The Cooking Thread, yes, cooking...

[Motspur Hotspur]

In light of not being able to go up to the Lane and visit the Brown Eagle for some of their amazing goat curry I've decided that tonight will be brown eagle 'jafaican' curry night, I say jafaican, because I'm not from the West Indies and apart from my Levy Roots cook book this is a total leap of faith! I am totally faking it, bit like that tv series from the 00s...

Got some left over lamb from Sunday + juices and a bit of organic beef ready to go plus a jar of Dunns River All Purpose Seasoning, what can possibly go wrong. Get it cooking in it's own juices, add spices and herb - coriander etc - right well I'm off, I'll let you know how it goes...

 

[Don Diaz]

In light of not being able to go up to the Lane and visit the Brown Eagle for some of their amazing goat curry I've decided that tonight will be brown eagle 'jafaican' curry night, I say jafaican, because I'm not from the West Indies and apart from my Levy Roots cook book this is a total leap of faith! I am totally faking it, bit like that tv series from the 00s...

Got some left over lamb from Sunday + juices and a bit of organic beef ready to go plus a jar of Dunns River All Purpose Seasoning, what can possibly go wrong. Get it cooking in it's own juices, add spices and herb - coriander etc - right well I'm off, I'll let you know how it goes...

Congrats mate, go for it and keep us posted. Just one thing..........coriander = devils food.

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

An hour in and the house smells of marvellous lamb chugging away in it's own gravy, beef doesn't really smell as much so that's just in there but hey, you can eat it! Herbs chopped, Coriander, the king of herbs (stalks and all),carrot, some bell pepper and a bit of left over celery - basically bits I had left from other dinners. I haven't even got to the main spicey bit yet only the premixed meat and it smelling glorious...

 

[Yid]

Maaaaan I'm hungry now...

I love a bit of cooking and if I don't do it, we don't eat... my Mrs is utter dog shit and has successfully ruined everything she has tried to cook.

Good luck bro, keep us posted.

 

[Don Diaz]

Maaaaan I'm hungry now...

I love a bit of cooking and if I don't do it, we don't eat... my Mrs is utter dog shit and has successfully ruined everything she has tried to cook.

Good luck bro, keep us posted.

You mean .....Naaaaaaan!!! are you doing bread to go with it Al?

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

You mean .....Naaaaaaan!!! are you doing bread to go with it Al?

There was bread but I didn't make it, I can but couldn't be arsed. So, drum roll please...

It was good, could have been better (and I've cooked better) but the little one is a right little whinger where any form of spices are concerned so I played safe (mistake),the good news is there's loads left despite me trying to finish it all off in one sitting so tomorrow after it's had a day to mature I'll fire it back up and make it nuclear.

End result is a big, fat, full lockdown belly and a smug sense of satisfaction. Can't wait to get to the Brown Eagle for the real thing though!

 

[Yid]

Great work mate and it'll 100% be better 2nd time round.

I made a teriyaki sauce tonight and ran it though a flaked side of salmon and some egg noodles...!!!

De-fucking-lish...!!!

 

[Sneeky]

Fuck off you bunch of Celia’s...you’ll be discussing which wine should be served at room temperature next.
Oh and Piers Morgan can fuck off too.
chin chin...what what

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

Fuck off you bunch of Celia’s...you’ll be discussing which wine should be served at room temperature next.
Oh and Piers Morgan can fuck off too.
chin chin...what what

What was that? Cheese on toast for dinner tonight? ok ...

 

[Sneeky]

Well I need to swallow my inner Varna and join in with all this cooking stuff,
had some shitty blood test and need a lifestyle change. Apparently im pre diabetic, close to kidney disease, cardio vascular disease and going bold…cunts.
So what’s on the menu ?
no sugars, starch, minimum dairy and no more head and shoulders.
take away menus on the fire to be replaced by some keto fucking diet bollocks.
getting old stinks…and that reminds me I don’t like cabbage either.
Been sucking chewing gum just to get a sugar rush…I’m ready for the mono-slipper and to be wet wipe cleansed.

i need one of those spiritual one posters to show me the pathway…

 

[Glenjamin]

Well I need to swallow my inner Varna and join in with all this cooking stuff,
had some shitty blood test and need a lifestyle change. Apparently im pre diabetic, close to kidney disease, cardio vascular disease and going bold…cunts.
So what’s on the menu ?
no sugars, starch, minimum dairy and no more head and shoulders.
take away menus on the fire to be replaced by some keto fucking diet bollocks.
getting old stinks…and that reminds me I don’t like cabbage either.
Been sucking chewing gum just to get a sugar rush…I’m ready for the mono-slipper and to be wet wipe cleansed.

i need one of those spiritual one posters to show me the pathway…

I'm no expert but I go with an 80% DES diet. DON'T EAT SHIT.

I wouldn't cut anything out completely. If you can't enjoy food what's the point.

Few pointers

Write down the foods you like, figure out why they are bad and adjust. Chips for example.
Shite - The ones in a box from Tesco for the oven are fried, caked in salt n fuck knows what else.
Good - Buy a bag of Mari Piper's, slice to your ideal chip size. Sprinkle salt pepper n a bit of oil. Oven for half hour and you have 'healthy' chips.

If it comes in a box with a plastic wrapper and goes in a microwave it's of suspect health benefit.

Sauces are usually full of shit so reduce use or find alternatives.

Things I've bought to help me

Nutribullet or alternative. Bit of protein powder and loads frozen fruit and u can make some tasty shakes. Add honey etc. Good sugar.

My absolute biggest game changer... BBQing. I love to BBQ.

Great things
- BBQING is manly as fuck!!!!!!
- Don't need oil or very little
- chicken is best over fire and good protein
- Buy a rotisserie attachment and a basket and you can just setup and fuck off watch TV if u can't be arsed going full man mode. Or go for a walk since this is about health
- you will make a new friend..... The butcher

Finally. Don't completely cut out crap. The 20%. Just give yourself days you have it.

Finally finally. Scoop of ice cream with fresh berries. Good and bad.

The key is. If it feels like a diet it won't work. It needs to be a lifestyle.

Good luck.

 

[Yid]

Good advice Glen.

I too have gone full twatbag on the health after stepping on the scales boxing day and tipping in at 125 kilo...

I'd stopped running, kept eating like a runner and Christmas was the last cheese straw.

None of my clobber fitted my fat arse and I had to buy new clothes just to go to work.

So I decided there and then to get fit and change my lifestyle.

I went kind of keto until tea time.

Wake up and only eat non processed fruits and veggies through the day (how dificult is it to actually eat an apple, orange and a banana...?). I usually fast until around 10/11'ish and make sure I bang at least a litre of water down my neck prior to this... this is important as water is thermogenic helping metabolise fat and flush your renal system.

Train at lunch time averaging around 800 cals burnt (this isn't essential but my job is massively sedentary now). It helps if you have a 28 year old royal marine in your office to chase, if not just find someone to share the commitment with and then it's not just you you're letting down when you want to sack it off. DONT EVER SACK IT OFF... MAKE IT A HABIT. Get to 100 days and you'll struggle to stop... it works.

I find audiobooks a phenomenal motivator. I love a story so an hour listening to a great story while I walk or run is a great motivator for me to commit to a routine.

More fruit and veg in the afternoon, maybe some lean protein after my workout such as cold meats or a tin of fish, but no shitty bread or stodgy carbs.

Then I cook a normal tea for the family, I try to pack it out with veg I like and make any sauces myself so I know exactly what's in them. Hand held blender is essential.

This way I can easily track every single ingredient/calorie I consume. People always say "isn't it a ball ache" and yeah, it takes a bit of effort but it's just another app on your phone and it works superbly.

MyFitnessPal scans the Barcodes of the food you consume and builds up your nutritional diary. You can adjust your calorific target in line with your goals and if you pair it with a smart watch it will import your exercise to give you the additional calories you have earned but still within your daily goals.

I'm now at 110 kilo and have just cycled over 200 miles in 4 days.

I feel great and only regret letting myself become a fat lazy cunt in the first place.

Getting old is inevitable, getting lazy is a choice, getting fat is a consequence of poor lazy choices.

Happy to help any way i can pal.

PS: Atomic habits by James Clear is a great (audio) book by the way...

 

[Dorset]

Well I need to swallow my inner Varna and join in with all this cooking stuff,
had some shitty blood test and need a lifestyle change. Apparently im pre diabetic, close to kidney disease, cardio vascular disease and going bold…cunts.
So what’s on the menu ?
no sugars, starch, minimum dairy and no more head and shoulders.
take away menus on the fire to be replaced by some keto fucking diet bollocks.
getting old stinks…and that reminds me I don’t like cabbage either.
Been sucking chewing gum just to get a sugar rush…I’m ready for the mono-slipper and to be wet wipe cleansed.

i need one of those spiritual one posters to show me the pathway…

You can do it mate. I was 120kgs, 1 totally blocked artery and the other 2 were 70% blocked, pre-diabetic of course, if you are obese and of a certain age then you've either got it or you'll get it tomorrow. Thanks to modern surgery I've now got 2 arteries pumping nicely, the right amount of meds -they are fucking brilliant here in Spain, the cardiologist actually listens and doesn't just give what the computer says. Most importantly I have changed my lifestyle big time. No diets just sensible eating, much less alcohol, I haven't had a hangover for over 5 years now. I now weigh 85kgs, walk or cycle everywhere. I swam 1.2kms today, I couldn't have done 50m a few years ago.

Just do it, be healthy, live long, more importantly live better, living long is bollocks if you need someone to wipe your arse and feel like death frozen over.

Diets are stupid. They are only good for kick-starting wight loss. Keto diets are dangerous long term, you will lose weight but may get cancer, suffer from malnutrition (enough food but not enough nutrients),get heart disease, can fuck up your bones, kidneys, cause hypoglycaemia and a load of other nasty things.

 

[Sneeky]

But my scale says I’m 12 stone,bmi 24 and I’m 3 years younger than actual. I have lost 6lb in 3 days so I don’t want the weight loss. I have Cut out sugar and carbs and have hit the fruit and veg, no processed food at all. Even changed to unsweetened coconut milk. Think I need to balance this out better. Thanks for the tips fella’s,

 

[Sneeky]

 

[Havocc]

ah, a thread for my wife to read