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Working from home?

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Watch out! The Daily Mirror has reported on a new model that shows what working from home will do to you!

0_wfh-modelling.jpg

I know many of you would love to lose weight and look like this bloke, so just stay home and you can get your dream physique.

This is probably the stupidest so-called news article I hovered since yesterday:


You can get lardy like this working from home, working in an office, not fucking working or whatever. There is only one rule for weight loss and it applies to calories wot you gobble up:

Burn them - or wear them.
 
J.spurs

J.spurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
How did I miss this? That model is fucking magnificent. I'm fortunate to have pretty good genes when it comes to not putting on the pounds, but the hair and the circles under the eyes are pretty much me at the moment. Also I've learned during the shutdown that, no matter how hard I try, I can't drink enough beer to get drunk anymore within a reasonable timeframe. Sad really.
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
Watch out! The Daily Mirror has reported on a new model that shows what working from home will do to you!

View attachment 1240
I know many of you would love to lose weight and look like this bloke, so just stay home and you can get your dream physique.

This is probably the stupidest so-called news article I hovered since yesterday:


You can get lardy like this working from home, working in an office, not fucking working or whatever. There is only one rule for weight loss and it applies to calories wot you gobble up:

Burn them - or wear them.
if you lose 5lbs it will solve the NHS £100m.............fact (well maybe or just total bollocks). Some people have no idea that eating fatty sugary foods and doing no exercise is bad for your health, 63% of the population apparently. Beggars belief the state of common sense in the UK, 63% of the nation are possibly morons.......
 
Havocc

Havocc

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Been working from home for about 7 years. Absolutely love it!!!! I would really struggle going back to an office and all that commuting bollocks,

For 10 years before I drove a 72 mile daily round trip to a shit town near Gatwick airport, now I am more relaxed, have more time with the family and never have to wear a shirt and tie again.

Time and commuting those 72 miles per day equates to 20 days a year sitting in a car and about £4000 in petrol and maintenance. So the financial and time benefits are amazing as well.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Been working from home for about 7 years. Absolutely love it!!!! I would really struggle going back to an office and all that commuting bollocks,

For 10 years before I drove a 72 mile daily round trip to a shit town near Gatwick airport, now I am more relaxed, have more time with the family and never have to wear a shirt and tie again.

Time and commuting those 72 miles per day equates to 20 days a year sitting in a car and about £4000 in petrol and maintenance. So the financial and time benefits are amazing as well.
100%

I'm watching my kids grow instead of my fuel bill.

I love it.

I've got pals earning big bucks but they're slogged like slaves and work 70+ hours a week....

Fuck that, you can't buy another second on this world so for me an average wage and the flexibility to work when and how I want is absolute key to my happiness...

I have been lucky enough to do a job i fucking loved for nearly 20 years, some people work a shit job they hate for ever, so now I'm working at something new, that I'm not overly passionate about but its close to home if I do have to go in and flexible AF if I don't.
 
spurious

spurious

Player in Training.
I've been taking the train into Toronto for the last five years. An hour each way, but I didn't mind it. Pleasant bike ride to the station, quick walk to the office, back in time to swing by the school and pick up the brats on my way home. Snoozed on the way in, read on the way back. I actually miss the time on the train.

But....

Now when I knock off work I can go for a ride with the kids. Stop in the middle of the day to read to the boy. Or teach my daughter a few chords. Or maybe some afternoon delight with the missus once the schools re-open.

Get through at least as much work as I did before, and even though I can't make use of my boyish charm on a virtual level, seem to be advancing.

Play tennis often enough to destroy my elbow, and run enough to fuck up my knee.

The only drawback I can see is that I don't have as much time to read. And I miss that pub in the train station. And all those bloody podcasts are plugging up my phone.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
I've been working from home for over 20 years, it's great unless I need to get something done, I can procrastinate professionally, luckily my boss is a wonderful person, kind, empathetic, generous, marvellous - self-employed for 30 years. I used to like it when I was CEO, Managing Director, President or whatever I wanted to call myself of a limited company back in the late 90's early 00s, people were paying me stupid money to fix the Y2K bug, a grand a day was normal back then and I enjoyed being two different people - as opposed to many in real life. I was the boss and the employee and I used to have really good arguments that as an employee I always won - 'Oi boss, I want a month off to go the Maldives' - 'Mmm, didn't you already go twice this year?' - 'Fuck off I'm going' - 'OK'.

The bestestetst day ever as a consultant was when the company I was working for decided to pay me daily instead of hourly, OK, it was at that time on £800 a day which was nice, but some days I would work 18 hours, swings and roundabouts. I was the Project Manager on a tax evading system for a huge corporation that I will not name because they will send the chaps round to Spain to silence me, anyway, I was having a day off and the Project Cordinator called me with a problem. He was an Anderson's cunt, I hated them geezers and all the other big consultancy firms, their sole purpose in life is to increase project sizes and get more of their twats in there with their gant charts, models and zero experience of how systems work in the real World. He needed me to explain a complex bit of the system for a board meeting, so I told him I would be happy to spend 5 minutes of my day off explaining it, but I would have to charge for a whole day! At first he said no way Pedro but after a few minutes pleading he knew his nuts were going to be pulverised by the board, he agreed. £800 for 5 minutes work! Kerching.

These days I would be lucky to get £800 a month, but I am more than a bit semi-retired and Mrs D has a few pensions so 'working' from home is even sweeter!
 
Don Diaz

Don Diaz

Zero tolerance of Numpty's
Founding Member
I've been working from home for over 20 years, it's great unless I need to get something done, I can procrastinate professionally, luckily my boss is a wonderful person, kind, empathetic, generous, marvellous - self-employed for 30 years. I used to like it when I was CEO, Managing Director, President or whatever I wanted to call myself of a limited company back in the late 90's early 00s, people were paying me stupid money to fix the Y2K bug, a grand a day was normal back then and I enjoyed being two different people - as opposed to many in real life. I was the boss and the employee and I used to have really good arguments that as an employee I always won - 'Oi boss, I want a month off to go the Maldives' - 'Mmm, didn't you already go twice this year?' - 'Fuck off I'm going' - 'OK'.

The bestestetst day ever as a consultant was when the company I was working for decided to pay me daily instead of hourly, OK, it was at that time on £800 a day which was nice, but some days I would work 18 hours, swings and roundabouts. I was the Project Manager on a tax evading system for a huge corporation that I will not name because they will send the chaps round to Spain to silence me, anyway, I was having a day off and the Project Cordinator called me with a problem. He was an Anderson's cunt, I hated them geezers and all the other big consultancy firms, their sole purpose in life is to increase project sizes and get more of their twats in there with their gant charts, models and zero experience of how systems work in the real World. He needed me to explain a complex bit of the system for a board meeting, so I told him I would be happy to spend 5 minutes of my day off explaining it, but I would have to charge for a whole day! At first he said no way Pedro but after a few minutes pleading he knew his nuts were going to be pulverised by the board, he agreed. £800 for 5 minutes work! Kerching.

These days I would be lucky to get £800 a month, but I am more than a bit semi-retired and Mrs D has a few pensions so 'working' from home is even sweeter!
you secret fucking capitalist......ha ha. Those management consultants eh? buy them a watch and they'll tell you the time. I don't know how or why big corporations don't see through them, it's a nonsense to me.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
you secret fucking capitalist......ha ha. Those management consultants eh? buy them a watch and they'll tell you the time. I don't know how or why big corporations don't see through them, it's a nonsense to me.
Secret? No mate I love a bit of wonga, but I have always paid the tax due on it and kept my NI contributions from the age of 14 when I got my first Saturday job!. I have never had a problem with paying tax, I do have a problem with the way that tax money was used by the thieving 'give a mate a contract' governments, and that applies to both sides, Tony B Liar was as guilty as Bozo the Clown. There are loads of cunts here who are not resident and don't pay taxes to Spain, we do. They are usually Brexit wankers who voted for the abomination while living in Spain and not paying their fair share, I hope they get deported next year and have their Casas auctioned off to help pay for local services.

I have been called a Marxist, Communist, Capitalist etc. etc, etc, but I don't like labels and like to take the best bits of all these ideologies. I believe that everyone should pay a fair amount of tax. First class healthcare should be free for all. Nobody should be in a position of privilege and power because of their birth ( fuck the monarchy). People with huge tracts of land should be taxed to destruction and the land used for decent affordable housing. Power, water and probably broadband these days should be nationalised and subsidised along with public transport. People with 2nd, 3rd and more homes should be taxed to fucking death. Rents should be controlled and acceptable standards enforced. Unemployed people should be given the option to do community service to earn a quid or two more and boost their self esteem,. People who abuse the benefits system should be jailed. Coppers, MPs and other people in positions of power should get at least double the amount of time that everyday folks get for crimes. Nurses should be paid double what they get now. The anti-democratic FPTP system must be replaced with PR and the House of Lords abolished and replaced with an elected upper chamber. Folks that need help should be given that help - not just at home but Worldwide, it is the duty of rich countries to help the poor, and the duty of everybody to provide for those genuinely in need. School dinners must be compulsory and parents will be prosecuted for child abuse if their kids are obese. Brexit must be abandoned and the UK should rejoin the EU on the 1st January 2021, and the final part of the Dorset Party manifesto is that THFC shall be take-over by the season ticket holders who will now be the shareholders and the Poch is brought back as a proper manager.

Sorted.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
you secret fucking capitalist......ha ha. Those management consultants eh? buy them a watch and they'll tell you the time. I don't know how or why big corporations don't see through them, it's a nonsense to me.
I have been known to charge that for a few hours,but apparently I am hippy cos im a musician with long hair. Heheheheh
 
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