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The Covid 19 Lurgy

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Lets' talk about Coronavirus, or to give it its correct name Covid 19, there are lots of corona viruses (or is it virri? Dunno.) - and apparently according to the internet they have been around longer than humans.

Obviously football is the most important victim of Covid 19, the only silver lining to this dark cloud is that the Dippers might be denied the Premier League title. That would be brilliant, they will really enjoy the feeling of victimisation, they love that innit?

Here on the Costa Del Dorset, the PM has just announced that the feds are going a bit medieval on our bottoms. Everything is now closed apart from businesses selling foodstuffs, pharmacies, tobacconists, suppliers of IT equipment, newsstands, hairdressers and dry cleaners. Bars, restaurants are shut, and we are only allowed to leave our homes to make journeys in order to travel to supermarkets, our jobs, pharmacies, banks, gas stations, and other such essential destinations. Plod and the army have been given powers to be jolly beastly to anybody wandering around without good reason. In the PM's statement there was nothing about being allowed to travel to hospitals and health centres but I think that will be allowed!

Obviously going to the hairdressers is 'essential' in Spain and the PM would not risk the ire of those elegant Spanish ladies by closing their salons. The thing that irks me is that you can walk your fucking dog, but it seems that walking yourself is not allowed. I might risk that one as walking round here is not like strolling up the Ramblas in Barcelona and if you see 4 people it would be a busy day, if you don't hear from me then start a 'Free the Dorset One' campaign please as I will have been nabbed by Plod!

I expect that more countries will follow and soon the whole world will be in some sort of 'lockdown'. You chaps in the UK are lucky as that fat windbag you call PM has showed you how to wash your hands, we have been left to try and work out how to do that ourselves.

My advice as a Trumpian expert is to not be a cunt if you get the sniffles and don't pass it on to other people, stay in bed and binge watch some TV. If your wife/mother or other carer gets the disease then be caring towards their needs and don't ring your assistance bell quite so often, plump up your own pillows if you are able and try and go a few minutes longer between request for food and drinks.

This virus fucker is going to change how we all live, but luckily I am a miserable sociopathic cunt who isn't at all keen on other people and Mrs Dosret says I have been self-isolating for decades - so the new restrictions won't change much in my life. If you are one of those cunts who enjoys social-interaction then fuciking stop it! It's you, you and your socially interacting crowd of germ carriers that are spreading this virus around!
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Like wot I ranted about elsewhere:

I am very fucked off with all the media headlines and so-called news. The seemingly massive rise in Covid 19 sufferers they keep yelling about is easily explained. If you test more people, then you will discover more cases. If 10 people out of 100 are found to be infected one day, then 20 people from 1,000 are diagnosed the next day, then despite what the media tell you that does NOT mean the infection rate has doubled. In that example the infection rate would have gone down from 10% to 2%. OK, that is not realistic, but without knowing the number of tests, the rate of infection is a meaningless non-statistic. Of course the numbers are increasing, but for fuck's fucking sake, the fucking media need to calm the fuck down and start reporting about the massive increase in the number of people who have recovered.

The death rates quoted are also seriously fucked. Most people with Covid 19 will not have been tested or treated by medical services but ALL the deaths will have been recorded. So the 3.75% of deaths is based on the number of people diagnosed with the disease. Simple riffmatic shows that if the BIG number is bigger then the resulting percentage will be smaller, so if the number of infected people is bigger than the 160,000 currently stated (which it absolutely, definitely, without a fucking doubt is),then the around 6,000 deaths will represent a much smaller mortality rate.

The doughnut in the US of A banging on about how he has kept them safe and 'his numbers' are so low also gets right on my thrupnies. The data are sparse but the official figures from the 10th March showed that only 26 in a million people in the USA had been tested, compared to 1,000 per million in Italy. Closing his eyes, sticking his fingers in his ears and singing 'la la la' - look at me everybody I am keeping the US of A safe and our numbers are so not bigly as those nasty Europeans.

Headlines you will not see:

93% Recovery rate!

93% of the people diagnosed with Covid 19 have recovered or are on their way to recovery. Once again this stat is skewed because only those actually tested and diagnosed are included.. If you were to assume that twice as many people had recovered without being tested, because in most victims the symptoms are very mild then the recovery rate would be 96.5%. If 3 times the number of people had recovered without being diagnosed then the recovery rate would be 98%, which getting very close to being a gnat's pube away from being the same as normal, everyday flu.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Greeks are a pretty paranoid bunch when it comes to mass panic,not very stoic.The 20 people here who tragically died in the last month is probably hugely less than those killed in cars,quad bikes or scooters,and they all still ride around without seatbelts,helmets,quite a few never taken a driving test,strange how the modern brain is wired to react to stuff fed via all media.
Stay safe everyone!!
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Greeks are a pretty paranoid bunch when it comes to mass panic,not very stoic.The 20 people here who tragically died in the last month is probably hugely less than those killed in cars,quad bikes or scooters,and they all still ride around without seatbelts,helmets,quite a few never taken a driving test,strange how the modern brain is wired to react to stuff fed via all media.
Stay safe everyone!!
The Spaniels are pretty laid back, apart from the Madrdistas who are all legging it out of Madrid and fleeing to their holiday homes - a few round here but loads just up the road in Gandia and Valencia. The locals are like 'Yeah, so what? It will get sorted tomorrow'.

Covid 19 deaths in comparison to the people dying in the UK because of the shitty air - especially in London, that nobody really gives a fuck about, makes you think?

A new report led by King's and published by the government's Committee on the Medical Effects of Air Pollutants (COMEAP) estimates that between 28,000 and 36,000 people die as a result of air pollution every year in the UK.

Priorities eh? The fucking feds told everyone to buy diesel cars and do a gnats pube more than fuck all to switch to renewable energy. The thing that gets me in Spain is that hardly anybody has solar power installed. Up until last year there was actually a tax on solar energy - the big lecky companies must have had some dirt on the politicians or the pollies had a few shares?
 
J.spurs

J.spurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
On the one hand I've got multiple relatives, including my dad and the in-law, who are very much in the at-risk group, so I'm a bit worried for them. On the other, avoiding interaction with people is very much my M.O., I now have an excuse to be a standoffish prick.

Also, as much as I've hated it for much of this season, I miss football.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
On the one hand I've got multiple relatives, including my dad and the in-law, who are very much in the at-risk group, so I'm a bit worried for them. On the other, avoiding interaction with people is very much my M.O., I now have an excuse to be a standoffish prick.

Also, as much as I've hated it for much of this season, I miss football.
Ok we all love to bash trump and boris,but the leadership here is?non existant? pray the disease away,what the fuck kind of plan is that?Its just the flu insert annual death figure here,its a hoax,and so on,the italians smoke more than us I have seen every type of bury your head in the sand out there.The level of fear in the population is real regardless,that comes from the top and how they are treating this.

Oh yeah people getting pissed off cos others are hoarding toilet rolls and hand sanitiser,wait til you find out 1% have been hoarding all the money since...well forever.Had to laugh airlines in trouble,the same ones within 10 mins of spurs getting to madrid put the prices up 500%,richard branson asking for 7.5bn in aid,richard sell your fucking island first you greedy cunt.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
So this may prove an unpopular post and I apologise in advance if I cause hurt or offend anyone because I dont mean it to, I just think in those straight lines that dont involve those "feelings" people have...

Covid 19 and its consequences could have some longer terms benefits.

As pointed out in posts above there will be a loss of life to those who are older and or who have underlying medical conditions. I have relatives that tick these boxes so there may well be cause for me iron a shirt over the next few months...

However... Branson, BA, Ryanair and the plethora of businesses that run on wafer thin operating margins, that choose to stack huge profits and pay crazy bonuses to the few as opposed to having larger operating cash flows or paying their actual employees decent livings, will be the ones who face the first and possibly most serious problems in running their businesses... And fuck them all very much...

I dont care what happens to them, but their employees will inevitably be the first to suffer in the form of redundancies. Hopefully however the space these poorly run businesses occupied will be filled by new companies run in a more fiscally responsible way and the people should be able to get working again as the demand will not significantly change once this initial outbreak settles down. It will force new and existing companies to adapt and embrace new cleaner more efficient technologies to get back to the point where they are yet again stacking cash for themselves.

Governments will be forced to take this shit seriously including the way we live going forwards... you cant ignore the effect we have had on our ecosystem any longer, the way migration, people movement and disease control needs to be managed way better.

Brexit may get finished, postponed, cancelled etc...

Herd immunity will eventually be developed and this new strain of Covid-19 will become as problematic as a regular Covid virus such as the flu. Once we have had enough infected we can also start to produce vaccines to help protect the vulnerable and those without their own antibodies.

Maybe this will prompt people to live healthier, more active lives so they are fitter and better prepared to fight the next infection that will inevitably come our way as well as general diseases.

Thinning the heard, yep there are too many of us and our parasitic nature has irreversibly altered our eco system... one the heard and all other living organisms rely upon for its survival. The sick and older ones could be trimmed out opening up opportunities and freeing up resources for the younger healthier portions of the heard to prosper.

Financially, if the herd thins as above, it could impact pensions, housing markets, the NHS and many more public services in positive ways. The sick and old hold and utilise these resources more than the rest of the heard, in general.

The wealth held by those in the higher risk groups could stimulate spending once that money is distributed amongst those inheriting it. The houses available should increase, lowering prices and people should have money to buy them.

The care system... well it will have to change and maybe charge sensible prices if they want to survive this.

The pressure the old and infirmed place on the crumbling NHS may be alleviated allowing them to adapt, modernise and prepare for the next population explosion and its associated problems.

On a side the media are seriously loving this... I fucking hate them and the morons who read, listen, watch and believe their bullshit.

I watched a C4 special last night and the bloke presenting it was an atrocious advert for journalism. He catastrophised every subject and couldn't help himself taking about the dead, and the infected and (as Dorset has said) the stats about how terrifyingly fucked we all are and we may as well kill ourselves under a mountain of bog roll.

I will watch the BBC at 10 and that is it from now on and even take that with a pinch of salt...

The media has to forced to change.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
So this may prove an unpopular post and I apologise in advance if I cause hurt or offend anyone because I dont mean it to, I just think in those straight lines that dont involve those "feelings" people have...

Covid 19 and its consequences could have some longer terms benefits.

As pointed out in posts above there will be a loss of life to those who are older and or who have underlying medical conditions. I have relatives that tick these boxes so there may well be cause for me iron a shirt over the next few months...

However... Branson, BA, Ryanair and the plethora of businesses that run on wafer thin operating margins, that choose to stack huge profits and pay crazy bonuses to the few as opposed to having larger operating cash flows or paying their actual employees decent livings, will be the ones who face the first and possibly most serious problems in running their businesses... And fuck them all very much...

I dont care what happens to them, but their employees will inevitably be the first to suffer in the form of redundancies. Hopefully however the space these poorly run businesses occupied will be filled by new companies run in a more fiscally responsible way and the people should be able to get working again as the demand will not significantly change once this initial outbreak settles down. It will force new and existing companies to adapt and embrace new cleaner more efficient technologies to get back to the point where they are yet again stacking cash for themselves.

Governments will be forced to take this shit seriously including the way we live going forwards... you cant ignore the effect we have had on our ecosystem any longer, the way migration, people movement and disease control needs to be managed way better.

Brexit may get finished, postponed, cancelled etc...

Herd immunity will eventually be developed and this new strain of Covid-19 will become as problematic as a regular Covid virus such as the flu. Once we have had enough infected we can also start to produce vaccines to help protect the vulnerable and those without their own antibodies.

Maybe this will prompt people to live healthier, more active lives so they are fitter and better prepared to fight the next infection that will inevitably come our way as well as general diseases.

Thinning the heard, yep there are too many of us and our parasitic nature has irreversibly altered our eco system... one the heard and all other living organisms rely upon for its survival. The sick and older ones could be trimmed out opening up opportunities and freeing up resources for the younger healthier portions of the heard to prosper.

Financially, if the herd thins as above, it could impact pensions, housing markets, the NHS and many more public services in positive ways. The sick and old hold and utilise these resources more than the rest of the heard, in general.

The wealth held by those in the higher risk groups could stimulate spending once that money is distributed amongst those inheriting it. The houses available should increase, lowering prices and people should have money to buy them.

The care system... well it will have to change and maybe charge sensible prices if they want to survive this.

The pressure the old and infirmed place on the crumbling NHS may be alleviated allowing them to adapt, modernise and prepare for the next population explosion and its associated problems.

On a side the media are seriously loving this... I fucking hate them and the morons who read, listen, watch and believe their bullshit.

I watched a C4 special last night and the bloke presenting it was an atrocious advert for journalism. He catastrophised every subject and couldn't help himself taking about the dead, and the infected and (as Dorset has said) the stats about how terrifyingly fucked we all are and we may as well kill ourselves under a mountain of bog roll.

I will watch the BBC at 10 and that is it from now on and even take that with a pinch of salt...

The media has to forced to change.
You could have just said human beings in the majority are selfish cunts,I`m alright jack,step on you to reach that last 12 pack of andrex,as a civilaisation its pretty bad this look after number one crap.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
On the one hand I've got multiple relatives, including my dad and the in-law, who are very much in the at-risk group, so I'm a bit worried for them. On the other, avoiding interaction with people is very much my M.O., I now have an excuse to be a standoffish prick.

Also, as much as I've hated it for much of this season, I miss football.
Fuck relatives, I'm in the at risk group! The Spanish government are not fucking about, the 'lock down' - I hate that term so I will call it the the 'State Of Alarm', because that is what it is, is a total country ban on everything that is not necessary. We can go out to buy food and medicines and a few other essential things, but the police (who are now under the authority of the military) are stopping anything else. I saw on the BBC this morning that the UK government might have to buy private hospital beds, fuck that, the Spanish feds have issued a decree saying they can take over private hospitals, hotels, anything except private residences if they are needed. The problem will be that if we kick this fucker out of Spain before the tourist season starts and the other countries have done fuck all then it all starts again.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
You could have just said human beings in the majority are selfish cunts,I`m alright jack,step on you to reach that last 12 pack of andrex,as a civilaisation its pretty bad this look after number one crap.
100% agree mate humans are absolute cocks.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Fuck relatives, I'm in the at risk group! The Spanish government are not fucking about, the 'lock down' - I hate that term so I will call it the the 'State Of Alarm', because that is what it is, is a total country ban on everything that is not necessary. We can go out to buy food and medicines and a few other essential things, but the police (who are now under the authority of the military) are stopping anything else. I saw on the BBC this morning that the UK government might have to buy private hospital beds, fuck that, the Spanish feds have issued a decree saying they can take over private hospitals, hotels, anything except private residences if they are needed. The problem will be that if we kick this fucker out of Spain before the tourist season starts and the other countries have done fuck all then it all starts again.
Mate they sound bob on... its you fuckers who are at risk that I suppose this isolation gubbins is about...

If you can keep away from it and then they can develop vaccines to boost your immunity so that when you do get it its less severe, it makes sense....

At least someone seems to be taking it seriously...
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
The world is in more of a mess than our football team. Climate, politics, religion, human nature, the whole planet is pretty rancid right now. I don't see many solutions anywhere since the problems are all essentially caused by human beings in the first place. Advice? who knows.........find some people that have the same values as you and stick with them. It's the only thing that makes much sense to me. If you want to keep cocking up the weather because you're a polluter, blaming someone else because they worship a different god, vote for selfish megalomaniacs and have no regard for your neighbour because you're selfish bastard , well there's plenty of your sort about, but don't come anywhere near me thanks.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Well they announced a bigger crackdown,today they limit the number of people allowed in supermarkets depending on sqft and you have to stand 2 meters away from the counters and away from the next customer in the checkout line.Thats after you have all been stood together outside in a group for half an hour before you can enter.When I went to start putting my stuff on the till I swear I would have got less of a reaction if I stormed through security at gatwick shouting allah akbar,"not yet sir" the surely teenage checkout girl yelled because the customer pushing his trolley away was only five meters away now FFS.I bought enough stuff for us not to go back until middle of april,not because I want to hoard and feel safe,but if that is the shopping experience I will buy the lot and not fucking go back for as long as I can.Absolutely ridiculous,today was the first day of this new law,its going to be bedlam,I can see people will be outside queuing for hours at the weekend to get inside,its a badly thought out process,i expected an alarm to go off when I had to lean forward and take my kilo of meat from the butcher,
Car filled up,larder full,freezer full,extra chicken food bought,bring on the apocalypse,today was just like yesterday,except everyone has gone a little bit more mental.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Lidls today was very civilised, one out one in, everybody queuing outside keeping their distance. Calm, plenty of stock and no problems really. We've got enough for a couple of weeks now so we'll see what it's like towards the end of the state of emergency (which WILL be extended).

I've just watched BBC news talking about the 'drastic new measures' announced by your wanker of a PM. Advising and urging people to self isolate and avoid crowds etc. What a cunt that bloke is, it's like urging people to stop stabbing each other to stop knife crime. The Spanish feds today have nationalised all private hospitals and closed the borders to help deal with this bastard virus - Boris has advised people to look after themselves. I feel much safer here even though our current infection rate is higher than the UK.
 
The Cryptkeeper

The Cryptkeeper

The Aussie Yid
I moved my superannuation (pension) fund to cash early last week. I took a hit but it could have been much, much worse.

Thank fuck.

If global stockmarkets don't bounce back quickly after this is over then people about to hit retirement age who are relying on those funds are going to be royally fucked. There is nowhere to go in terms of global stimulus as interest rates are at rock bottom globally. The last thing you want in this sort of situation is zero interest rates, coupled with right wing governments orchestrating the "recovery."

Capitalism is going to be a real hurdle over the next few years.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Virgin.... aka the billionaire Richard Branson who owns a private island as stated in previous posts......

... has asked its staff to take 8 weeks off without pay....

I literally can't fucking believe the gall of that cunt Branson. I imagine he will continue to enjoy his isolated lifestyle on his private island bathing in hand sanitizer and towling himself off with bog roll...!!!

I hope his company fucking burns. That cunt gets none of my pounds from now on.

Also Sky and BT can suck my stinky stump.... no paymentnholiday or redund for those subscribed to sports services..... even though all.sport has been fucking cancelled... no more quids.

Undoubtedly there will be more rich selfish cunts.
 
The Cryptkeeper

The Cryptkeeper

The Aussie Yid
Virgin.... aka the billionaire Richard Branson who owns a private island as stated in previous posts......

... has asked its staff to take 8 weeks off without pay....

I literally can't fucking believe the gall of that cunt Branson. I imagine he will continue to enjoy his isolated lifestyle on his private island bathing in hand sanitizer and towling himself off with bog roll...!!!

I hope his company fucking burns. That cunt gets none of my pounds from now on.

Also Sky and BT can suck my stinky stump.... no paymentnholiday or redund for those subscribed to sports services..... even though all.sport has been fucking cancelled... no more quids.

Undoubtedly there will be more rich selfish cunts.
What a morally reprehensible shitcunt.

His net worth is over $4B USD.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Airlines have for the last decade used their billions of dollars profits to buy back shares, now they want governments to use taxpayer's money to bail them out. Hopefully this disaster will be a catalyst for the change the world so badly needs. No more executives earning 500 times what their workers are getting, no more currency speculators and banking spivs fucking over the rest of the world to make themselves even richer, proper, fair taxation for corporations and laws to ensure big businesses can deal with disasters without stealing from pension funds or needing government bailouts.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
People queuing to buy big rolls in the UK, queues in the USA for guns. Wankers in Witherspoon's not giving a fuck and carrying on as if fuck all has happened, here in Spain the feds have done more than just ask people to not be cunts. The media still shouting about the death rate without also emphasising the 98% recovery rate.

All this bollocks about 'draconian' lifestyle changes gets right on my thrupnies, embrace the changes, maybe consuming less crap, cutting down the pollution from unnecessary travel and thinking about the health of the planet will be s good thing.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Bruv I was thinking just that... you fuckers will be ignoring that shit until tomoz obvs...
 
Sneeky

Sneeky

Player in Training.
Was considering growing some medicinal letice if no one is comming around...😏
 
Thfcire

Thfcire

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Bruv I was thinking just that... you fuckers will be ignoring that shit until tomoz obvs...
None open since the weekend pal ,now if it comes down to it I can wipe my hole with a Jack Russell but I can’t make fucking vodka with it 😢😢
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
The UK is one of only two countries in Europe (not just the EU) t0 to not have closed schools and universities. One of just four from 35 to have not imposed internal travel restrictions and all public events. My grandchildren are stuck in the UK and I expect some of you have elderly relatives - so I hope some of you folks there have a fucking word with your government.

Corona.jpg

I can't believe the shite I am seeing on the TV about how the so-called UK government expect their 'measures' to have similar effects in controlling the spread of the virus to those in China - by asking people nicely not to spread the fucker around! Yeah, I reckon the Chinese government just advised people to stay home.
 
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