit political there, oh well. life is political innit? Well it is if you give a fuck!
 

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