Newcastle United - A (PL) 12:30 Sat 11th August 2018

[Dorset]

The sausage machine says we have a 48% winning chances in this, 28% for the draw and 24% a loss, but fuck that bollocks, I probably wrote the code wrong*, we are obviously 100% going to win this. I heard on the telly this morning that the Toon are on strike, they are refusing to do the walky things for Sky . They want bonuses for doing the job they are paid for. Guess how sympathetic I am?

*Bollocks did I.

 

[Thfcire]

Oiii you cunt where you been lord lucan??? Have you changed your number pal ?? You’ve had us shitting ourselves good to see your ok mate

 

[Yid]

Started to think that ticker had finally given up?

Good to see you posting again.

 

[Don Diaz]

Dorset’s back. Good news...fasten your seatbelts.

 

[Chavhater01]

Welcome home @Dorset

With regards to the game, I have no idea what our team will be. Will the World Cup players all be fit and available, I doubt it and with that and the injuries we have, it’s anyone’s guess as to who’s actually available.

Reckon Aurier, Davies, Davinson, Moura, Eriksen and Sonny are shoe ins, not sure about the rest.

 

[J.spurs]

@Dorset is back. Never mind the match, the season has officially begun.

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Welcome home @Dorset

With regards to the game, I have no idea what our team will be. Will the World Cup players all be fit and available, I doubt it and with that and the injuries we have, it’s anyone’s guess as to who’s actually available.

Reckon Aurier, Davies, Davinson, Moura, Eriksen and Sonny are shoe ins, not sure about the rest.

I thought Sonny missed the first month for the Asian games or something?

 

[Chavhater01]

I thought Sonny missed the first month for the Asian games or something?

I pretty sure he has the first game with us and then flies off after.

 

[Dorset]

Oiii you cunt where you been lord lucan??? Have you changed your number pal ?? You’ve had us shitting ourselves good to see your ok mate

Nah mate, I just turned the fucker off! I've been doing my bit to bring down the average times of looking at their smart phones, it's 12 minutes, but as I haven't looked at mine for 3 months you fuckers must have your eyes nailed to yours.

 

[Motspur Hotspur]

Dorset’s back. Good news...fasten your seatbelts.

yeh and he's being all polite wtf?!!

edit: I didn't see your last post @Dorset that's more like it, welcome back.

 

[Wotspur]

If anyone wants a ticket or two for znewcadtle I do know of a few going

 

[Thfcire]

Nah mate, I just turned the fucker off! I've been doing my bit to bring down the average times of looking at their smart phones, it's 12 minutes, but as I haven't looked at mine for 3 months you fuckers must have your eyes nailed to yours.

Great to hear from you bud try not to go that long again mate or at least let Colin know lol

 

[Thfcire]

There seems to be loads floating around,I’ve never been a member havnt had a season since 90s and the club emailed saying I can have up to three tickets for the Fulham game ffs,it will be a ghostown

 

[Yid]

Club has fucked up... I got the same email offering me tickets... don't even think I have a membership anymore...!!!

 

[Glenjamin]

There seems to be loads floating around,I’ve never been a member havnt had a season since 90s and the club emailed saying I can have up to three tickets for the Fulham game ffs,it will be a ghostown

The entire stadium has seats available in every block. To be honest once they knew this game would take place in Wembley they needed to sell these tickets at damn near a loss to get anyone involved. Everyone is waiting for the next home game against Pool. Levy is a great business man but he doesn't seem to understand how us mere humans work at all! Not that he cares being a multi-millionaire n all.

 

[skiathospurs]

Onomah,winks,wanyama and CCV all in rehab after pre-season injuries.and lamela has a labia strain so wont feature as well.And foyth is a couple of weeks away from return too.

 

[skiathospurs]

Pochettino on the World Cup Nine: "I am so happy with the way they came back to training on Monday. I am so proud about them because they were very focused on trying to arrive in a very good condition. Of course the circumstances are completely different from each other."
"Some need more time to get fit than others. Some will be fit to start the game. Some will be fit to be on the bench. Maybe some will stay here to try to reach the level, to give more time, because maybe we don’t want to take risks or they need more preparation"

 

[BrooklynYid]

Man, wish I could get to London and grab tickets for the Wembley match. Unlikely to come to pass though. As far as transfers, so long as we keep Toby and Dembele I will be happy. I don't think City has improved (not that they needed to),United will suck, Arsenal are gonna get steamrolled by mid-table teams like Leicester and Burnley. Hopefully Sarri struggles his first season because Chelsea do have a lot of talent. Still think we'll be top 4, though I think Poch can stop his fantasy of winning the PL or CL this season.

 

[Style And Glory]

Onomah,winks,wanyama and CCV all in rehab after pre-season injuries.and lamela has a labia strain so wont feature as well.And foyth is a couple of weeks away from return too.

Isn't that part of a vagina? Fuck. Poor guy.

 

[Yid]

Isn't that part of a vagina? Fuck. Poor guy.

I saw this and though I was being pranked...

"The labia are the part of the vulva that some people call the "lips," because they kind of look like lips. There are two sets of labia: the larger, fleshier, pubic hair-covered labia majora on the outside; and the smaller, smooth labiaminora tucked inside those". Google 15 Feb 2018.

 

[Rev John Ripsher]

Onomah,winks,wanyama and CCV all in rehab after pre-season injuries.and lamela has a labia strain so wont feature as well.And foyth is a couple of weeks away from return too.

Poch seems very positive about all of our injury situations and confirms that they are all responding well and are all on the way back.

 

[skiathospurs]

Isn't that part of a vagina? Fuck. Poor guy.

was a reflection of my mood yday and I apologise to erik as this doesnt reflect my views on his ability,but he does seem to strain a lot of things.

 

[Don Diaz]

Right let's get this season off to a flying start with a win. Poch will expect nothing else after that 5-1 defeat a few years ago and we've seen lots of nice pictures and happy smiling faces of the boys in training, so just go and do it. 3-1 is my bold prediction, but I'd settle for any sort of win, then duff up Fulham next week in font of 57 die hard fans at Wembley.

Can't wait to give Hugo a huge reception at the new Stadium. Wonder if he'll do a lap with the trophy and Harry clutching a boot??

 

[skiathospurs]

Right let's get this season off to a flying start with a win. Poch will expect nothing else after that 5-1 defeat a few years ago and we've seen lots of nice pictures and happy smiling faces of the boys in training, so just go and do it. 3-1 is my bold prediction, but I'd settle for any sort of win, then duff up Fulham next week in font of 57 die hard fans at Wembley.

Can't wait to give Hugo a huge reception at the new Stadium. Wonder if he'll do a lap with the trophy and Harry clutching a boot??

and harry to go up to no salad and show it close up and say "wow really"

 

[Don Diaz]

.....Assuming the Egyptian Pharaoh hasn't broken a nail and is in tears again......

 

[skiathospurs]

Newcastle defender Florian Lejeune has had surgery on the knee injury he suffered in pre season and will be a long-term absentee.
New signings Yoshinori Muto and Salomon Rondon are available for selection.
Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino has said he will decide after training on Friday which of his players who played at the World Cup will be available.
Juan Foyth, Erik Lamela, Victor Wanyama and Harry Winks are all absent because of injuries.

 

[Dorset]

Newcastle Chronicle says we've lost this?

It’s fair to say Spurs are in the middle of an injury crisis and may have to use several youngsters. Key players such as Juan Foyth, Erik Lamela, Victor Wanyama and Harry Winks are out.

Hmmm. Those chaps, magnificent as they are, didn't play huge roles in our Premiership campaign last year , 3,240 minutes of possible PL time:

Juan Foyth 0 minutes
Erik Lamela 832 minutes
Victor Wanyama 839 minutes
Harry Winks 771 minutes

My prediction is, Mr Buyrite 3 House Of Fraser 1

Interesting (or not) stats:

• First match: FA Cup on Saturday, 18 February 1905. Tottenham Hotspur were playing at home that day and the final score was Tottenham Hotspur 1 Newcastle United 1 .
• Highest Score: League Division One, Saturday, 1 September 1951, Newcastle United 7 Tottenham Hotspur 2 - eeek!
• Latest meeting: Premier League game on Wednesday, 9 May 2018, the score was Tottenham Hotspur 1 Newcastle United 0
• Head To head: n all the 158 matches Newcastle United have played against Tottenham Hotspur they have won 58 lost 68 and drawn 32 matches.
• Nil Nil: There ain't never, ever, never been a 0-0 draw in the PL when we've played the toon (46 matches )
• Last 6: Newcastle have beaten Chelsea, Huddersfield, Arsenal, Southampton and United in their last 6 home matches of last season, only West Brom beat them at home. Interestingly only West Brom took all 3 from us away in the last 6. Yeah really, West fucking Bromwich fucking Albion!

 

[skiathospurs]

Tottenham are playing their opening match of the season away from home for the eighth consecutive year. In English top-flight history, only Burnley have ever had a longer run, playing nine opening games away between 1888 and 1896.
In addition, this will be the fourth time Newcastle and Tottenham have played each other on the opening weekend of a Premier League season, the most in the competition's history.

 

[skiathospurs]

 

[Dorset]

Does Harry look like he's been eating some pies?

I hope he's not been trying out the new pie menu.