Funny stuff

[Dave]

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Racing bosses take action against ‘sexually explicit’ horse names — FOX SPORTS Australia

Racing Australia says it will work with the owner of two horses that ran in Queensland over the Christmas period with ”sexually explicit” names.

apple.news

 

[USspur]

 

[Yid]

You won't regret it. A lot of it is kind of of its time (the Great Depression) but what I like about it--and what's totally relevant today in both our countries--is that he writes about why a lot of people can't be persuaded to support policies that seem obviously good for them.

Just received a message to say its dispatched. I ordered it in Oct...!!! £2.50...!!!

 

[Sneeky]

Can we do this to Jose...

 

[Dave]

 

[Yid]

That's brilliant...!!!

 

[Dave]

 

[Sneeky]

Mrs had a lumber puncture yesterday, she’s obsessed with knowing the Doc’s name performing any procedures. When I asked the name she said...oh some Indian doctor I can’t pronounce. I said write it down how it sounded....

Dr Numdit !

S.

I would of said spinal tap but you grebo’s would go off on one about the 60’s and your bender stratofasters...

 

[Dave]

We've all been there....

 

[Don Diaz]

View attachment 1458We've all been there....

....could be worse.....

 

[Dave]

 

[Dave]

If you want a laugh, read these. This is a bloke who set up a fake customer support profile on Facebook. It's a few years old, but still brilliant.
It's a series of screenshots so I hope they're in order...

 

[Dave]

Just thought I'd give you some footage of the Irish Olympics....we take it very seriously ya know.

What an Athlete!

 

[Sneeky]

 

[Yid]

That can't be real....


How can a team be sponsored by a government BTW...?

Seems a bit weird...

 

[Style And Glory]

That can't be real....


How can a team be sponsored by a government BTW...?

Seems a bit weird...

Probably fake but isn't it Rwanda's tourism dept that sponsors them? ie "visit Rwanda"

 

[USspur]

Probably fake but isn't it Rwanda's tourism dept that sponsors them? ie "visit Rwanda"

Brentford 2-0 Arsenal: Rwandan president Paul Kagame slams Gunners for opening Premier League defeat

Rwandas government has had a sponsorship deal with the north London club since 2018 and the Visit Rwanda logo is shown on Arsenals shirts; We must not excuse or accept mediocrity, the African countrys president Paul Kagame tweeted

www.skysports.com

Rwanda's government has had a sponsorship deal with the north London club since 2018 and the 'Visit Rwanda' logo is shown on Arsenal's shirts; "We must not excuse or accept mediocrity", the African country's president Paul Kagame tweeted

 

[Yid]

Probably fake but isn't it Rwanda's tourism dept that sponsors them? ie "visit Rwanda"

I googled it.... it was 100% real.

 

[spurious]

We could probably spend some time linking France's post-colonial involvement/shithousery in Rwanda and Wenger's Arsenal tenure for fun, but it probably wouldn't qualify as funny.

 

[Dave]

So myself, the wife and kids decided to take a trip to Wales for a few days. During our travels we drove into a little village with one of those mad 29 letter names. Double L's all over the place. We were debating how to pronounce it but couldn't agree, so we decided to stop for a bit of lunch.
As the lady was about to take our order I said " hold on, before that, can you tell me VERY slowly where we are"??
She looked at me and said...
"Buuuurrgerrr Kiiiiiiiiiiiiinnggggggg".

 

[Wotspur]

So myself, the wife and kids decided to take a trip to Wales for a few days. During our travels we drove into a little village with one of those mad 29 letter names. Double L's all over the place. We were debating how to pronounce it but couldn't agree, so we decided to stop for a bit of lunch.
As the lady was about to take our order I said " hold on, before that, can you tell me VERY slowly where we are"??
She looked at me and said...
"Buuuurrgerrr Kiiiiiiiiiiiiinnggggggg".

I thought you were going to say it was spelt LLLWLLLLLDDLLLLLWLLLLLD AND YOU asked how it was pronounced and the lady said ,that’s not the towns name ,that Arsenals last 22 results

 

[Dave]

Apparently during the City v Arsenal game last weekend, Arteta asked the 4th official could he organise a ball to be thrown on to the pitch....the official looked at him and said " there's already a ball on the pitch"....Arteta replied in huff " yes but the City players are playing with that one"..

 

[Sneeky]

 

[spurious]

Willian 'sorry' as Arsenal spell ends

Brazil midfielder Willian apologises to Arsenal fans for a disappointing spell at the club as he rejoins Corinthians.

www.bbc.com

Hehehe. Let's see if he passes the medical before signing for, say, Fluminense.

 

[Dave]

Apparently The new Terminator movie is good. Schwarzenegger is 74, Jesus, mental. The only thing is they had to change his catchphrase to
"Argghhh me back"

 

[Dave]

Some tips for the races today lads....

1.30: Leaky Tap = But only if its running.
2.10: Foundation = You can put your house on it.
2.40: V Neck = It's a good jumper
3.30: ironing board= Put your shirt on it
4.00: Dusty Rug= Never been beaten.

And now.....a poem.....

"YOU dig, I dig, HE digs......SHE digs......
You ALL dig.........THEY dig"

It's not a long poem,.....but it is deep..

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Some tips for the races today lads....

1.30: Leaky Tap = But only if its running.
2.10: Foundation = You can put your house on it.
2.40: V Neck = It's a good jumper
3.30: ironing board= Put your shirt on it
4.00: Dusty Rug= Never been beaten.

And now.....a poem.....

"YOU dig, I dig, HE digs......SHE digs......
You ALL dig.........THEY dig"

It's not a long poem,.....but it is deep..

Shithouse mate.

But I did chuckle.

 

[Dave]