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Swansea - A (FA Cup Quarter Final) 12:15 Sat 17th March 2018

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
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#1
Swansea.jpg


Getting excited again now! This is a must win, just like the 8 remaining Premier League games. Swansea are on a really good home run, Swansea have won their last 4 matches against Liverpool, Arsenal, Burnley and West Ham. We probably shouldn't get too caught up in the Jordan Ayew suspension, he only scored 2 of the 9 goals they scored in those 4 latest home wins, and one of those was a penalty, Ki and Clucas got 2 each, King, Van de Hoorn and Mawson were the other scorers. They are not a one player team.

Taking the FA Cup home with us next season would be flippin' splendid, we haven't won this shiney-shiney since 1991 - it's time it came to North London again.

Go big Mr Poch, go strong, another performance like Sunday please - except you can skip the first 15 minute if you want, that would be nice! COYS!

Swansea vs Tottenham Hotspur history:

45 Meetings in all competitions
In all the 45 matches Swansea City have played against Tottenham Hotspur they have won 8 lost 28 and drawn 9 matches.
Their first match was in the League Division Two on Saturday, 10 November 1928. Swansea City were playing at home that day and the final score was Swansea City ( Swansea Town ) 4 Tottenham Hotspur 0 .​
The latest meeting between these two teams was a Premier League game on Tuesday, 2 January 2018, the score was Swansea City 0 Tottenham Hotspur 2.​
Highest Goals in Game - 9
League Division Two, Saturday, 2 November 1935, Tottenham Hotspur 7 Swansea City 2
League Division Two
22 matches played, Swansea City won 4, lost 13 and drew 5.​
Premier League
14 matches played, Swansea City won 0, lost 11 and drew 3.​
League Cup
5 matches played, Swansea City won 2, lost 2 and drew 1.​
League Division One
4 matches played, Swansea City won 2, lost 2 and drew 0.​
 
Last edited:
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#2
Who the hell knows what is going to happen at 12.15 on Saturday.....ITK tell me it could go one of 3 ways, so that's helpful. We are all hoping of course that they are focussing on the league and will play a 'squad' team....nah, it's the FA Cup and they will be as up for it as we are. I expect two strong teams and a tight game. Our chaps will be rested after Bournemouth and will eventually overpower the plucky Swans with superior skill, fitness and movement because they'll be knackered after holding Huddersfield to a draw with 10 men.

It would be handy if we didn't all charge forward for the first 10 minutes leaving only Davinson at the back, but I'll leave the tactics to Poch, he seems to know what he's doing. A bit of dynamic switching around at the front, Christian controlling things with Mousa, and Eric or Victor mopping up in front of the back four, with the ever reliable Serge (just joking) Tripps please and Ben on the the other side, will do nicely for close but deserved 2-1 win. Eriksen and Son with the goals.

Please win, secretly we don't care how or by how many, just win.
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#3
Who the hell knows what is going to happen at 12.15 on Saturday.....ITK tell me it could go one of 3 ways, so that's helpful. We are all hoping of course that they are focussing on the league and will play a 'squad' team....nah, it's the FA Cup and they will be as up for it as we are. I expect two strong teams and a tight game. Our chaps will be rested after Bournemouth and will eventually overpower the plucky Swans with superior skill, fitness and movement because they'll be knackered after holding Huddersfield to a draw with 10 men.

It would be handy if we didn't all charge forward for the first 10 minutes leaving only Davinson at the back, but I'll leave the tactics to Poch, he seems to know what he's doing. A bit of dynamic switching around at the front, Christian controlling things with Mousa, and Eric or Victor mopping up in front of the back four, with the ever reliable Serge (just joking) Tripps please and Ben on the the other side, will do nicely for close but deserved 2-1 win. Eriksen and Son with the goals.

Please win, secretly we don't care how or by how many, just win.
Your tactical assessment is top notch! Of course we can't leave Davinson all on his todd, he's only 21, he would be scared. I've been to fucking Swansea and I know what them taffs are like they'll creep up behind him and attack him with leaks, so him and Hugo of course will have to join in the charge. We won't need a keeper of any defenders because we will be attacking the doodahs out of them and everyone will get a goal, expect Hugo, unless of course he heads one in because he kicks like a girl.

For those less well travelled folks, Swansea is in a little English county called Wales, don't bother going there. Cardiff is well nasty as well, that's in Wales. Cader Idris is quite nice, Welsh people don't go there, it's too high, I have climbed that several times, it's near a place called Dolgellau - they pronounce it Dolgchchchchceeethhhcccchhllllllllly. If you must go to Wales, make sure you leave by nightfall and don't bother the sheep, they get touchy about that, best not to bother and go to Cornwall or Devon instead, they're quite nice, Dorset is not for you townies, it's a local county for local people.
 
Last edited:
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

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#4
Your tactical assessment is top notch! Of course we can't leave Davinson all on his todd, he's only 21, he would be scared. I've been to fucking Swansea and I know what them taffs are like they'll creep up behind him and attack him with leaks, so him and Hugo of course will have to join in the charge. We won't need a keeper of any defenders because we will be attacking the doodahs out of them and everyone will get a goal, expect Hugo, unless of course he heads one in because he kicks like a girl.

For those less well travelled folks, Swansea is in a little English county called Wales, don't bother going there. Cardiff is well nasty as well, that's in Wales. Cader Idris is quite nice, Welsh people don't go there, it's too high, I have climbed that several times, it's near a place called Dolgellau - they pronounce it Dolgchchchchceeethhhcccchhllllllllly. If you must go to Wales, make sure you leave by nightfall and don't bother the sheep, they get touchy about that, best not to bother and go to Cornwall or Devon instead, they're quite nice, Dorset is not for you townies, it's a local county for local people.
Locals like you innit guv!
 
Yid

Yid

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#5
They'll wanna play rugby init boyo...!!!

I'm going for 27-14 with us getting a bonus point or some egg chasing shit like that.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

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#7
TEAM NEWS | Mauricio Pochettino had confirmed Toby Alderweireld has returned to training on Tuesday and has a chance of playing against Swansea on Saturday in the FA Cup.
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#8
TEAM NEWS | Mauricio Pochettino had confirmed Toby Alderweireld has returned to training on Tuesday and has a chance of playing against Swansea on Saturday in the FA Cup.
Good news, he could play 3 at the back or give Davinson a rest. I wonder who will be in goal? Be nice for Michel, but Poch doesn't do nice, and we need to win. I wonder if Eric's elbow is better? all these things to worry about, who'd be a football manager eh? Not that other Mauricio Pellegrino...he wouldn't.....
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#9
That clever new Swansea manager who we like and talks a lot said this....

“But as I have said before, what matters is what happens on the pitch. Two teams play against each other and we will try to exploit the few weak points they have.

What weak points do you think he means?....a straight through ball when we have 9 men up pressing? that Tammy Abrahams (Chelsea loan) better not score.
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#10
Poch has got it sussed -

"It would be fantastic for the players, for us and for the fans to be involved in the semi-final but we need to understand that first of all, we need to beat Swansea. "I'm always positive and we go there to win."

Which is lucky, I wonder if he knows - because there are no replays from this round on. Extra time and penalties, have we practised those this week?
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#11
Poch has got it sussed -

"It would be fantastic for the players, for us and for the fans to be involved in the semi-final but we need to understand that first of all, we need to beat Swansea. "I'm always positive and we go there to win."

Which is lucky, I wonder if he knows - because there are no replays from this round on. Extra time and penalties, have we practised those this week?
Extra time would probably be OK, we are mostly a really fit team these days, but penalties? If it goes to penalties I'm going to call the fucking ambulance with the cardio gear before they start and jump the queue. We'll win this in 90 no worries, Sonny will get 2, one of them Wanyama net-breakers, Deli and Erik will chip in and maybe Super Jan will nod one in from a corner, give them a consolation prize of a Serge own goal from a throw-in, sorted, 6-1.
 
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

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#12
Extra time would probably be OK, we are mostly a really fit team these days, but penalties? If it goes to penalties I'm going to call the fucking ambulance with the cardio gear before they start and jump the queue. We'll win this in 90 no worries, Sonny will get 2, one of them Wanyama net-breakers, Deli and Erik will chip in and maybe Super Jan will nod one in from a corner, give them a consolation prize of a Serge own goal from a throw-in, sorted, 6-1.
6-1 wicked but of course we need to add 70% to that figure cos we're Spurs so we'll win by... er hold on
o_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_O

10.2 - 1.

Nice, well done Daniel reinventing the rules like that for us all to benefit.
 
BrooklynYid

BrooklynYid

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#13
I predicted 1-5 to Spurs. Swansea will be lucky if they can walk from this match with their dignity in tact. FUCK THEM! Respectfully, of course.
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#14
6-1 wicked but of course we need to add 70% to that figure cos we're Spurs so we'll win by... er hold on
o_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_O

10.2 - 1.

Nice, well done Daniel reinventing the rules like that for us all to benefit.
As I am a sesnible, mature grown up I won't type 'Fuck Right Off!' 28 times, once for each of those infantile emojis, as I am in Javascript mode today, yes, it's true, I'm actually doing some work, here's a bit of code for you:

<script>
var msg = ["Fuck","Right","Off!"];
var geezer="Motspur Hotspur";
var emojiCount=28
var insult ="cunt"
for (i = 0; i < emojiCount; i++)
{
document.write( msg[0]+ " " + msg[1] + " " + msg[2] + "<br>")
}
if (emojiCount==0) {
document.write( "No emojis so " +geezer + " is not a " + insult )
}
else {
document.write( "<p>" + emojiCount + " emojis - so " + geezer + " is a total emoji waving " + insult + "</p>" )
}
</script>
 
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

Player in Training.
Likes
198
#15
As I am a sesnible, mature grown up I won't type 'Fuck Right Off!' 28 times, once for each of those infantile emojis, as I am in Javascript mode today, yes, it's true, I'm actually doing some work, here's a bit of code for you:

<script>
var msg = ["Fuck","Right","Off!",];
var geezer="Motspur Hotspur";
var emojiCount=28
var insult ="cunt"
for (i = 0; i < emojiCount; i++)
{
document.write( msg[0]+ " " + msg[1] + " " + msg[2] + "<br>")
}
if (emojiCount==0) {
document.write( "No emojis so " +geezer + " is not a " + insult )
}
else {
document.write( "<p>" + emojiCount + " emojis - so " + geezer + " is a total emoji waving " + insult + "</p>" )
}
</script>
@Dorset you might have at least styled it with a bit of CSS!

Love it, it actually works as well! For all those none coded types here's what appeared when I cut it into an html template.
 

Attachments

Style And Glory

Style And Glory

Player in Training.
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231
#16
Extra time would probably be OK, we are mostly a really fit team these days, but penalties? If it goes to penalties I'm going to call the fucking ambulance with the cardio gear before they start and jump the queue. We'll win this in 90 no worries, Sonny will get 2, one of them Wanyama net-breakers, Deli and Erik will chip in and maybe Super Jan will nod one in from a corner, give them a consolation prize of a Serge own goal from a throw-in, sorted, 6-1.
Unfortunately, Serge's own goal from a throw in wouldn't count. If that happened, Swansea would get a corner kick. His throw in's are poor, but you'll have to come up with another scenario for Serge.:)
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
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1,209
#17
@Dorset you might have at least styled it with a bit of CSS!

Love it, it actually works as well! For all those none coded types here's what appeared when I cut it into an html template.
CSS? That's fucking styling, I leave that to the girly artsy types, I write code like a real geezer, not that fucking Javascript is proper code but it's what people want these days so I have to turn off my brain and write that stuff - and of course it works.

Actually I like Javascript these days, it has grown up, you can do really bad things with it.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
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1,209
#18
Unfortunately, Serge's own goal from a throw in wouldn't count. If that happened, Swansea would get a corner kick. His throw in's are poor, but you'll have to come up with another scenario for Serge.:)
.. a wicked deflection off of a passing seagull onto a player then into the goal.
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

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#24
I don't understand our line up? Why have Mousa and Dele on the bench?? It's VAR as well could.be an interesting 2 hours....
 
Dorset

Dorset

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#29
Half time thoughts:

  • Swansea are really lucky not to be 4 down
  • Nathan Dyer is a cunt
  • VAR is a cunt*
  • Lucas Moura makes my knees go trembly
* I have worked out how VAR works! The ref bells the VAR man, who pokes his guide dog with his white stick, if the dog barks once the goal is is allowed, twice and its a goal. There may have been a blade of grass on Sonny's foot that was a micron offside, but for ferks ferking sake, that can't be given as offside can it? Cracking goal whatever the VAR geezer says.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
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1,209
#30
Fantastic Goal, I stood up and applauded which was a bit silly in my front room but.....
The brilliant save by the Swansea keeper onto the bar would have made even me stand up, and my knees are hurting like fuck. I laughed at Erik's goal the keeper went from hero to zero.
 

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