I remember when I were a nipper my old nan would give us bread and dripping for our Sunday tea. She used to let us smoke her rollups and drink beer as well. Never did me any harm, my heart attack was caused by Nigel Farage sending subliminal messages through mobile phone towers telling me to kick puppies and the vaccines I had as a kid that put little explosive devices into my body that exploded in my ticker when I started to have bad thoughts about the secret alien overlords who are lizards and wearing royal family skins - everybody knows that is what causes heart conditions, not smoking tabs, drinking huge quantities of alcohol and eating kebabs, burgers, fish n chips and delicious dripping.
I ate a doner kebab sober once.WTF? Why would anyone who was not properly wasted eat one of those things? I also mislaid one once. The night before we were moving out of house I had s sherbert or three too many, I remembered buying a kebab and bringing it home but I did not eat it. I wonder if it is still there? Maybe I hid it like a squirrel putting away acorns for the winter. I can imagine the new owners getting in pest-control and exorcists to try and get rid of the smell.
