Or simply by inserting Emerson into it.
Doing an Emerson is my new term for fucking things up. Yesterday I rigged up a leaf catcher doobrie to my pool vacuum, I then put a 'sock' over to top of it to catch all the fucking Sahara sand that has been dumped in the pool. I saw it on the Internet, it was a brilliant idea. You get the fine mesh 'socks' that fit in your skimmer basket, slap them over the basket in your leaf catcher so all that muck does not go in your filter - that saves money 'cos you don't have to backwash your filter so often. Ooooh, all these techie pool terms, I am learning more about pool maintenance every day, I have learned that the fucker needs constant cleaning, chemical balancing, more fucking cleaning and the water is too fucking cold to swim in. Back to the story, I did an Emerson by putting the sock on the outside of the basket. When I started vacuuming, it sucked the fucker into my pool pump filter - eeeek! Of course the sock goes inside the basket, what an Emerson! Sorted now, all these first world problems eh?
When I first got married, we lived in a small house with a pool in the backyard. We should have filled it with dollar bills instead of water, it would've been cheaper. Now, many years later, the missus wants another (to be fair, it is unbearably hot in my part of the world for 4-5 months out of the year.)
To be honest, I actually enjoy keeping the water clean and sparkly and on a hot day it is the very doodahs of the dog. Floating in the pool with an ice cold beer (plastic glass of course, I'd be Paulinhoed, Emersonned, possibly Gilbertoed if I broke a glass in the bugger) and some tunes playing is worth all the work. If I win the lottery I will have a huge pool with an outside telly so I can watch Spurs play and the therapeutic spa jets and the swim-up bar will take away all that stress of watching a bunch of Emersons wandering around aimlessly.
Oh, don't get me wrong, when I win the lottery, I'll also have a huge pool, and hire someone else--maybe Emerson himself at the rate he's going--to take care of the thing
Nooooooo! You will jump in your massive, olympic size pool and be dissolved by chlorine instantly if you hire Emerson as your pool boy, or you will be eaten by the flesh eating bacteria that have been allowed to live in your pool because he couldn't be bothered testing the water.
