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What to buy...

Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
I want a fly zapper..spect you budgy smuggling expats got them...gone for this one cause the review made me chuckle..

I kinda wanted to give this 4 stars but it wouldn’t be fair as my one single problem with it is it kills flies too loudly! It’s a flies equivalent to the electric chair! Come on, we’ve all seen the green mile, unless it goes in with a wet sponge on its head, it’s gonna go with a bang! And that, it does!! It makes my jump and I’ve been to Iraq and Afghanistan!!!
Loudly is good! The sound of those fuckers being zapped is music to my ears! The only problem with them there zapper doohickeys is that they don't mullah mosquitoes until it is completely, pitch black, dark. We have spaghetti fly screens on the doors, those dangly strips of stuff, which keep the flies out pretty good, but skeeters laugh at them, land on them to have a good look round and chose their victims then fly in and attack. We have proper fly screens on the windows so that keeps the bastards out, but we have 3 double patio doors and two main doors in our downstairs bit and to avoid suffocation they have to be open - proper net fly screens on doors are a bit useless cos you can't get in and out of the fecking things! As we really, really hate skeeters we also have 3 Raid poisoners going in the evenings and some baby cologne, yeah really, they put cologne on babies here - it's called ******* - I can't tell you cos it's a Spanish secret and we don't want the tourists buying it all up, it has a nice lemon smell wot skeeters hate.

My favourite death dealing device was my battery powered rat trap - mousey or ratty wanders in and zap, kapow that is an ex-rat! I can't find them here so we poison the fuckers, we don't get many but there's a lot of wild bits of land near here and they wander in to eat our veggies, the bastards.
 
skiathospurs

skiathospurs

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
Loudly is good! The sound of those fuckers being zapped is music to my ears! The only problem with them there zapper doohickeys is that they don't mullah mosquitoes until it is completely, pitch black, dark. We have spaghetti fly screens on the doors, those dangly strips of stuff, which keep the flies out pretty good, but skeeters laugh at them, land on them to have a good look round and chose their victims then fly in and attack. We have proper fly screens on the windows so that keeps the bastards out, but we have 3 double patio doors and two main doors in our downstairs bit and to avoid suffocation they have to be open - proper net fly screens on doors are a bit useless cos you can't get in and out of the fecking things! As we really, really hate skeeters we also have 3 Raid poisoners going in the evenings and some baby cologne, yeah really, they put cologne on babies here - it's called ******* - I can't tell you cos it's a Spanish secret and we don't want the tourists buying it all up, it has a nice lemon smell wot skeeters hate.

My favourite death dealing device was my battery powered rat trap - mousey or ratty wanders in and zap, kapow that is an ex-rat! I can't find them here so we poison the fuckers, we don't get many but there's a lot of wild bits of land near here and they wander in to eat our veggies, the bastards.
the only real way to stop them is a bloody mark on the wall!!
Rats arent a problem here,several 1000 feral cats are,with dogooders throwing food in the road cos they have big eyes and fluffy tails.They like my pond and the koi,they like my veg patch for a luxurious andrex toilet moment,I like my air rifle,them....not so much.
 
Sneeky

Sneeky

VARNA SANKARA
question for the teckies..
Have a samsung phone with samsung account that is backed up, bought a tab A, if i log in on new Tab A and sync the Samsung account will it tell me what apps are missing and restore any google accounts?
i.e, got games on the phone that has been paid for and i dont want to loose out on the switch to tablet.
got till xmas day to work it out.

S.
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
question for the teckies..
Have a samsung phone with samsung account that is backed up, bought a tab A, if i log in on new Tab A and sync the Samsung account will it tell me what apps are missing and restore any google accounts?
i.e, got games on the phone that has been paid for and i dont want to loose out on the switch to tablet.
got till xmas day to work it out.

S.
Yeah Samsung back up is pretty good mate... I use it for my deviced for about 4 years and uts been faultless...

I use Google for pics and emails though

Between Google and Samsung the switch is never a real issue.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
I bought the best thing ever last week - an electric mortar mixer. We tiled an ugly 10sqm concrete slab to turn it into a patio so I had to mix 75kgs of mortar. €80 for the mixer was a huge bargain, I'm aching everywhere and cream crackered now, if I had mixed that lot by hand I would be a raspberry ripple today. The ceramic tiles we bought look well nice, and they're really cheap here - €8 a square metre. I'll post a picture next week when the rain covers come off, it's pissing it down at the moment.
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
The mortar mixer was a very good buy! The patio is done. Grouting is a double cunt that is a cunt, I hate fucking grouting - it is a cunt of a job. If you are thinking of doing a bit of patio tiling, don't - because you will have to grout the fucker and I believe I may have mentioned that grouting is a total cunt, We have turned an ugly slab of concrete that had been painted a fuck awful green into this :

Patio640.jpg

The next thing we bought was 4,000 kgs of stones, I am knackered after putting down around 200kg.

Stones640.jpg

Buying 4,000kgs of gravel from Leroy merlin (like B&Q but not shite) would have cost us around €1500 but the quarry people (like trolls but they don't live under bridges, they live in a quarry) delivered the lot with a crane to dump it in the garden for about €350!
 
Yid

Yid

Well-Known Member
Founding Member
The mortar mixer was a very good buy! The patio is done. Grouting is a double cunt that is a cunt, I hate fucking grouting - it is a cunt of a job. If you are thinking of doing a bit of patio tiling, don't - because you will have to grout the fucker and I believe I may have mentioned that grouting is a total cunt, We have turned an ugly slab of concrete that had been painted a fuck awful green into this :

View attachment 1459
The next thing we bought was 4,000 kgs of stones, I am knackered after putting down around 200kg.

View attachment 1460
Buying 4,000kgs of gravel from Leroy merlin (like B&Q but not shite) would have cost us around €1500 but the quarry people (like trolls but they don't live under bridges, they live in a quarry) delivered the lot with a crane to dump it in the garden for about €350!
Looks proper good that mate...
 
Motspur Hotspur

Motspur Hotspur

Player in Training.
Oi fuck off, there's a queue........we need a new patio, but no gravel and I'll find someone to do the grouting. Are you in? Nice orange tree by the way.....(he said grovelling)
There is and I believe I asked first 😃
 
Dorset

Dorset

The Voice Of Reason
Founding Member
Oi fuck off, there's a queue........we need a new patio, but no gravel and I'll find someone to do the grouting. Are you in? Nice orange tree by the way.....(he said grovelling)
The tree in the front container is a lemon tree that I almost killed last year, it was doing very nicely then it started to lose all is leaves, the irrigation system I put in wasn't irrigating him. He's doing OK now and I expect lemons next year. Everywhere round here smells really nice at the moment, it's orange blossom season and there are orange groves everywhere. I cycle up into the mountains most days (not far up, I'm not a mountain cyclist, my heart monitor watch doodah says I only get 70m elevation!) and there are millions of trees. Our Spanish neighbour owns one of the plots and brings us about 10kg of oranges every week. There's a grove for sale locally and if I had a big bucket of money I would be tempted, but what the fuck would I do with all those oranges? I could ship them to Blighty to save you from Brexit orange blight, but fuck you, you keep all your vaccines (and ours) and fuck everybody else, we'll keep our tasty oranges and tomatoes and most of the food you eat - except turnips of course, maybe next Christmas I will be eating Spanish sprouts because we will be keeping them all and you can have turnips.
 
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