ITK

[Dorset]

here we go, silly season is upon us once more.....

I am expecting the usual flow of poo from Numptyland, more insightful comments and views on out shocking transfer record over the last couple of seasons. Levy missed out on all these big-money players and allowed these other teams to finish below us in the Premier League, the tight old fucker, if he had splashed the cash we would have finished above them!

Any big name signings for any other team will set them off again.

2016-17
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Mane, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Arsenal have signed Xhaka, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Arsenal have signed Mustafi, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Pogba, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Mkhitaryan, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Bailly, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Sane, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Jesus, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked City! have signed Gundogan, hmmmm. should we have,...who's he?
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Stones, £50m ? Are you taking the piss?

We were also fucked because Pep took over at City and Jose at United, fucked totally, no chance, doomed!

2015-16
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Benteke, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Cline, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Firminho, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed De Bruyne, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Otamendi, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Stirling, fuck off, no way Pedro!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Martial, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Schneiderlin, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Depay, we should have signed him!

Berahino and Austin go without saying of course, if Levy had signed them then the world would have been our lobster. Obviously he should not have signed any of the players that he did in the last 2 seasons, except Wanyama, Sonny, Trippier and Aldereiweld of course!

LEVY OUT!

 

[Finchbee]

Who: The Dog
When: 22nd June
Where: SC

There will be no signings this window

 

[Don Diaz]

Who: Grey Fox
When: 17th June
Where: SC

I asked about the stories about Dier going for 50m and Walker being unhappy and to quote my contact " :ROFLMAO: you think Levy is stupid? He wouldn't let one of our first squad go to a challenger and certainly not for that price." Walker is happy at Spurs

Who: The Goat
When: 17th June
Where: SC

The Goat hears that any stories about Edwards being unhappy couldn't be further from the truth.
Also that Dier is not leaving.

Who: The Goat
When: 16th June
Where: SC

The Goat hears (not for the first time) that there is unrest at Levy's tactics when it comes to contracts and signings, frustration from players, agents and others involved in transfers/contracts in and out. Sessegnon and his connections are losing patience as is Edwards and two or three first team players are interesting the Manchester clubs along with one other top (european) club. However it’d take an excessive bid for us to sell. These players do not include Kane or Alli. The Goat assumes these are Dier and Walker.

The Goat also hears that our wages policy is starting to bite and one or two aren’t convinced at our ambition…… it would be no great surprise to see a number of players leave over the next year or two and although Rose fancies a move is prepared to give it another year but Toby wants a get out clause in any new deal. As was the case last year, Pochettino wants new players in before the 2nd week of pre-season.

Can I just say that anyone who talks about themselves in the third person is probably less of a Goat and more of a Cunt.

 

[skiathospurs]

Can I just say that anyone who talks about themselves in the third person is probably less of a Goat and more of a Cunt.

Anyone who gives themselves the acronym GreatestOfAllTime as a name unless they are Muhamed Ali is def a cunt regardless.

Who: Gandalf
When: 22nd June
Where: PS

Its all a load of bollarks isnt it.

 

[Dorset]

Can I just say that anyone who talks about themselves in the third person is probably less of a Goat and more of a Cunt.

Or they are lucky enough to have a DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). But then I suppose we, sorry I meant they, don't refer to themselves in the 3rd person because they are talking about the other bloke, the one who listens to the voices and does the bad things, he's a cunt he is.

 

[Yid]

I wouldn't mind seeing us sign Barkley, think he has more to show and we'd see with our team around him. Could effectively play in any of the three positions behind Kane and could be developed into a deep lying playmaker as well in my book, or have Eriksen deeper and Barkley in the three. Would certainly give us options and is a realistic transfer. If we were to sign Barkley, Smalling, and Lemar I'd be pretty happy with the squad for next season. That's if none if none of the first team leave of course, if someone goes they'll need replacing too.

Fucking Smalling... you OK mate?

 

[corroded]

I am expecting the usual flow of poo from Numptyland, more insightful comments and views on out shocking transfer record over the last couple of seasons. Levy missed out on all these big-money players and allowed these other teams to finish below us in the Premier League, the tight old fucker, if he had splashed the cash we would have finished above them!

Any big name signings for any other team will set them off again.

2016-17
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Mane, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Arsenal have signed Xhaka, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Arsenal have signed Mustafi, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Pogba, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Mkhitaryan, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Bailly, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Sane, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Jesus, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked City! have signed Gundogan, hmmmm. should we have,...who's he?
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Stones, £50m ? Are you taking the piss?

We were also fucked because Pep took over at City and Jose at United, fucked totally, no chance, doomed!

2015-16
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Benteke, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Cline, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! Liverpool have signed Firminho, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed De Bruyne, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Otamendi, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! City have signed Stirling, fuck off, no way Pedro!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Martial, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Schneiderlin, we should have signed him!
Oh no, we're fucked! United have signed Depay, we should have signed him!

Berahino and Austin go without saying of course, if Levy had signed them then the world would have been our lobster. Obviously he should not have signed any of the players that he did in the last 2 seasons, except Wanyama, Sonny, Trippier and Aldereiweld of course!

LEVY OUT!

Sounds like 'What have the Romans done for us?!'

 

[Liam]

Fucking Smalling... you OK mate?

He's not first team material for us but I think would make good choice as cover or if we're playing a back 3 and Dier is needed in midfield or not fit. More a cover/rotation option as we need to look at player who can be that for us next season.

 

[Yid]

He's not first team material for us but I think would make good choice as cover or if we're playing a back 3 and Dier is needed in midfield or not fit. More a cover/rotation option as we need to look at player who can be that for us next season.

Soz mate but you need to get some sleep...

Wimmer... Dier... Mousa at a push... I'd chuck one of the fullbacks in there before I considered spending money on fucking Smalling bruv...!!!

 

[Rev John Ripsher]

Here's one from left field.....how aboot Josh King? What's not to like? (Runs and hides)

 

[skiathospurs]

BREAKING: Arsenal reach agreement for Kylian Mbappé...



They've agreed it's never going to happen!

 

[Finchbee]

Who: Archibald & Crooks
When: 6th July
Where: SC

It wouldn't surprise me if we see the worst meltdown in SC history over the next few days

This is not ITK but has caused a meltdown

Then he responds

Guys, if I could post it, I would but we're still working with the source so it has to wait until we get it into some sort of shape to post.

If me hinting at news to come has upset anyone please accept my most sincere couldn't give a fuckagies, it wasn't my intention to ruin your lives.

 

[Finchbee]

Who: Trix
When: 7th July
Where: SC

Broken record time as far as Walker is concerned, if the fee is met he's gone.

Barkley situation not changed either, was always going to drag on.

Oh and worth mentioning there has been lots of enquiries regarding the core first team players. Apart from Walker it's a simple case of not for sale!

 

[Don Diaz]

I'm not saying that JJset, Trix, Grey Fox, Archibald & Crooks and all Tossers United don't know what they're talking about, or that they are just click bait whores.....it's just that I trust the human being Graham Roberts more, when he says we had the best defence last season and the best goal scoring record, so perhaps we need not worry about a lack of transfer activity.

I also read that Arsenal and Liverpool have broken their transfer spend records.......so what? they needed to.

 

[Finchbee]

Here's a few snippets, posted this morning. Whored by Dov, the madame of ITK whoring

BEN: walker is going apart from that i know nothing more about bad news

Ali Z: TBH this comes as a shock to me nothing I have heard hints at anything meltdown style. Don't mean there is nothing going on ...only thing even close when I last hears was Walker and no fee agreed there.

edmonton: Spoken to a few people this week and although they have no obligation to say anything there was no hint of bad news coming from the club.

 

[Finchbee]

Who: Goat
When: 7th July
Where: SC

Here's the latest across the Goat's horns.........

Whilst Pochettino understands that we can't sign big stars, he's getting increasingly frustrated that targets agreed to are not being delivered, despite these players being entirely affordable, within our range and agreeing to come. In fact is a number of cases fees have actually been agreed.

He's not getting his choices with some regularity and things aren't at all well between him and the bald man who offers up signings that Poch just doesn't want. He'll continue to say the right things for now but unless things change soon, at some point we'll start to see stories appearing in the media. The Goat's source guesses we might get another season from him at best unless things dramatically improve. But that's just a guess.

The players don't see the new ground as the be all and end all, they want to see ambition to go along with it and as for the wages thing, this isn't player greed, its promises being made and then broken. A number of players are only still here because of Pochettino and if he goes this could all turn very quickly into a nightmare for the man at the top with the majority of our top names leaving.........unless he (once again) makes moves to fix things. He has a VERY accomplished PR or 'spin' department.

On the good news front, a fee for Barkley has been agreed for some while at 20m but soured by last minute changes to deal structure instigated by the man at the top, so it may or may not happen.......and this isn't the first time, there's a long list of deals that never came off due to these last minute attempts to squeeze a bit out of a deal......... Lemar, Batshuayi, Berahino and going further back even Willian etc etc......The Goat hears that the failure to sign these players is down to one man.

 

[Don Diaz]

The Goat's source guesses we might get another season from him at best unless things dramatically improve. But that's just a guess.....

The Goat hears that the failure to sign these players is down to one man.....

Please. I hope the Goat tells us something interesting soon from their extensive knowledge bank, then we can all sleep soundly at night. Jeez.

 

[Dorset]

The Goat's source guesses we might get another season from him at best unless things dramatically improve. But that's just a guess.....

The Goat hears that the failure to sign these players is down to one man.....

Please. I hope the Goat tells us something interesting soon from their extensive knowledge bank, then we can all sleep soundly at night. Jeez.

Everybody knows I don't take any notice of gossip or what 'sources' say - but these Goaty facts must be true because they align nicely with my long held beliefs that Levy is a total cunt. Just like all the numpties all over the world, if a piece of old bollox is published that reinforces my opinion then that piece of old bollox is a FACT!

 

[skiathospurs]

Who: Goat
When: 7th July
Where: SC

Here's the latest across the Goat's horns.........

Whilst Pochettino understands that we can't sign big stars, he's getting increasingly frustrated that targets agreed to are not being delivered, despite these players being entirely affordable, within our range and agreeing to come. In fact is a number of cases fees have actually been agreed.

He's not getting his choices with some regularity and things aren't at all well between him and the bald man who offers up signings that Poch just doesn't want. He'll continue to say the right things for now but unless things change soon, at some point we'll start to see stories appearing in the media. The Goat's source guesses we might get another season from him at best unless things dramatically improve. But that's just a guess.

The players don't see the new ground as the be all and end all, they want to see ambition to go along with it and as for the wages thing, this isn't player greed, its promises being made and then broken. A number of players are only still here because of Pochettino and if he goes this could all turn very quickly into a nightmare for the man at the top with the majority of our top names leaving.........unless he (once again) makes moves to fix things. He has a VERY accomplished PR or 'spin' department.

On the good news front, a fee for Barkley has been agreed for some while at 20m but soured by last minute changes to deal structure instigated by the man at the top, so it may or may not happen.......and this isn't the first time, there's a long list of deals that never came off due to these last minute attempts to squeeze a bit out of a deal......... Lemar, Batshuayi, Berahino and going further back even Willian etc etc......The Goat hears that the failure to sign these players is down to one man.

 

[Thfcire]

Someone needs to shoot that goat cunt ....I'm not doing anything at the moment hang on I'll be back in a min ....

 

[skiathospurs]

Barkley done deal from sauces close to the club

 

[Finchbee]

From Ghostfarmo FTL, normally reliable

Walker 1000% gone..

Bringing 2 in with that impending sale.

Dier going nowhere.

 

[TettenhallHotspur]

From Ghostfarmo FTL, normally reliable

Walker 1000% gone..

Bringing 2 in with that impending sale.

Dier going nowhere.

We're selling him 10 times! Or selling 10 Walkers perhaps.

 

[Flump]

If the player wants out, which appears to be the case, then as quick as possible and for as much as possible is what we need.

 

[Yid]

If the player wants out, which appears to be the case, then as quick as possible and for as much as possible is what we need.

Nope as slow as posible on our terms... if at all.

Stick him jn the reserves or youth team.

 

[Flump]

Nope as slow as posible on our terms... if at all.

Stick him jn the reserves or youth team.

haha, you're a bitter man. soon as poss, get the money and spend it

 

[Don Diaz]

From Ghostfarmo FTL, normally reliable

Walker 1000% gone..

Bringing 2 in with that impending sale.

Dier going nowhere.

Dier has gone somewhere.....Mykonos with Dele and their girlfriends.

Beats the shit out of Manchester, sorry @Liam

 

[Liam]

Dier has gone somewhere.....Mykonos with Dele and their girlfriends.

Beats the shit out of Manchester, sorry @Liam

I'm good with that. Hope the lad stays away from Mancunia as much as possible.

 

[Havocc]

We sell Walker to City

We win the league

I tweet Walker 'The game is about Glory'

Walker finally understands

 

[Finchbee]

Who: The Goat
When: 13th July
Where: SC

The Goat hears that 'Daniel Levy briefed the media at least a month ago that Dier wouldn't be sold and asked that no stories to the contrary be printed as spurs wouldn't be selling and the stories would be false.'