What to buy...

[Dorset]

I want a fly zapper..spect you budgy smuggling expats got them...gone for this one cause the review made me chuckle..

I kinda wanted to give this 4 stars but it wouldn’t be fair as my one single problem with it is it kills flies too loudly! It’s a flies equivalent to the electric chair! Come on, we’ve all seen the green mile, unless it goes in with a wet sponge on its head, it’s gonna go with a bang! And that, it does!! It makes my jump and I’ve been to Iraq and Afghanistan!!!

Loudly is good! The sound of those fuckers being zapped is music to my ears! The only problem with them there zapper doohickeys is that they don't mullah mosquitoes until it is completely, pitch black, dark. We have spaghetti fly screens on the doors, those dangly strips of stuff, which keep the flies out pretty good, but skeeters laugh at them, land on them to have a good look round and chose their victims then fly in and attack. We have proper fly screens on the windows so that keeps the bastards out, but we have 3 double patio doors and two main doors in our downstairs bit and to avoid suffocation they have to be open - proper net fly screens on doors are a bit useless cos you can't get in and out of the fecking things! As we really, really hate skeeters we also have 3 Raid poisoners going in the evenings and some baby cologne, yeah really, they put cologne on babies here - it's called ******* - I can't tell you cos it's a Spanish secret and we don't want the tourists buying it all up, it has a nice lemon smell wot skeeters hate.

My favourite death dealing device was my battery powered rat trap - mousey or ratty wanders in and zap, kapow that is an ex-rat! I can't find them here so we poison the fuckers, we don't get many but there's a lot of wild bits of land near here and they wander in to eat our veggies, the bastards.

 

[skiathospurs]

Loudly is good! The sound of those fuckers being zapped is music to my ears! The only problem with them there zapper doohickeys is that they don't mullah mosquitoes until it is completely, pitch black, dark. We have spaghetti fly screens on the doors, those dangly strips of stuff, which keep the flies out pretty good, but skeeters laugh at them, land on them to have a good look round and chose their victims then fly in and attack. We have proper fly screens on the windows so that keeps the bastards out, but we have 3 double patio doors and two main doors in our downstairs bit and to avoid suffocation they have to be open - proper net fly screens on doors are a bit useless cos you can't get in and out of the fecking things! As we really, really hate skeeters we also have 3 Raid poisoners going in the evenings and some baby cologne, yeah really, they put cologne on babies here - it's called ******* - I can't tell you cos it's a Spanish secret and we don't want the tourists buying it all up, it has a nice lemon smell wot skeeters hate.

My favourite death dealing device was my battery powered rat trap - mousey or ratty wanders in and zap, kapow that is an ex-rat! I can't find them here so we poison the fuckers, we don't get many but there's a lot of wild bits of land near here and they wander in to eat our veggies, the bastards.

the only real way to stop them is a bloody mark on the wall!!
Rats arent a problem here,several 1000 feral cats are,with dogooders throwing food in the road cos they have big eyes and fluffy tails.They like my pond and the koi,they like my veg patch for a luxurious andrex toilet moment,I like my air rifle,them....not so much.

 

[Sneeky]

question for the teckies..
Have a samsung phone with samsung account that is backed up, bought a tab A, if i log in on new Tab A and sync the Samsung account will it tell me what apps are missing and restore any google accounts?
i.e, got games on the phone that has been paid for and i dont want to loose out on the switch to tablet.
got till xmas day to work it out.

S.

 

[Yid]

question for the teckies..
Have a samsung phone with samsung account that is backed up, bought a tab A, if i log in on new Tab A and sync the Samsung account will it tell me what apps are missing and restore any google accounts?
i.e, got games on the phone that has been paid for and i dont want to loose out on the switch to tablet.
got till xmas day to work it out.

S.

Yeah Samsung back up is pretty good mate... I use it for my deviced for about 4 years and uts been faultless...

I use Google for pics and emails though

Between Google and Samsung the switch is never a real issue.

 

[Sneeky]

A radiator...do you think I can get this one anywhere, the answer is no.

Error 410 | Screwfix

Thousands of products at low trade prices | FREE next day delivery available | 30 day money back guarantee on all orders.

www.screwfix.com

If any of you make radiators, pull your finger out you lazy sod it brass monkey here.

 

[Sneeky]

Wickes came through with the radiator, delivery Friday..didn’t get the free trv’s though.
Oh and bought a smart scale thingy, measures bmi and fatty stuff.
Big mistake....even the dog is obese !

 

[Dorset]

I bought the best thing ever last week - an electric mortar mixer. We tiled an ugly 10sqm concrete slab to turn it into a patio so I had to mix 75kgs of mortar. €80 for the mixer was a huge bargain, I'm aching everywhere and cream crackered now, if I had mixed that lot by hand I would be a raspberry ripple today. The ceramic tiles we bought look well nice, and they're really cheap here - €8 a square metre. I'll post a picture next week when the rain covers come off, it's pissing it down at the moment.

 

[Dorset]

The mortar mixer was a very good buy! The patio is done. Grouting is a double cunt that is a cunt, I hate fucking grouting - it is a cunt of a job. If you are thinking of doing a bit of patio tiling, don't - because you will have to grout the fucker and I believe I may have mentioned that grouting is a total cunt, We have turned an ugly slab of concrete that had been painted a fuck awful green into this :

The next thing we bought was 4,000 kgs of stones, I am knackered after putting down around 200kg.

Buying 4,000kgs of gravel from Leroy merlin (like B&Q but not shite) would have cost us around €1500 but the quarry people (like trolls but they don't live under bridges, they live in a quarry) delivered the lot with a crane to dump it in the garden for about €350!

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

Can I fly you over to sort my garden?

 

[Yid]

The mortar mixer was a very good buy! The patio is done. Grouting is a double cunt that is a cunt, I hate fucking grouting - it is a cunt of a job. If you are thinking of doing a bit of patio tiling, don't - because you will have to grout the fucker and I believe I may have mentioned that grouting is a total cunt, We have turned an ugly slab of concrete that had been painted a fuck awful green into this :

View attachment 1459
The next thing we bought was 4,000 kgs of stones, I am knackered after putting down around 200kg.

View attachment 1460
Buying 4,000kgs of gravel from Leroy merlin (like B&Q but not shite) would have cost us around €1500 but the quarry people (like trolls but they don't live under bridges, they live in a quarry) delivered the lot with a crane to dump it in the garden for about €350!

Looks proper good that mate...

 

[Don Diaz]

Can I fly you over to sort my garden?

Oi fuck off, there's a queue........we need a new patio, but no gravel and I'll find someone to do the grouting. Are you in? Nice orange tree by the way.....(he said grovelling)

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

Oi fuck off, there's a queue........we need a new patio, but no gravel and I'll find someone to do the grouting. Are you in? Nice orange tree by the way.....(he said grovelling)

There is and I believe I asked first

 

[Dorset]

Oi fuck off, there's a queue........we need a new patio, but no gravel and I'll find someone to do the grouting. Are you in? Nice orange tree by the way.....(he said grovelling)

The tree in the front container is a lemon tree that I almost killed last year, it was doing very nicely then it started to lose all is leaves, the irrigation system I put in wasn't irrigating him. He's doing OK now and I expect lemons next year. Everywhere round here smells really nice at the moment, it's orange blossom season and there are orange groves everywhere. I cycle up into the mountains most days (not far up, I'm not a mountain cyclist, my heart monitor watch doodah says I only get 70m elevation!) and there are millions of trees. Our Spanish neighbour owns one of the plots and brings us about 10kg of oranges every week. There's a grove for sale locally and if I had a big bucket of money I would be tempted, but what the fuck would I do with all those oranges? I could ship them to Blighty to save you from Brexit orange blight, but fuck you, you keep all your vaccines (and ours) and fuck everybody else, we'll keep our tasty oranges and tomatoes and most of the food you eat - except turnips of course, maybe next Christmas I will be eating Spanish sprouts because we will be keeping them all and you can have turnips.

 

[Dorset]

I have wanted a 'proper' camera for ages. What I needed was a camera with buttons and dials for shutter speed, exposure, ISO and all that bollocks. I have a 7 year old Panasonic G6 M4/3 camera and it's OK, but I needed more. I needed a Fujifilm camera! But, explaining to Mrs D why I needed one of them doohickeys was not easy! The Fuji XT3 body only is €1300 and the XT4 is €1700, eeeek! So, after hundreds of hours on Youtube watching 'proper' photographers yabbering on about which second hand cameras were the very bollocks of the dog, I bought a used XT1 from MPB for €300 including delivery. I had read good things about MPB and they offer a money back guarantee so I took a chance.

Fuck, this is a good camera! Not a mark on it, everything works well and the pictures are pukka as fuck. I bought a couple of €20 adaptors so I could use my old Canon and Olympus lenses, as a 'proper' photographer I only use manual focus anyway (and I bought the Olympus lenses for peanuts on Ebay yonks ago before all the trendy fuckers starting banging on about vintage lenses and sending the prices through the roof).

 

[Don Diaz]

I have wanted a 'proper' camera for ages. What I needed was a camera with buttons and dials for shutter speed, exposure, ISO and all that bollocks. I have a 7 year old Panasonic G6 M4/3 camera and it's OK, but I needed more. I needed a Fujifilm camera! But, explaining to Mrs D why I needed one of them doohickeys was not easy! The Fuji XT3 body only is €1300 and the XT4 is €1700, eeeek! So, after hundreds of hours on Youtube watching 'proper' photographers yabbering on about which second hand cameras were the very bollocks of the dog, I bought a used XT1 from MPB for €300 including delivery. I had read good things about MPB and they offer a money back guarantee so I took a chance.

Fuck, this is a good camera! Not a mark on it, everything works well and the pictures are pukka as fuck. I bought a couple of €20 adaptors so I could use my old Canon and Olympus lenses, as a 'proper' photographer I only use manual focus anyway (and I bought the Olympus lenses for peanuts on Ebay yonks ago before all the trendy fuckers starting banging on about vintage lenses and sending the prices through the roof).

my iphone camera is really, really, good..........i press a button and it even looks at me so I can check my spots and if I ask my children I can make it do funny faces and 'filters'......tbh you should have got one of those....

 

[Dorset]

my iphone camera is really, really, good..........i press a button and it even looks at me so I can check my spots and if I ask my children I can make it do funny faces and 'filters'......tbh you should have got one of those....

Are you Jon Snow? Because you know nothing! Taking proper photographs is so important, when lockdown is over and the parasites after a free holiday start arriving again - or as Mrs D calls them, visitors, they will be so upset if they can't spend 5 or 6 hours looking at my pictures while I explain why I used a particular F Stop or shutter speed, the ISO values and how it affected the picture, and seeing each of the 60 focus stacked and exposure stacked images I used to create the final images. Imagine if I just say to them 'I pointed my phone at this mountain', there will then be a big gap to fill and they might try and tell me about what has been going in their lives and that will piss me off massively.

My son's iPhone takes better photos than my cameras - he keeps telling me that, but he's talking out of his arse because, well, there's this thing called physics and he's totally shite at photography even when he uses his proper camera (which of course cost way more than mine so is much better).

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

Are you Jon Snow? Because you know nothing! Taking proper photographs is so important, when lockdown is over and the parasites after a free holiday start arriving again - or as Mrs D calls them, visitors, they will be so upset if they can't spend 5 or 6 hours looking at my pictures while I explain why I used a particular F Stop or shutter speed, the ISO values and how it affected the picture, and seeing each of the 60 focus stacked and exposure stacked images I used to create the final images. Imagine if I just say to them 'I pointed my phone at this mountain', there will then be a big gap to fill and they might try and tell me about what has been going in their lives and that will piss me off massively.

My son's iPhone takes better photos than my cameras - he keeps telling me that, but he's talking out of his arse because, well, there's this thing called physics and he's totally shite at photography even when he uses his proper camera (which of course cost way more than mine so is much better).

I can see @Dorset with his reels and reels of slides now, oops, how did that one get in there!

 

[Yid]

So, I brought a Wattbike... and love it.

Had it a few weeks but they sending me emails saying they're getting it ready and preparing my delivery...?

What do I do if another one turns up?

Wife says that I have to tell them... and be "honest"...!

I'm not keen on the idea.

 

[Don Diaz]

So, I brought a Wattbike... and love it.

Had it a few weeks but they sending me emails saying they're getting it ready and preparing my delivery...?

What do I do if another one turns up?

Wife says that I have to tell them... and be "honest"...!

I'm not keen on the idea.

I'm one of these new cyclist types - 57 with my first road bike, bought last April when the sun was shining. I'm now a cunt on Strava and doing up to a 100kms in the countryside with a pub stop or two and loving it. Also got an exercise bike in the garage, bought for rehab for a new knee and that works when the weather is shit.

No impact fitness for old farts and fresh air, perfect.

ps. I'm not a two-abreast wanker with cycling club shirt either.........

 

[Sneeky]

What would Levy do...

 

[Don Diaz]

What would Levy do...

Sell it for a tenner over the real value and charge a hefty delivery fee.

 

[Sneeky]

with a sell on fee

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

What would Levy do...

put it in the shed and demand 400% over the market rate and wait until it's gone all rusty and knackered then sell it for half the price it was worth originally when the offers he refused were worth a lot more?

 

[spurious]

put it in the shed and demand 400% over the market rate and wait until it's gone all rusty and knackered then sell it for half the price it was worth originally when the offers he refused were worth a lot more?

Or let it sit idle until the warranty expires and it rides itself up to Sunderland.

 

[Style And Glory]

What would Levy do...

He's sell @Don Diaz's new knee

 

[Sneeky]

Strip it down, sell the parts, put some flashy lights on the wheels, call it a tricycle and put a cock on it

 

[Dorset]

I'm one of these new cyclist types - 57 with my first road bike, bought last April when the sun was shining. I'm now a cunt on Strava and doing up to a 100kms in the countryside with a pub stop or two and loving it. Also got an exercise bike in the garage, bought for rehab for a new knee and that works when the weather is shit.

No impact fitness for old farts and fresh air, perfect.

ps. I'm not a two-abreast wanker with cycling club shirt either.........

I need a new knee but I am going to work the old one until it is totally fucked, it is 3/4 fucked at the moment but I can still cycle without problems, walking is a total cunt though. 100kms is taking the piss, I do about 20 every day, that is enough for old folks.

 

[Sneeky]

Adult Elite Tottenham Hotspur Home Shirt 2021/22 | Official Spurs Shop

Slim fit match shirt that's identical of the one worn by the players for home games. Nike dri-FIT ADV fabric technology for a fresher feel.

shop.tottenhamhotspur.com

it won’t be a 3xl at £105 ….rich fat fukers

 

[Yid]

£105 for a fuckin replica shirt...

Who would actually pay that... Silly rich cunts.

 

[Dorset]

Farkkkkkk! I just looked at that shirt from here in the EU paradise of Spain and it's €140, for a fucking T Shirt. OK it's got all that sports tech like 'VaporKnit technology that combines lightweight breathable fabric with reduced cling and precision fit that wicks sweat away and dries fast enabling you to deliver an excellent performance' - most people who buy them will be fat fuckers who would have a fucking heart attack getting up off the fucking sofa.