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What to buy...

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
I want a fly zapper..spect you budgy smuggling expats got them...gone for this one cause the review made me chuckle..

I kinda wanted to give this 4 stars but it wouldn’t be fair as my one single problem with it is it kills flies too loudly! It’s a flies equivalent to the electric chair! Come on, we’ve all seen the green mile, unless it goes in with a wet sponge on its head, it’s gonna go with a bang! And that, it does!! It makes my jump and I’ve been to Iraq and Afghanistan!!!
Loudly is good! The sound of those fuckers being zapped is music to my ears! The only problem with them there zapper doohickeys is that they don't mullah mosquitoes until it is completely, pitch black, dark. We have spaghetti fly screens on the doors, those dangly strips of stuff, which keep the flies out pretty good, but skeeters laugh at them, land on them to have a good look round and chose their victims then fly in and attack. We have proper fly screens on the windows so that keeps the bastards out, but we have 3 double patio doors and two main doors in our downstairs bit and to avoid suffocation they have to be open - proper net fly screens on doors are a bit useless cos you can't get in and out of the fecking things! As we really, really hate skeeters we also have 3 Raid poisoners going in the evenings and some baby cologne, yeah really, they put cologne on babies here - it's called ******* - I can't tell you cos it's a Spanish secret and we don't want the tourists buying it all up, it has a nice lemon smell wot skeeters hate.

My favourite death dealing device was my battery powered rat trap - mousey or ratty wanders in and zap, kapow that is an ex-rat! I can't find them here so we poison the fuckers, we don't get many but there's a lot of wild bits of land near here and they wander in to eat our veggies, the bastards.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Loudly is good! The sound of those fuckers being zapped is music to my ears! The only problem with them there zapper doohickeys is that they don't mullah mosquitoes until it is completely, pitch black, dark. We have spaghetti fly screens on the doors, those dangly strips of stuff, which keep the flies out pretty good, but skeeters laugh at them, land on them to have a good look round and chose their victims then fly in and attack. We have proper fly screens on the windows so that keeps the bastards out, but we have 3 double patio doors and two main doors in our downstairs bit and to avoid suffocation they have to be open - proper net fly screens on doors are a bit useless cos you can't get in and out of the fecking things! As we really, really hate skeeters we also have 3 Raid poisoners going in the evenings and some baby cologne, yeah really, they put cologne on babies here - it's called ******* - I can't tell you cos it's a Spanish secret and we don't want the tourists buying it all up, it has a nice lemon smell wot skeeters hate.

My favourite death dealing device was my battery powered rat trap - mousey or ratty wanders in and zap, kapow that is an ex-rat! I can't find them here so we poison the fuckers, we don't get many but there's a lot of wild bits of land near here and they wander in to eat our veggies, the bastards.
the only real way to stop them is a bloody mark on the wall!!
Rats arent a problem here,several 1000 feral cats are,with dogooders throwing food in the road cos they have big eyes and fluffy tails.They like my pond and the koi,they like my veg patch for a luxurious andrex toilet moment,I like my air rifle,them....not so much.
 
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